Chuck Norris is popular lately for some reason....
I believe this is why:
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris can split an atom with his teeth, and then out run the resulting blast.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until they give him the information he wants.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
When a tsunami occurs, that means Chuck Norris has been swimming laps in the ocean.
The helicopter was invented after Chuck Norris was seen doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second.
Monsters look under their beds for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on because the dark is afraid of him.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity: twice.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass: At night.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up; he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch; HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris blows out his candles by blinking.
There are no disabled people; only people who have met Chuck Norris.Â
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