How many of you who have had zero or a few girlfriends...

always F stuff up when it comes to girls? Like, say you actually work up the courage to ask a girl out, and she says yes. so you are feeling good, then you F up the date by being boring, coming on too strong, etc. and are back to being by yourself again?

My best friend is like that and it bothers me. I want to help him, but I don't know how to make him come out of his shell. If we go on group dates, he's more talkative, but in that case both girls will be more into me. When he goes on his own dates, he is really shy and it gets akward. He has gotten his own dates twice.. usually I'd ask a girl out and one of her friends will come too and my friend will too so it will be a group thing. Or I'll try to hook him up with a girl I know or am dating's friends. (that sentence sounds like i used the grammar of a 5th grader).

He is also spoiled, but not rich, 19 years old, never had a job, sleeps a lot, is scared of everything, isn't a fan of social situations, clubbing, etc., he's chubby, balding, hairy, short and has bad teeth. It's seriously the worst combo you can ever have. But the worst part is, his standards are too high for who he is. He wants to date no less than a 7, but he is not good looking and has a pretty selfish and shy personality. He's the person that when I'll invite like 15 people over, with more than half are hot girls, he will hang around me and talk to me and maybe 1 or two people. The girls show him some attention because he is very shy and cute in that way, but more so because they feel sorry for him, i guess. They'll want to give him hugs, and are really friendly to him to try to break him out of his shell, but it sucks becuase they show him this attention, but would never date him.

Isn't this a ****** situation?

If we go on group dates, he's more talkative, but in that case both girls will be more into me. The_Mac_Daddy

[QUOTE="The_Mac_Daddy"] If we go on group dates, he's more talkative, but in that case both girls will be more into me. Jandurin

well I am but even if it wasn't me, I'm sure it would be the same way. Basically, I mean they aren't into him.

well I am but even if it wasn't me, I'm sure it would be the same way. Basically, I mean they aren't into him.The_Mac_Daddy

Only had around 3 or so I would actually consider a "girlfriend". The rest id define by "friends with benefits" or someone ive "casually dated." I don't like being tied down... Girlfriends are expensive, needy, and overall grossly overrated.

Just tell him that if he doesn't change his ways, he's gonna have a hard time trying to get a girlfriend. I don't mean that in a wrong way.

Me, I'm into comics, movies, and video games. A lot of girls don't find that attractive and find it nerdy and stupid. I've never come across a woman who's into what I'm into. All I see all the time, is women falling for the guys that hang out in the street all day, or who have a lot money and can buy them anything they want, or even guys that have a lot friends. I don't really have friends, I mostly have my brothers friends to whom I say "What up?" to once in a while. But mostly, it's because of the way I look to women. It doesn't make any sense, I dress very well and I have a nice personality. If a nice woman comes along with a decent attitude and wants to talk, I'm game. When I look in the mirror everyday, I see a nice lookin guy.

I've had girlfriends here and there over the years, so I have some experience if you will. The problem with those girls, was that they were two or even three years younger than me, which considered at the time would seem a little wrong I guess. My last relationship was in January of 2005. So yeah, it's been a while. It'll probably be a bit longer too.

Step one, stop treating him like a child monster. His standards are his own and he has them for whatever reason. It's genetic, not his fault. You can't force yourself into a relationship with someone you dont find attractive, never leads to a successful relationship. Some people can date less than "7" and some can't.

There are things of course, he can do himself. Become more pro-active, start working out more to have more energy during the day, buy new clothes, get a haircut, shave, etc. etc., but these are things he has to choose to do himself, someone else, other than relatives, telling him to do that would more than likely piss him off and ball-kick his self esteem into the ground.

As for his shyness, there's not much you can do about that. No doubt he'll get over it on his own once he begins his choice of career, which will force him to come out from hiding and become more social. Not all people are highly social or into clubbing, and for most that are like that, it's something that wont change. Mainly, because a lot actually choose not to participate, for whatever reason (Some have been raised in a way that they dont really enjoy that kind of environment). So really, the best thing you can do is accept him for who he is, and help him get more comfortable instead of forcing him into awkward situations he's not ready for. imo of course, take it as you will. *drops two cents into bin*

A positive attitude, fresh clothes, a hairstyle that suits him and some self-grooming goes a long way. There's this other little thing that women love, and it's called respect. Speaking as a woman, we don't appreciate when a lazy, hairy, unattractive male expects not only that we're perfect but that he fall head over heels for him by virtue of the fact that he has a penis What's wrong with a job, platonic friendships with women, some ambition etc.? It's funny, because guys who are respectful, confident and successful in their own right don't seem to have problems meeting women. There are simple solutions - because chubby, balding guys have girlfriends too, but usually not if they have a bad attitude and treat women poorly.leilamayhem

That's funny cuz I'm respectful, nice, well groomed, all that and I've had two girl friends leave me for abusive bums.... Girls don't want nice guys until they've already been knocked up and used up. Then when their tired of the bad boys, they come and expect the nice guys to take care of them and their baby.

Edit: To clarify, I am now dating a chick who was into bad guys and then got pregnant, realized the error of her ways, and left him for a nice guy, me...

[QUOTE="The_Mac_Daddy"] If we go on group dates, he's more talkative, but in that case both girls will be more into me. Jandurin

No steve jobs is the MAC daddy...:roll: hahahahha i know...someone drop kick me

[QUOTE="leilamayhem"]A positive attitude, fresh clothes, a hairstyle that suits him and some self-grooming goes a long way. There's this other little thing that women love, and it's called respect. Speaking as a woman, we don't appreciate when a lazy, hairy, unattractive male expects not only that we're perfect but that he fall head over heels for him by virtue of the fact that he has a penis What's wrong with a job, platonic friendships with women, some ambition etc.? It's funny, because guys who are respectful, confident and successful in their own right don't seem to have problems meeting women. There are simple solutions - because chubby, balding guys have girlfriends too, but usually not if they have a bad attitude and treat women poorly.Viedric

That's funny cuz I'm respectful, nice, well groomed, all that and I've had two girl friends leave me for abusive bums.... Girls don't want nice guys until they've already been knocked up and used up. Then when their tired of the bad boys, they come and expect the nice guys to take care of them and their baby.

Edit: To clarify, I am now dating a chick who was into bad guys and then got pregnant, realized the error of her ways, and left him for a nice guy, me...

Girls with low self-esteem are often attracted to abusive situations. Or women who have experienced bad relationships tend to gravitate to what they know. This type of cycle requires a lot of self-healing to get out of. As we get older and experience different situations this changes. Maturity and self-esteem means high standards.

I haven't had a girlfridend because relationships in high school are stupid. I have enough stuff to do in college to not have one. The real problem is that I would want to spoil a girl so much that I don't have the funding for it.blackngold29

Those are 3 very common ways of rationalizing the fact that you can't get a girlfriend...

I have negative girlfriends... :( Girls in general ignore me...

However, I get along well with people, so maybe the magical "non-shallowc crowd" will take me in, but I doubt it, because most people at my school judge by how drunk you get, how attractive you are and how rich you happen to be.:?

the majority of girls are **** for ex: golddiggers. a lot of women are being raised into that type of mentality.

then again, a lot of girls are just like guys: insecure and don't know what they want.

the main point. you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself

My GF right now is my first, but I have an excuse because I'm 13. We've been going out for 4 months now. :)TheHimura

so...how old were you when you joined?

[QUOTE="TheHimura"]My GF right now is my first, but I have an excuse because I'm 13. We've been going out for 4 months now. :)Hewkii

so...how old were you when you joined?

[QUOTE="TheHimura"]My GF right now is my first, but I have an excuse because I'm 13. We've been going out for 4 months now. :)Hewkii

so...how old were you when you joined?

Haha, I knew somebody would ask. I was like 11, which I know is against the rules because you have to be 13, but I didn't (and still don't) see why there's an age limit since I don't act ignorant or annoying like most kids my age...

If I get banned, whatever, but I'm just saying that I don't know why there should be an age limit for people who know how to act... mature.

Is it just me that thinks the tc sounds arrogant?batboy113

How so?

I don't get the topic. Isn't 99% of guys had zero OR a few (around 3 or4)girlfriends? quocthai

I guess I SHOULD have said "dated"... as in not just one date.. but at least a 0 to 3 people that you went on at least a few dates with.

No, I've never done that.

Primarily because the only girlfriend I had was back when I was a spineless coward, but I was a loud spineless coward and she was somehow attracted to that.

Chances are the me of now would be shunned by many women because, for the most part, I can't stand being around clingy people.

And many women are clingy.

[QUOTE="Hewkii"]

[QUOTE="TheHimura"]My GF right now is my first, but I have an excuse because I'm 13. We've been going out for 4 months now. :)TheHimura

so...how old were you when you joined?

Haha, I knew somebody would ask. I was like 11, which I know is against the rules because you have to be 13, but I didn't (and still don't) see why there's an age limit since I don't act ignorant or annoying like most kids my age...

If I get banned, whatever, but I'm just saying that I don't know why there should be an age limit for people who know how to act... mature.

If you're thirteen now they won't do anything.

[QUOTE="Hewkii"]

[QUOTE="TheHimura"]My GF right now is my first, but I have an excuse because I'm 13. We've been going out for 4 months now. :)TheHimura

so...how old were you when you joined?

Haha, I knew somebody would ask. I was like 11, which I know is against the rules because you have to be 13, but I didn't (and still don't) see why there's an age limit since I don't act ignorant or annoying like most kids my age...

If I get banned, whatever, but I'm just saying that I don't know why there should be an age limit for people who know how to act... mature.

plus tc ,you and your friend from the states?just asking.

bawathegamer

Yeah, we're from Houston, Texas in the USA.