How to increase my devotion to shrek?

I pray to Shrek every night and eat 2 onions a day pondering about the lessons that the Ogrelord has taught. I want to be the most loyal follower of Shrek in the world how can I increase my devotion for him?

Exchange all your US Dollars for Shrekels and insist every outlet accepts them

Kneel at the feet of your bed, let him come and accept him into you...not necessarily in that order...

• Achieve ogre vision. To do this, place two drops of pure onion juice into each eye. This must be done in sync and you must keep your eyes open until all drops have been administered. It is encouraged that you have another follower to assist for best results.
• Keep onion lubricant close to your bed and have a small bottle on you wherever you go. You never know when Shrek may appear, especially if you complete the ogre vision ritual.
• Wear tattered clothes and don't bathe. Shrek prefers his followers to embrace their natural scents.

get a tattoo of shreks face over your own face... and impregnate cameron diaz.

Play these two games and Shrek will be proud of you:

Shadow of mordor

Spacemarine

Take a fat orge shit in a swamp whilst listening to Smash Mouth.

release green farts in public

If you haven't lit your ear wax candle to maintain the constant ogre vigil, then you must ask yourself "Am I really 'bout dat life?"

Man OT is on a downward spiral....

Sacrifice a donkey to a dragon.

People seem to be having fun in this thread. I don't see how this is bad. It's a gem in a forum filled with trolling and hatred.