The Postal Dude: Please don't think I'm a bigot, I kill races equally...
The Postal Dude: [Entering Lucky Ganesh All-American grocery store] Did somebody slaughter a goat in here? Seriously, I wanna know.
The Postal Guy: Buttsauce!
The Postal Dude: You probably thought you weren't goin' to die today? Surprise!
The Postal Dude: Guns don't kill people, I do!
The Postal Dude: I know what you're thinking, but the funny thing is, I don't even LIKE videogames...
The Postal Dude: Here I was, just enjoying my Second Amendment rights, and you people have to freak out on me!
The Postal Dude: The gene pool is stagnant and I am the minister of chlorine.
The Postal Dude: [after putting on Police Uniform] I am The Law
The Postal Dude: Hey I'm just trying to exercise my second-amendment rights here ya **** Communist!
The Postal Dude: You probably think I'm not a nice person...
The Postal Dude: Please don't think I'm a bigot, I kill races equally...
The Postal Dude: I suppose it would have been more politically correct to kill the women in the minorities first.
The Postal Dude: [at the end of the game] Honey, you won't believe the day I've had!
Postal Dude's Wife: Did you remember my Rocky Road?
The Postal Dude: D'oh!
[gunshot]
The Postal Dude: [after finding that it's the apocalypse in the newspaper] Hmm... Normally, I'd expect a fancy cinematic to explain a such crucial story element. The font is nice, though.
The Postal Dude: [shoots someone] That one's for your mother!
[shoots another person]
The Postal Dude: That one's for the Pope!
[shoots another person]
The Postal Dude: That one's for Bobo the space-monkey!
[shoots someone else]
The Postal Dude: That one's cause I have ammo left in my gun!
[shoots last person, bells ring]
The Postal Dude: That one's 'cause I can!
The Postal Dude: I was pretty hungover yesterday, but I think I remember where I work.
The Postal Dude: Bless me, father, for I have sinned. No, really! I'm not kidding here! *Big* sinner. Yup!
The Postal Dude: [being arrested] Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, just cuff me already, big man!
The Postal Dude: [after shooting someone while you're dressed as a cop] Someone stole my donuts, and now you're all gonna pay!
The Postal Dude: Ow, right in the stuff.
The Postal Dude: I regret nothing.
ATF: [the ATF has a compound surrounded]
[Through a loudspeaker]
ATF: This is the ATF. Please stay inside. Do not attempt to leave the building. Pay no attention to the men with the torches.
Uncle Dave: Stop oppressing us! We're innocent bystanders!
ATF: [Through a loudspeaker] We recommend you douse yourselves with something flammable, and gather in a confined space.
Uncle Dave: The good book told me to make you die. Then myself.
ATF Agent #1: Someone's gotta take over, now!
ATF Agent #2: I ain't dying for this.
ATF SAC: I want this situation neutralized. Move out!
ATF Agent #1: I'm on it.
[Sprints towards compound, holding a napalm canister launcher]
ATF SAC: Go go go!
Davidian Sniper: [ATF Agent #1 fires a canister at the compound. The Davidian Sniper shoots back] We're not zealots! Eat lead and die, unbelieving heathen scum!
ATF SAC: Secure the area. Comb the perimeter.
[Last lines]
The Postal Dude: Doh!
Terrorist: Your mother is a goat that my father services!
Terrorist: Infidel! I crash a plane into your mother!
Krotchy: You think you can take Krotchy down?
Krotchy: Have a Krotchy day!
Krotchy: Krotchy ain't GOT no cajones, Krotchy IS cajones, ****
thanx " The following words (b***h,f****n') within your review were automatically censored."