PDZ...Pretty Disappointing...Zebra? (I don't like it, okay!)
User Rating: 3 | Perfect Dark Zero X360
Perfect Dark Zero is a prequel to the 2000 N64 hit, Perfect Dark, but hey, you could've fooled me! The game is nothing like the previous installment. Joanna Dark is no longer a tough, respectable, British agent. Now, she is a "Kim Possible-like" character who no longer has a British accent which doesn't make sense. The game takes place 3 years before the events of the first game, but for some reason the game likes to act like it has been 10 years. The story is a mess and even Wikipedia can't write a good plot summary about it. The best I could sum it up is that you play as Joanna Dark and go on missions with her father. Nothing else makes sense. I always imagined that Joanna Dark was James Bond's daughter so maybe her father would be a lot like James Bond, right? Wrong. He is annoying and uninteresting just like every other character in the game. The gameplay is clunky, slow, and boring and since you can choose your weapons before every level, all the difficulty is practically gone. The stealth elements are laughable and everyone in this game looks like they are made out of pudding. And they walk like they are stuck in cement! Perfect Dark Zero is probably the most disappointing game I have ever played. Not once was I ever having fun. Not once did I ever say, "Well, that section was good." Not once did I ever consider anyone could screw up a game like this so badly. Perfect Dark Zero fails to impress, innovate, or simply let the player have fun. The multiplayer isn't good either which is pretty shocking since Rare used to be the king of that sort of thing. I think the saddest thing that Perfect Dark Zero has done was make me still feel ripped-off even though I payed only 5 bucks for it.
