Over protective/ Over bearing parents..

I'm a 23 year old guy turning 24. I have a job, graduated college, and live in my parent's second home. I'm an only child and I feel like my parents are over bearing. They would call me at night if they see I'm not home. When I mean night I mean 9pm. They ask me questions constantly, questions such as where are you going tonight? is it safe? who are you going with? I love my family and they have good intentions, however, I feel like they're over protective and so over bearing that I almost can't take it anymore. It's annoying and uncalled for. What do you think about this? Anyone in the same situation?

Try telling them that.

Try telling them that.

iHarlequin

Just walk in and say

Their house, their rules. Don't like it? Move out. The only exception is if you're paying for your own keep to stay there.

When I visit my folks at their place, I (and my own family) abide by their rules.

As long as you're living with them they'll probably have that mentality.

I think talking with them would be good.  

Just get your own place.

They let you live in their house so you're not exactly in a position to complain. At least try talking to them about it. Personally I'd rather have parents to care too much than ones who couldn't care less.

And just where were you going at 9pm?SolidSnake35

Did anyone else catch that it is the second home?

I'm a 23 year old guy turning 24. I have a job, graduated college, and live in my parent's second home. I'm an only child and I feel like my parents are over bearing. They would call me at night if they see I'm not home. When I mean night I mean 9pm. They ask me questions constantly, questions such as where are you going tonight? is it safe? who are you going with? I love my family and they have good intentions, however, I feel like they're over protective and so over bearing that I almost can't take it anymore. It's annoying and uncalled for. What do you think about this? Anyone in the same situation?

LegitGamer3212

You say second home, yet you make it sound like they are in the house with you. Guess I'm just having a hard time following.

Did anyone else catch that it is the second home?

StrifeDelivery

My parents are like this. I just answer the phone when they call and reassure them that I'm okay. It gets annoying but ehh, what can you do, they're your parents.

Find a time to sit down and talk to them - make it clear that you want the talk to be very open and honest. And then tell them how you feel about the way they are treating you. Hopefully, if they decide to tell you why they're so overprotective, you and your parents can reach some kind of common understanding. From there, perhaps they will be persuaded to change the way they treat you.

If they don't change or show no signs of changing, then you should firmly but nicely tell them that you want to leave if they won't stop being overbearing and overprotective. And if you ever get to the point of actually moving out, see if you can give some kind of reassurance that you'll be safe and that you know how to take care of yourself. Maybe you can do something like call them every weekend, hang out with them from time to time, etc. just so that you get to have more freedom and they get to spend more time with their son/daughter/other (I don't know your gender). 

Also, TC, it would help to know what their values are. Are they conservative and traditional? Very religious? These kinds of things factor into the overprotective parent mindset, as far as I can tell. 

Trust me, thats not over bearing. They are just worried about you, their only child. I knew a guy whose mother wouldn't let him date wh ohe wanted at age 27. Mother f***ing 27.

Be glad you have loving parents.

You have a job, graduated college, and still live with your parents? What kind of job do you have?

If you're finacially able, move out. If you're not, just explain to your parents that you're a fully grown adult that can take care of himself and while you understand their concerns, sometimes it's best to let the bird out of the nest.

Find a time to sit down and talk to them - make it clear that you want the talk to be very open and honest. And then tell them how you feel about the way they are treating you. Hopefully, if they decide to tell you why they're so overprotective, you and your parents can reach some kind of common understanding. From there, perhaps they will be persuaded to change the way they treat you.

If they don't change or show no signs of changing, then you should firmly but nicely tell them that you want to leave if they won't stop being overbearing and overprotective. And if you ever get to the point of actually moving out, see if you can give some kind of reassurance that you'll be safe and that you know how to take care of yourself. Maybe you can do something like call them every weekend, hang out with them from time to time, etc. just so that you get to have more freedom and they get to spend more time with their son/daughter/other (I don't know your gender). 

Also, TC, it would help to know what their values are. Are they conservative and traditional? Very religious? These kinds of things factor into the overprotective parent mindset, as far as I can tell. 

ghoklebutter

I come from an Asian family. Chinese to be exact. Furthermore, I'm an only child. they're very conservative and traditional. 

[QUOTE="LegitGamer3212"]

I'm a 23 year old guy turning 24. I have a job, graduated college, and live in my parent's second home. I'm an only child and I feel like my parents are over bearing. They would call me at night if they see I'm not home. When I mean night I mean 9pm. They ask me questions constantly, questions such as where are you going tonight? is it safe? who are you going with? I love my family and they have good intentions, however, I feel like they're over protective and so over bearing that I almost can't take it anymore. It's annoying and uncalled for. What do you think about this? Anyone in the same situation?

StrifeDelivery

You say second home, yet you make it sound like they are in the house with you. Guess I'm just having a hard time following.

I live in their second home, they live in the first home. I go over their place after work to eat dinner. If I don't go over for dinner they still call me to see where I am. I'm planning to stop going over their house for dinner. 

This is actually something you could just tell them yourself. See what they say. Yeah, they sound a little over the top. But don't ask us! Get that shit outta there, haha. 

No but in all seriousness, talk to them in a mature manner. They're not going to kill you. 

It might be time to move out.gamertylers

[QUOTE="StrifeDelivery"]

[QUOTE="LegitGamer3212"]

I'm a 23 year old guy turning 24. I have a job, graduated college, and live in my parent's second home. I'm an only child and I feel like my parents are over bearing. They would call me at night if they see I'm not home. When I mean night I mean 9pm. They ask me questions constantly, questions such as where are you going tonight? is it safe? who are you going with? I love my family and they have good intentions, however, I feel like they're over protective and so over bearing that I almost can't take it anymore. It's annoying and uncalled for. What do you think about this? Anyone in the same situation?

LegitGamer3212

You say second home, yet you make it sound like they are in the house with you. Guess I'm just having a hard time following.

I live in their second home, they live in the first home. I go over their place after work to eat dinner. If I don't go over for dinner they still call me to see where I am. I'm planning to stop going over their house for dinner. 

How dare your parents provide for and care about you!  Clearly there is something wrong with them.