So iv been diagnosed with Delusions ( although for the record i dont think its delusions, they are real)(of course i would say that) and i realize my delusions only happen when im around others, and they happen so severly ( i become so emotionally wrecked) that i feel suicidal. But when i go home and am by myself i settle down and dont have the urges anymore. What do i do? I go to class everyday, and since there are people all around me you would imagine the pain i go through. what do i do?
EDIT: i can explain what exactly happens around other people but it was just bring mass confusion just know the end result is that i feel so emotionally wrecked that all  ithink about is suicide.
The thing is that i have been seeing a doctor already and tried different medications and yet nothing is working. I have tried the doctor path (5 docs).
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Through dealing with my ordeal i have come to the conclusion that my problem is truly one of a kind. Truly. OR that there are people out there like me yet the number is very few.
and although they may have it they dont necessarily know they have it. The reason i know how i have it is because i went through a certain specific set of circumstances that in a way has revealed itself to me. I know this is bizare x 1 million. But believe what im saying and dont try to argue...
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iv seen around 5 docs, doctor, phsychologist, physciatrist and therapist. Did Cognitive behavior therapy and tests like EEG. they diagnosed me as delusional (pretty much i realized they diagnose this to anyone who tells them anything thats not written in their books and they dont know how to evalutate it) so i took meds for delusional. aroudn 5 meds and still nothing. so here i am.
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