The Getaway, only without any flash or substance.
Maybe I'm being a little too hard on this game, but I forked out £30 looking for something to rival my expectations of Liberty City Stories. I mean, the graphic novel and story truly is top notch. But alas, on with the review:
Gameplay:
Something really caught me off guard with this game, perhaps it was the consistent use of foul language (In a video game? HOW ABSURD!) or even the constant recycling of entire city blocks. Oh yeah, that's right, it's the lack of reasonable and/or fun gameplay. Once the lengthy tutorial is over, you choose what mission you're willing to undertake. These vary from the "God help me, a man is sticking 15 safety pins in my eye!" to the "John Romero really must be grinning ear to ear", seriously, these are practically the same missions but with different segments of dialogue or purpose. The missions purely are car chase; followed by sneaking into some building for some preposterous reason beyond me, to shooting some unchallenging foes and another car chase JUST FOR CONSISTANCY. If we're looking for fun to be had in the gameplay, then god help us all. On to the graphics, anyway.
Graphics:
Sure, the cars are nicely rendered, and a few of the buildings have some charm. But I can't get past the low res textures all over the place, which by the way, fortunately do not cause seizures due to them being so bland and tasteless. It's practically Max Payne all over again, accept, Max Payne was a total badass with awesome dialogue like "YO, I BE BUSTIN' CAPS IN FOOLS WHO BE KILLIN' MY FAMILY! WORD" and the game was fun. Gang members are completely recycled time and time again, something reminiscent of GTA: SA no doubt. Let's take a peek into the offices of SCEE London! "Hai gais was jus wunderin if we culd hav the gaim shiped by augist. K?", "No wai. wi neid 2 werk on the awesom mini gaim!", "Wht is it?", "Find thi bugs wii forgot 2 fix", "....k u got 4 weiks m8".Sloppy, all I can say. Now, onto the crown jewel in this pile of poop:
Story:
Now this makes it all worth while, this, one of many reasons The Getaway had its moments of glory. The majority of the story and comic value comes in the form of graphic novels, which sadly fails to make up for the poor gameplay and lack of sufficient level design. Let’s face it, who doesn't love hearing 40-something members of the Kane organisation divulge in gripping conversations about the size of a woman's breasts or actions involving ones reproductive organ.
This is game is just funny, so funny it merits the story purely as a winner. The graphics novels are enjoyable and plentiful; the plot thickens to the beat of an ambitious drum. And yet, it sickens me to say the rest of the game has little entertainment value.
Verdict:
£30? Please, I'll see this next time I'm in Game Stop for a whopping £20 in the space of four months prior to the game's release. The impressive story does not match the poor gameplay and graphics, and I have the sincerest doubt the extras atone for anything else.
Do yourself a favour, when you're in Tesco’s with some cash burning a hole in your pocket; don't go for over hyped pieces of tat like this. The Getaway series just works well and this on the other hand. Doesn't.