Have you ever played God of War and thought, "Hey, this game needs more manliness?" This game is your answer.
User Rating: 8.5 | Conan X360
Conan is another awesome hack-and-slash videogame. This game may not be for everyone, but I absolutely love it. In the beginning of the game, your off raiding some kind of pagan shrine, looking for treasure. Unfortunately for Conan, though, it turns out all there is to find is an evil wizard named Graven who somehow makes you end up knocked out in the ocean. After you land on shore, fight your way through a pirate camp, and watch gallons of blood spurt from your dead foes, you meet the incredibly hot warrior princess, A'Kanna. You chop your way through more pirates who have stolen the princesse's ship (the way she beefs herself up you would think she could take a few pirates herself) and free her crew members using your awesome barbarian strength (yep, this is a dude's game). After you get the ship back you have to run along the shore to defend the ship from pirates and other ships using the giant crossbows. From there you go on an epic journey to reimprison Graven and save the world. Combat is very entertaining. It strongly resembles God of War, but with more dismemberments. There are countless moves devoted specifically to lopping off body parts. My personal favorite combo: a kick to the nuts followed by a vertical slice which splits your enemy in half. You can chop off arms, legs, and of course heads. But not only does the violence make this game the bane of all parents, but there are also boobs around every corner. Conan implements topless captive girls chained to the walls of numerous hidden areas for collectibles. These "maidens" are a welcome addition to the already all-encompasing feel of overwhelming manliness created by this game. Really, is there anything more macho than a shirtless warrior cutting apart armies of demons, fighting naked sorceress snake women, and freeing topless slave girls, all without breaking a sweat? Along the way you also find a bunch of different weapons to wield from dead enemies, and there's a long list of brutal combos to unlock. All around, I think this is an awesome game, but not everyone will necesarily love it as much as I do. Also, as a final warning: do NOT buy this game if you are a girl. It is simply too manly for you to handle.
