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'Raging Boll' boxing bouts set

Director of Postal picks five fiercest critics to step into the ring with him later this year; one of them a minor?

Uwe Boll wants to pummel his biggest detractors, and online gambling site GoldenPalace.com is giving him the chance to do just that. The outlandish online casino has signed on as a sponsor for "Raging Boll," the culmination of the BloodRayne director's open challenge to his critics to engage him in physical combat.

Boll originally challenged his critics to step into the ring with him for a series of five 10-round matches over the final two days of Vancouver filming for his big-screen adaptation of Postal (he later amended the match length to three rounds). Prospective pugilists were required to send in "at least two extremely negative articles" written about Boll's movies in 2005 to be considered by the director.

Boll also directly challenged a pair of his peers to put on the gloves. "Roger Avary and Quentin Tarantino are among the most eligible candidates," read Boll's original release, referring to the writer and writer/director of Pulp Fiction. Avary also wrote the screenplay for the big-screen version of Silent Hill and will write and direct the film based on the Driver games.

Apparently Avary and Tarantino didn't take Boll up on the challenge, as they are absent from the director's just-announced slate of five opponents. Currently four matches are scheduled for September 23, with the other match taking place in Spain at an unspecified earlier date. Boll's opponent for the first match will be Carlos Palencia Jimenez-Arguello, webmaster of Cinecutre.

After that, Boll will run a one-day gauntlet of matches against Something Awful webmaster Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka, Ain't It Cool News writer Jeff Sneider, horror magazine Rue Morgue writer Chris Alexander, and a fifth opponent who GameSpot has reason to believe is a minor. When asked about the age of the fifth contestant and the legality of bringing an American juvenile to Canada for the purposes of a boxing match, a representative of Boll's merely said the matter was being looked into, and that he would get back to us.

GoldenPalace.com is known for unusual advertising campaigns. The company has previously grabbed headlines by purchasing William Shatner's kidney stone, a grilled cheese sandwich with an image of the Virgin Mary, and Britney Spears' pregnancy test. It also paid a woman $10,000 to tattoo the site's URL on her forehead, and forked over $15,500 for the naming rights to a Connecticut woman's baby.

192 Comments

  • holypro

    Posted Dec 6, 2009 12:40 pm GMT

    boll ftw

  • osxgp

    Posted Aug 1, 2007 12:20 am GMT

    This guy needs his @ss kicked. Sometimes it helps put you in your place.

  • miggidy24

    Posted Aug 28, 2006 3:34 pm GMT

    "To be eligible you must be a critic who has posted on the Internet or have written in magazines/newspapers at least two extremely negative articles in the year 2005. Critics of 2006 will not be considered. Folks between 140 and 190 pounds, send an email to info@boll.kg.de and help Uwe prove that he isn't a bad filmmaker through physical violence."
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Damn, and I just dropped 40 lbs going from 170 to 130 pounds.
    Oh well I can gain a few pounds just to make the 140 pound limit.

    But this thing is only open to movie critics
    Oh well, I'm still sending my e-mail calling Uwe out because he's fighting a minor. I'm going to call him out for trying to fight Tarantino and bad mouthing about the lovely Tara Reid!

  • miggidy24

    Posted Aug 28, 2006 2:59 pm GMT

    Uwe is not only old, but he looks way out of shape.
    I'll give him one round before he's huffin and puffin.
    I swear I'd kick his tail!

    Ok I'm going to see what I can do to enter this thing
    Picking on an underaged kid, what a bully :I

  • mamodoking

    Posted Aug 28, 2006 12:31 pm GMT

    If this was April 1st, I would never believe this.

  • SOLIDUS_SNAKE

    Posted Aug 28, 2006 11:42 am GMT

    i would love to see tarantino beat the s*** outta him

  • SOLIDUS_SNAKE

    Posted Aug 28, 2006 11:41 am GMT

    boll is an idiot

  • Tseng

    Posted Aug 28, 2006 11:38 am GMT

    He's not an experienced boxer. He's an enthuisast who has boxed in the past. And aside from the fact that he probably started training when he announced this utterly ridiculous and childish contest, I very much doubt that he has stepped in the ring with a serious opponent for years. I hope he gets his ass handed to him. "You don't like my movies, so I'm going to beat you up!" Since when did grown men act like they were still in the 2nd grade? A pathetic excuse for a man and a director.

  • gameloverx

    Posted Aug 28, 2006 11:25 am GMT

    nah Uwe Boll is an experienced boxer there's no way he'll die

  • glitchgeeman

    Posted Aug 28, 2006 9:55 am GMT

    Maybe if we're lucky, he'll die in one of his fights.

  • BionicCommando2

    Posted Aug 28, 2006 7:01 am GMT

    I'd like to get in on this one. He needs his butt kicked for totally destroying what could've been a cool movie "House of the Dead".

  • PyleA

    Posted Aug 28, 2006 6:11 am GMT

    Serenity NOW!

  • baelrrogg

    Posted Aug 28, 2006 4:52 am GMT

    We can only hope he dies in the ring....

  • Andron666

    Posted Aug 28, 2006 4:43 am GMT

    If his films are anything to go by, he's in trouble.

    He might have boxed years ago, but was he any good ?

    He will probably trip over his own feet, in the first round of the first match.

    And what has he got against Tarantino and Avary ?

  • miggidy24

    Posted Aug 28, 2006 1:10 am GMT

    Not many know that Uwe used to box.
    So he's got a good idea of what he's doing.

    I know I'm going to get flamed, but being a huge late 70's and early 80's zombie movie freak, I actually liked House of the Dead.
    It was a throwback to George Romero's and Lucio Fulci's movies.
    I hated the cheesy wardrobe on the bad actors though.
    But I didn't think the movie was "that" bad. It was so bad that it was good in a way to me.

    But enough of that, I don't like the fact that Uwe challenged one of my favorite directors in Tarantino
    Bad Uwe very bad.
    Now I wanna rip your head off!
    I wonder how many people would sign a petition replacing the under aged American kid with me
    Hey, I used to train with a few pro boxers here and there.
    I even took a few lessons from one of the greatest boxing trainers in the world today. (not to mention my Brazilian Jui Jitsu background).
    Not only can I easily go 3 rounds, hell I spar for up to 10 five minute rounds three times a week....

    How many people want to see a Gamespot family member kick Uwe's @$$? I know I do! hahaha....

  • Gawl2k9

    Posted Aug 28, 2006 12:58 am GMT

    I've got it. Uwe Boll needs to make a movie based on the most amazing game EVER made. If you don't remember this (Japanese only) mega then you need to just die. Drum roll please..........

    PEPSI MAN!!!!!!!!!!!

    And some how he will get some rediculously famous actor to play him like..........THE ROCK! Yeah!

  • Dreski83

    Posted Aug 27, 2006 8:37 pm GMT

    I hope this is filmed or broadcasted cause I'm gettin a 12 pack and wearing a big ol' smile to this event ^_^

  • Eviltwin

    Posted Aug 27, 2006 8:09 pm GMT

    Uba owns!!!!

    i hope the both get hurts XD

  • CyphenX

    Posted Aug 27, 2006 6:14 pm GMT

    This is magnificent

  • awarriorofgamin

    Posted Aug 27, 2006 3:29 pm GMT

    rl_41
    Lol this has little to do with video games almost nothing except for the brief mention of blood rayne i dont get why ppl bother to make video game movies they never translate well the only one im looking forward to is the halo movie and thats probably gonna be medicore

  • zac41

    Posted Aug 27, 2006 9:28 am GMT

    Boll is an idiot, and should'nt be allowed to be anywhere near a camera. Every movie he has made, has been a complete piece of ****

  • rl_41

    Posted Aug 27, 2006 9:22 am GMT

    Lol this has little to do with video games

  • hyperboy152000

    Posted Aug 27, 2006 8:29 am GMT

    dunno if this has been posted before but he should set up a match with Jack Thompson.....both these guys do not know how to stop talking and make people hate them even more.....it would be the match we would all love to hate see who won

  • anamnawshad

    Posted Aug 27, 2006 8:17 am GMT

    Hope he gets a heart attack while fighting!

  • Maquis_UK

    Posted Aug 27, 2006 6:09 am GMT

    why doesnt he just go do something else instead? muckdonalds are always hiring...!

  • GrimBee

    Posted Aug 27, 2006 4:09 am GMT

    Oh man, another flaming thing starts again.

    BUT, this is to be expected with anything to do with uwe boll. Geez, I hate uwe boll, i even dedicated my user video to him (check it!). He is an absolute freak, end of.

    I mean, here are some games which could make big movies -

    Soul Calibur

    Silent Hill (already done)

    Abes Oddysee (an awesome cgi movie)

    Project Zero (fatal frame)

    Wipeout

    Streets Of Rage

    ... dude the list goes on.

    Just not POSTAL... postal is a crap game, a very crappy game. Its fun because you would chuck diseased cows heads at people n stuff, but i would never pay to see this done really badly in a really bad movie. Uwe Boll doesnt know how to make things funny, or at the least vaguely amuzing. His films have no emotion, barely any plot at all, and everything about his movies actually makes the games WORSE than anything.

    After the resident evil movie etc, if it wasnt for resi 4 the resident evil series would of ben regarded as a sell out crapness fest. The silent hill movie was actually pretty good, it is just like the games really, and if it fares well on dvd this q4 then i can see the series getting a nice little boost.

    But uwe boll, and his no-passion for games (hes just looking for a market he can make money from) is taking every awful game liscence (except alone in the dark) and turning the ENTIRE franchise into a really stupid lame attempt at making some cash.

    If i was uwe boll, i would drop these awful stunts and pr attempts and get a good team together to wok on making a really amazing movie. I just dont see how someone in his position can make movies so damn awful. All you would need to do is hire a couple of fans (for free) to create screenplays etc, then get a proffessional well known writer to iron it all out. Get some awesome actors there and you possibly would get a movie which is going to bu fun for the fans (maybe not for the film going audience) but at least it would win SOME hearts and generate some market share for the entire liscence, rather than make it go all rotten and fester on the bottom of some bargain bin section, along with the games... and all of its fans..

  • Gawl2k9

    Posted Aug 27, 2006 3:52 am GMT

    [This message was deleted at the request of a moderator or administrator]

  • mkurts

    Posted Aug 27, 2006 2:41 am GMT

    The guy has done more than enough to ruin and trash good game franchises with his god awful movies.

    I hope he loses, and dies in the event. If that happens, I hope they shoot him in the head a few more times so that he does not come back as an undead.

  • grizam

    Posted Aug 27, 2006 2:15 am GMT

    boll will kick their asses btw.... he is a boxer after all

  • xtile

    Posted Aug 27, 2006 12:13 am GMT

    MoK, the irony of misspelling retarded, eh?

  • cubeace6

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 10:30 pm GMT

    postal's gotta get ruined like all of his other game to movie adaptions

  • pimpinjoey

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 10:17 pm GMT

    [This message was deleted at the request of a moderator or administrator]

  • MoK86

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 10:01 pm GMT

    [This message was deleted at the request of a moderator or administrator]

  • Gawl2k9

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 9:23 pm GMT

    I'm not sure everyone will agree with me but man do I love Uwe Boll. NOT because he does anything right at all but the fact that this man does what ever he wants and gets famous for being an idiot. The strange thing is that it works. There is no such thing as bad press and he knows it. I've seen every Uwe Boll movie so far (TOTALLY DIDN'T pay for them though so as to not fuel his pocket book) and I just can't help but laugh. Its like he is purposely trying to make the worst movies ever and I morbidly keep watching them just to see HOW bad they are. I guess I must be a bit of a movie masochist or something because I love to laugh at the tripe that he creates.

    Everyone do me a favor. Watch House of the Dead with the director commentary and experience the joy that is Uwe Boll saying things like "this is my homage to Pearl Harbor......this is my homage to Shindler's List....etc.) Price less. Uwe Boll is like watching a Jerry Springer episode you just can't help but watch it. Not because its interesting but you just want to see how terrible things can eventually get. Can't wait to see how this all turns out.

  • komdosina

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 8:51 pm GMT

    Wether he wins or loses Uwe Bolls movies still=suckage.

  • DirtyRotten

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 8:43 pm GMT

    This jackass is gonna be showing up on Hollywood Squares next to Alf in a year or two.

  • Riverwolf007

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 5:45 pm GMT

    He needs to engage Alfred Hitchcock in either a breath holding or time underground contest.

  • Kravyn81

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 5:38 pm GMT

    This is a pathetic publicity stunt. So what does this jerk think? Engaging in physcial combat will somehow make a difference or make his previous movies not suck anymore.

    What complete laughing stock this guy is.

  • JayGonDS89

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 4:25 pm GMT

    Uwe Boll = teh suck.

  • Technoweirdo

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 3:26 pm GMT

    Coming soon to a tv or computer that's seriously too near to you:

    Jack Thompson vs. Uwe Boll

    Jack Thompson absolutely hates video games and anything related to them, so he'd be perfect for one of the matches. And if the rumors about Uwe Boll having previous boxing experience are true, I'm going to have to put it this way, $500 on Boll winning.

    I could already imagine the fight and the end.
    Jack Thompson knocked out in one punch.

    A lot of people would love to see them fight so it wouldn't surprise me if this movie if it existed would make a lot of money and get a good review. However, they're not fighting, so chances of the movie getting a good review= 1:999999 If the movie is actually good, I'll watch all the movies Boll has ever made, no matter how terrible.

  • Unknown_Legend

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 3:22 pm GMT

    His movies suck so now he wants to bully people in something he would have the advantage in. So lets make this fair. Maybe he would wanna fight me.I'm 6ft, 240lbs, muscled, trained in Sambo, and about to begin my pro wrestling training. I hate EVERY movie of his that I've seen. So yea Uwe, fight me.

  • bliechty

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 2:17 pm GMT

    Dream-bout: Jack Thompson vs. Uwe Boll
    No gloves, no bell, no timer, midieval weapons strewn about the ring.
    The loser dies in the ring.
    The winner is forced to eat so much butter that he loses the ability to speak.

    mmmm... butter

  • RedG375

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 2:06 pm GMT

    This is ridiculous. What will he prove by boxing a few critics? Just how immature and unable to accept the truth he is.

  • runstalker

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 12:08 pm GMT

    -~-~-~-~


    Uwe Boll is a thickly-built man who trains his boxing several times a week. He practices on himself via direct blows to his own head, instead of using a punching bag. Immediately following these sessions, he creates storyboards and ideas for his movies.


    -~-~-~-~

  • LqdSnk

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 11:19 am GMT

    What a jackass. This publicity stunt sucks. It would have been amazing if no one applied to kick his ass and he returned to doing whatever he did before his crap-ass movies. It's like Lard-Lad from the Simpsons Hallowe'en episode, let's all look away and maybe he'll disappear.

  • CrimsonJet562

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 10:52 am GMT

    Y'now, Boll kind of reminds me of Jack Thompson, the anti-gaming advocate who's ruined his name by being a totall jacka$$. They're both self-serving, both condescending, and both lacking about 80% of a brain. Seriously, what's Boll trying to prove? It sure won't do anything to make his career better, and certainly won't make his movies anymore entertaining or good. He's an idiot, and this whole fiasco proves it. I hope that kid cleans his clock.

  • fushinjin

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 10:02 am GMT

    May the vengeful hands of slightly more honorable movie critic’s rise up and struck Boll down. He has butchered movies my dick could direct better; as they seem to me movies based on the scheme out of The Producers. The movies under his belt are numerous; Bloody Rayne, Alone in the Dark, House of the Dead. These movies are so bad they lost money. They have no relation to the games they are based on other than the title. I recall watching Alone in the Dark and noticing that after an actress died she moved again afterwards. Boll is the manifestation of the modern day Ed Wood; one take is enough for him... no need to look back and see his shining failure looking back.

    And even with all of these abominations he has brought upon this world he still gets work. Three more movies he has in the works including Dungeon Siege, Postal and Far cry.

    Please if anyone has any shred of decency, to anyone interested in one day seeing a good video game adaptation movie; then we the American people, no, the people of the world must rise up and slay this damnable beast that has emerged from the Pit to bring sh*t upon this world. Maybe he be hung, drawn and quartered; and his pieces lay in separate lands across this Earth. May this be done so that he many never become whole again and plagues us with this horrendous sh*t.

  • supercrap1

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 9:54 am GMT

    I hope someone sneaks in some brass knuckles.

  • birdinflight

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 9:51 am GMT

    "If their back to back hill get knocked out by the 3rd fighter. "

    Not if his opponents are all untrained and out of shape. The competitors Uwe selected will be extremely lucky to last even one round with him. People have to consider that he is the ONLY one among them with any real experience. I'd love for Uwe to get rocked here, but it's unfortunately not going to happen.

    Uwe intended for it to be a slaughter. He made sure not to take anyone that would screw that up.

  • StillWingless

    Posted Aug 26, 2006 9:42 am GMT

    Lowtax! Avenge us!

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