Are you happy?

For oral pills I am on prednisone(steroid), Dexamethasone, and misc is saline and heparin flush for my picc line. As for my chemo it's Intrathecal Methotrexate for spinal tap, pegaspargase, and Daunorubicin(makes your piss red/orange). I've had 3 blood transfusions and 2 platelets. Platelets are good so far and are increasing but I haven't had an LP in two weeks.

I had a PICC line as well, that thing was not fun getting put in and a utter pain in the ass to shower with. Had to wear this thing that kept my arm dry and made me look like Gumby. Was singing in the shower the day it was removed and have only ports from here on out. I'm also on Methotrexate (with Velban). Hate Dexamethasone, makes me climb up the walls so I forgo it most of the time.

You and I have a bit in common so I hear ya. Well, take it easy man. Seems like you're in OK spirits at least.

why

quit your job maybe it's making you feel even worse than before.

How many days do you work mate?

Not at the moment. It's just life though. You have your ups and downs.

If you want something that you don't have, then that means you're not happy with something. Why would you drop $1000 on a new computer if you're happy with the one you have now? Why would you go look for a new job if you're happy with the job you have?

Okay

@MrGeezer: I still don't understand how being happy means you are done with everything. Say I am happy with my old car but I'd like a new one. Doesn't mean I am unhappy with my old one. I find an existence were all my wildest dreams have to come true for me to be happy a sad one.

Yes

Sure it does. If there wasn't something about your old car that you're unhappy with, then there'd be no reason to get a new car.

The question is, why do you want a new car? Because your old car doesn't run so great? Because your old car doesn't look as good as the cars everyone else is driving? Because it's a little too small for your tastes and you'd like something with more room? If you want a new car, there has to be something that the new car has but the old car doesn't. Otherwise, there'd be no reason to even consider getting a new car.

I think the confusion seems to be in that you and I have different ideas of what it means to be "happy". You seem to be operating under the premise that if you can look at something and say "that's not so bad, that'll work", then you're happy with it. I'm operating under the premise that if you look at something and say, "that's not so bad, that'll work, but I want better", then you're NOT happy with it.

i dont have feelings as much as other people

@MrGeezer: I like my idea of happy a lot better than yours. I like being able to be happy even if everything doesn't always go your way. It seems that you could never be happy with your way of thinking.

No.

I'm especially not happy after my mom told me that the 88% (B+) I got on my first exam in Human Disease was a "crappy grade". My mom is having me take six credits per semester instead of twelve so I can easily shoot for As, but 88% is just two percentage points away from an A. It is by no means a crappy grade. She was going on about how I'll stand out to employers if I have all As on my transcript, which is true, but telling me that a B+ is a crappy grade and then threatening to make me take twelve credits in the future does not help my morale. It was only the first test for that class this semester, and we should both be happy I managed a B+ on the test considering the teacher just reads off the damn PowerPoint and doesn't give us study guides for the exams. My future isn't screwed because I got 88% on my first Human Disease exam instead of >90%.

Jesus Christ.

By six credits you mean you are taking two classes?

Whoops. I just pulled out my schedule to check. I'm actually taking seven credits this semester. Three classes that are two credits each and one class that's just a single credit (an easy online class-Medical Terminology).

In practical terms, there's zero difference (unless I'm misinterpreting your position). You say, "you could never be happy with your way of thinking", but how is that even a bad thing if we can't even agree on what the word "happy" means?

But that's mere semantics. The point is that people are problem-solvers who cannot achieve perfection. Much of the sense of fulfillment that people get comes from fixing things that are broken. And the second that you stop trying to fix what's broken, you inherently lose a big sense of fulfillment. To take your car analogy, that doesn't mean that you don't LIKE your old car. That doesn't mean that you don't ENJOY your old car. But if you aren't able to recognize that your car is a piece of shit in comparison to the car that you COULD have, then why would you ever buy a new car?

Same thing with life. I don't care how screwed up your life is. You could be on death row for murdering a bunch of babies, but your life could be worse and it's your right as a human being to retain whatever comfort and dignity you're still able to have. You could be a worthless crackhead who gives head behind the 7-11 in exchange for your next fix. Then the sun rises, you see a beautiful sunset, and the cool refreshing autumn wind blows by. It's your right as a human being to say, "as a human being, I find this moment to be nice and I have the right as a human being to enjoy it." What I'm saying is that, yes, that's great. But it would be BETTER if you weren't a crackhead who sucks people off behind the 7-11. That's a great moment, but it would be BETTER if there wasn't that nagging realization in the back of your mind that this moment will soon end and then you'll have to go right back to giving head in exchange for crack. And until you realize that things could be better, that things SHOULD be better, then things WON'T get better. Because you've got no incentive to change.

Maybe.

I'm just trying to live in the moment and accept what is.

Whatever the present moment contains , accept it as if you have chosen it.(Got that quote by Eckhart Tolle).

@MrGeezer: And how exactly is the problem with being perfectly happy with what you have? Yeah, maybe you don't have the incentive to make things better but why do they need to better if you're already happy? What's there beyond happy? In your case, you'll continue to struggle for bigger, faster and better, but no matter what you achieve there will always be bigger, faster and better out there, so if you're only happy by achieving EVERYTHING, you'll never be happy.

I was diagnosed with depression last September and my girlfriend helped me every step of the way, then in December it emerged I also had social anxiety. It was a hurdle, and I constantly felt guilty for putting her through it, but she kept by my side and I managed to get a place at my college and now I'm doing four A-Levels in the hopes of being a film director and it's all thanks to her for making me confident enough to believe in myself and not choose the easy way out.

However, we had a mutual breakup the other day. We love each other very much but want very different things, I'm proud of her for being so intelligent and knowing what she wants to do, and I'm proud of myself for helping her like she helped me. But it's hard, for the first time in /sixteen/ months I'm without my love and my best friend and it's a scary prospect. I'm not interested in anyone and doubt I will be for a very long time. I'm trying to stay strong and positive for her but my issues make it an uphill struggle.

So right now, I'm bordering between accepting my life how it is, and unhappiness. I was only ever happy when I was with her, didn't have the best childhood either. I hope everyone else feeling bad in this thread gets the help they need and the happiness they deserve, I wouldn't wish unhappiness on anybody.

Lol. No. I'm not. Maybe I should go get help.

Moderately happy, but hopeless for my future.

Most of the time.

Yes, I have my ups and downs. But one person makes me happy everytime I see her.

If I was happy why would I be posting on these fora?

Got a job(don't really like) but it pays the bills and it is enough to live off of and I don't really have any debts so I guess I kind of am though a job that I enjoyed would make me better

My biggest problem right now is money and my very poor health condition.

How can I be happy if I am struggling for money and my health condition is so poor?

Another problem is that I can't drive a car so my mobility and employability is pretty much limited because many jobs require you to be able to drive.

My hygiene (and my health in general) is also quite bad because I don't have enough money to afford a good hygiene.

My biggest dream in life is to become very wealthy (and healthy) but right now I don't think that any of my dreams will come true.

@-Blasphemy-: I am a girl, and i can say I'm cool and beautiful girl, but believe me - Its not worth to be unhappy or sad because of a girl ;) . Lives goes on!

Happy, no. Satisfied, no. But I'm content with my current position. Usually, nothing's as bad as it seems.

why is this site filled with basement dwelling depressed emo kids?

I'm happy now, but I spent many years depressed and lonely, fearing I'd never make it to the point in life I actually am in now. :) So... thank you for asking. =)

Im balding at 22 so no life sucks. I would be much happier if this wasn't happening to me at such a young age like I would have no problem with it if I was 40 or 50, im trying to stay positive but its kind of hard when you look at yourself everyday in the mirror. Im really debating on wether or not to shave it off.