Literally the worst story ever starring a group of rebellious prepubescent whiny teens with plot convenience issues.
User Rating: 6 | Final Fantasy Tactics (PSOne Books) PS
Lets go into detail about how big of a time sink this game is. Its somewhere between typing this review, being drop kicked into a coma by Chuck Norris and waking up 34 years later only to find that they're still making final fantasy games as pointless as this one. In reality though, if you can honestly play this game for over 60 hours- leveling you're party, leveling jobs, changing job tiers, and buying items/ upgrading weapons- You ARE A BORING BORING HUMAN BEING WHO HAS TOO MUCH FREE TIME. You must have had more free time than I did typing this up and for what? To see contrived obvious plot twist after plot twist accompanied by some of the worst translated dialog EVER until the PSP edition? So anyway if you really enjoyed the story or something I might as well break it down so I don't look like some blatantly obvious troll. So at the beginning some BIG fight goes down and you (some dude named "Ramza" who apparently has no qualms with MURDERING ANYONE IF TOLD TO DO IT) starts duking it out in the traditional boring sense of turn based anime combat style with the opposition until some dude that Ramza apparently knows comes out of nowhere- drops in and kidnaps the princess of Ivalice. Politics anyone? Their going to bring it up multiple times throughout the story and shove it in you're face like you'll honestly care about whats going on. In fact theirs going to be so much going on that doesn't make sense in the story ANYWAY- that you aren't going to care by the end of it. Moving on. So I suppose this was actually NOT the beginning of the game. Apparently it was just a point in the story that you'll actually be at later, but right now? The game hates you. So you get to level up you're pathetic party of violent bloodthirsty and murderous "nobles." Of course what you're attempting to accomplish at this point Final Fantasy tactics seems to be a little shy about telling you. Sure theirs dialog being spoken and story being revealed, but do you need to care? Only if you want to know about or even pretend to be interested in the petty squabbles and ridiculous out of character sequences that encompass this miserable drama-fest of a game. So some big war is actually on the horizon because you're main characters brother wants to start a war or whatever. Then some stuff happens, some pointless stuff happens, then some characters die that you'll never care about, BOSS FIGHT, level up, grind for job points, cue lengthy poorly translated dialog sequence and fall asleep. This is literally the whole game. Its shamelessly longer than it needs to be, its repetitive, worse than Final Fantasy VIII in terms of what-the-hell-is-going-on why-should-I-care plot sense and features the most worthless waste of time mini-quests like unlocking "Cloud" from Final Fantasy VII for no reason whatsoever. Turned based combat games are literally a bane to most sane peoples existences, so what should you do if you have the means and the intelligence to stay away from Final Fantasy Tactics? DO it. Their is no reason to touch this game, their are better told story's in a multitude of games, better combat systems that don't involve you wasting you're life for no reward, and better characters featured on Disney channel than the childish anime man-children that you're forced to give two **** about in Final Fantasy Tactics. The end.
