After More than 12 years of development, Duke Nukem Forever fails to deliver in this out-dated First Person Shooter.
Duke Nukem Forever picks up wherever the series ended last. Duke is earth's greatest hero. After saving the world from the alien apocalypse, you are now a celebrated TV, movie, and sex icon. Literally. The aliens have come back but this time they want peace, or so we are told, and the president has ordered Duke to stay out of their affairs while he forms a peace treaty between them. Of course, Duke never one to follow orders commences action upon them when he finds out they've broken into his "Man-Cave" and stolen all the women. The story never really starts or ends on high notes but it's as simple as the Aliens are back. They've taken earth's women. And it's your job to kick some ass and chew bubblegum, as Duke clearly puts it. When it's all said and done, the game ends in one of the lowest and pathetic notes that even Duke Nukem says "What kind of piece of S$%^ ending is this?" Even Duke seems to know the developers had there blind neighbors write DNF's story.
And therein lies one of Duke Nukem Forever's problems. The story, main characters, or gameplay, even, never come off as overly crude, raunchy, or humorous. The Duke Nukem series was always known for pushing the envelope with the ESRB, but don't expect much in this department at all. Duke rarely says any memorable lines and most of the time he mutters one word phrases like "douche" or "dick" which feel lazy and poorly delivered. But that's only the tip of the Ice berg, DNF's levels are poor and lack any real character. Most of the time you're platforming on some pipes, crawling in vents, or in dark caves. Everything feels"abandoned" for lack of better word. Many levels have you solely walking and jumping on some platforms and the segment is over and then comes the long-load screen for the next short and trivial moment.
Other times, however, levels seem to drag themselves out, which brings about many of DNF's shortcomings. One level has you driving Duke's four-wheeler through a bland desert with recycled brown canyons and jumps. Not once but three times you run out of gas and have to scour the immediate area for a can. Why can't you bring back more than one can? The fact that each encounter can take a while makes this segment feel over an hour long. Other times you are shrunk to size and have to fit your way in between a wall or amongst kitchen shelves to get to your next objective with annoying obstacle puzzles thrown in. Many other sections also have you performing annoying platforming, valve turning puzzles,or completing a fetch quest for a stripper. At times you'll forget you're actually playing a shooter.These pace-killing moments are littered throughout Duke Nukem Forever. The ending segments have us swimming while constantly having to catch our breath in underwater vents until finally escaping up along stairway with explosive barrels raining down upon you. Completely frustrating and non-fun game play at its finest. It's like the developers took a bunch of mediocre and dull ideas and mashed them together to finally release the game without thought.
Of course, what would a Duke Nukem game be without shooting something? But to no surprise, DNF manages to fail in the one department it should be strongest in. Instead of having the ability to wield an arsenal, you are limited to holding two weapons at a time, which is a completely dim-witted move from developers. A mechanic found in newer FPS titles is brought here to much repulsion. Why would they force us to carry only two weapons in in a game were past entries we can have every weapon at our disposal. Many of the old favorites are back such as the Freeze ray, Ripper, Pipe Bomb and Rocket Launcher along with some new alien weaponry and the Rail Gun(Basically a Sniper Rifle) Every weapon lacks impact it seems, since each shot only causes a squirt of pixelated blood to be lost from your enemies.
Enemies themselves will feel and look familiar from past games with an extra added stupid coded to their brains. They lack the ability to react to your shots. Most of the time they will allow you to simply kill them by not taking cover or walking right into your shotgun and simply dying at your feet. Some of the more hectic moments, that are lightly sprinkled in the campaign, are quite fun and weapons like the Shrink Ray are rewarding,as well as the welcomed Boss fights, but of course these are few and are lost amongst mediocrity and Stationary turret battles. Yes, the one thing from a decade ago that is brought to light is dull, long, and annoying Turret sections. Bravo, 3D Realms, Bravo.
Duke Nukem Forever did away with old Duke's numeric health/armor system and brought us Ego. Ego is layman's terms, is Duke's "shield" in the game. As you get hurt your ego drops and you must take cover and wait for it to recharge. Pretty stupid if you ask me, another new mechanic brought into an older game that simply doesn't fit with the Duke Nukem universe. Of course your Ego can gain permanent boosts as you perform some interactive, crude, or mundane tasks. This include throwing a frisbee or paper airplane, scoring a point with a basketball to tipping a stripper or participating in a "glory hole"(not lying). The interactive ones seem like they should be fun: Get a High score in pinball, pocketing all the balls in pool, or beating an opponent in air hockey, but suffer due to poor control. Trying to aim the cue ball to hit anything without scratching seems impossible and any actions done in pinball have an input delay so be prepared for frustration as you wonder why the flippers don't hit the ball in time.
For a game that's been in development for such a long time, Duke Nukem's graphics are neither impressive, or on par with current gen games. Textures lack color at times, especially outside environments, pop-in is quite frequent and animations for characters movements and faces are stiffer than beef jerky. Boss designs look boring and unoriginal and many places suffer from "too dark" or "too light" contrasts. Sound is simple at best. Many guns sound muffled as do explosions. Some old music riffs from past games make it to this game, but sound as if they ripped Duke Nukem 3D's soundtrack to a cd and copied it back onto here. The only voice work worth noted is that of Duke, but he barely says anything catchy or noteworthy. Some characters will make you cringe as they deliver there apparent "baditude" phrases and women in the game sound like yelling infant banshees. You won't miss much by playing on mute.
Since devs have already added some new annoyances to the mix, it is no surprise to see a tacked-on multiplayer component thrown in. Multiplayer supports only 8-players in 4 common modes: DM, TDM, CTF and King of the Hill. Online games play like Unreal Tournament, a twitch shooter in were you start with only a pistol and scour the maps for the power weapons to dish out the pain. When it actually works, it can be some fun.The maps offered have a nice variety with different jump points and pitfalls. But sadly, online suffers from lag which in turn make matches completely unplayable. It's horrible to not be able to pick up a gun right in front of you because the "press this button" prompt fails to show up on screen. Kills, challenges, and games won award experience which can be used to buy different things from the shop and customize the look of your character in Duke's Digs, which is a nice touch. Currently there aren't many players on, and finding a game may be impossible in the months to come.
Is this the game that Duke Nukem fans have been craving and wanting for over 12 years? not by a long shot. Duke Nukem Forever fails to encompass what we truly love about the Duke Nukem character and Universe. With Boring gameplay moments, two weapon mechanic, long load times, abundance of platforming, driving, and swimming over shooting, and genuine non-Duke feel, this game is hard to recommend for Duke Nukem or even shooter fans. The game also never pushes the envelope and all attempts to be shocking or funny end up flat and uninspired. It isn't the most horrible game I've played, but it comes close at times. Still, some slight enjoyment can be garnered from it, but don't expect Duke to save the day. Duke Nukem forever has turned an Icon into a forgotten mascot of our gaming past.