How I Spent My Ottoman Vacation: The Travel Diary of Ezio Auditore da Firenze

Through extensive historical research, we've uncovered the totally-not-fake personal memoirs of this famed assassin's first days in Constantinople.

You know what? I think Constantinople is starting to grow on me. My opinion of it certainly couldn't have gotten any worse. Not 10 minutes after stepping off the boat, me and my new friend Yusuf were ambushed by a band of Templars. Yes, Templars. No matter how many of them I stab in the face, they just keep coming back for more. (More face stabbing, that is.)

So, about my friend Yusuf. He's kind of a hippie. Long hair, wild clothes. But he's cool. He's an assassin like me. After we took care of those Templars, he brought me along to the local assassins' headquarters to get settled. That was nice of him. Not so nice when he told me my armor was all old and worn out, and I'd need to get to a blacksmith before going off on my first mission. I couldn't afford the repairs at first--boat rides are expensive! But that problem resolved itself after I walked around the neighborhood relieving a few people of their wallets.

Look, I'm not proud of stealing. No one wants to start over in a new city only to immediately resort to your past ways, but old habits die hard. At least I'm trying to broaden my horizons here. In fact, I just learned how to use a hookblade! It's this fancy little device the local assassins use to jump across wider gaps, scurry up buildings faster, and look like a combination of spider and man that I've taken to calling…Man-Spider. You can also run up to a dude and flip right over him like a ballerina. And then stab him. Because he's not a ballerina, but actually a Templar.

After Yusuf and his buddies gave me a hookblade, I went around exploring a bit of the city. It's pretty nice! The architecture is wild. They tell me the style is called Byzantine, which I think is a fancy word for "buildings connected by awesome zip lines." Seriously, you can zip line all over the place here. Just toss your hookblade over the rope and you're careening like a madman from one roof to the other. I even figured out how to kill rooftop guards halfway through a zip line ride. Probably my second favorite kill after the ol' "Jump From a Building and Stab Two Guards at Once" trick. I still think that one needs a catchier name. I'll see what the guys think of "Flying Death Hug."

Things were going pretty well until we discovered the Templars were planning to raid the assassins' den that night. Good thing we caught wind of the plans early on, otherwise we'd have been toast. They put me in charge of the defense; told me to stand on the roof and direct all the archers and crossbowmen. It's probably because this gray beard makes me look old and wise. Growing it was the best decision I've ever made. Now, if only Leonardo da Vinci would get off his butt and finish that electric beard-trimmer schematic he promised me.

I might see if I can make a career out of zip lining when I'm done assassin-ing dudes.

Anyway, the roof. Those Templars brought a lot of troops; kept rushing down the main street in waves. I got to decide where to place the troops on the rooftops and even direct them where to build a few walls down below to slow the Templars' assault. It felt a lot different from my usual methods, but I liked it. Felt like I was defending the den from up in a tower. Like some kind of tower…defense-y…thing. Oh, I'll think of a name for it later.

Next day, the Templars were at it again. We got word they were planning to attack the Ottoman royal family at a gala in the Imperial District. Yusuf suggested that getting on the royal family's good side wouldn't be a bad idea, so we decided to sneak into the party dressed as entertainers and put a stop to things. First step was finding a few traveling minstrels. Turns out traveling minstrels don't put up much of a fight against professional assassins. But don't worry. We didn't do anything mean. Just knocked them out cold, stole their clothes, and left their naked bodies buried beneath a massive pile of hay. Probably without any air. Like I said, nothing mean.

The guards were a little suspicious of our disguises, but I distracted them with my angelic singing voice and lute plucking. Not a lot of people know what a great singer/lute player I am. It's probably my second best skill after murdering. (Third is knitting.) Anyway, we got in and managed to foil the plot to kill the sultan's son, Suleiman. Poor kid. Almost got stabbed by a Templar. But then the Templar got stabbed. In the neck. With the broken shards of my lute. You're welcome, kid.

I keep dreaming of myself as this guy. Who is he, anyways?

So now I'm doing favors for the sultan's son, trying to get on the sultan's good side and help out our little assassins guild. It's not a bad gig, and it lets me see a lot more of Constantinople than I'd otherwise have a reason to see. Life's going pretty well here. The only thing that troubles me are these dreams I've been having. Dreams where people keep calling me Altair and everyone and their mother are fighting over this magical glowing orb called The Apple. It's probably not even that delicious. I mean, give me a crisp red apple any day. But a golden apple that glows and pulses with blinding light? Now you're just asking for food poisoning.

There you have it; my first few days in Constantinople. I'm warming up to this place. I've even started investing in property, renovating shops around the city like I was doing in Rome. I could see myself settling down here. Maybe find myself a wife, have a baby, and then teach that baby how to stab Templars in the face. Ahh, I can't wait.

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Discussion

104 comments
CalmJester
CalmJester

Heh, this made me cackle. :D CHeers!

musicallie44
musicallie44

@archiasif Instead of complaining constantly I prefer to be grateful for what I have. Makes life less miserable. I don't know about you - but I don't have enough money to buy games flippantly. So yes, if they can continue to make games that are interesting and fun to play then I'll buy sequels. If they get lazy I'll stop buying their games. Simple cause and effect. p.s. - AC in Heaven? Seriously? What a wretched idea!

archiasif
archiasif

@musicallie44 dude AC 8! you can play up to AC1000 in heaven if u want to. Expect more, if you are satisfied with what you have and what you get things will never get better.

archiasif
archiasif

@musicallie44 the plot line is very deep, i almost drowned in it.

musicallie44
musicallie44

@lorddaggeroff Obviously, you haven't played enough of AC to know about the deep plot line. Every AC game develops characters and mysterious plotlines while exploring the historical background of a location. As for gameplay repetition...I love the free running and combat style that AC has developed. It's an exhilarating and fluid experience. The only other game (IMO) that has handled combat so effortlessly was Batman Arkham Asylum. My two golden rules of gaming are met in AC games: Good Storyline and Good Gameplay. When they stop producing a good product - fans who purchase the game will dwindle naturally. It will be interesting to see if they can make it to AC 8 without loss of quality content. However, at this point in time your criticism rings hollow.

rbereczki
rbereczki

That was a fun read, thanks!

mkrool
mkrool

@lorddaggeroff put it this way ever since cod 4 they have been making the same game with new maps if u ask me all fps games are startin to feel generic and campaign is always too short at least with AC they keep adding things that actually make a difference not to mention a story that is extremely interesting ok i admit the first game is bit crap but the llast 2 were master pieces and im really lookin forward to playing the conclusion of ezio and hoping AC5 is all desmond and set in modern day

Akabuu
Akabuu

@lorddaggeroff look, its not realy like that, its not the same game, it has new stuff everytime, but ill not use this cheap argument cuz i kno that the new stuff is almost nothing or/and useless junk... like those bombs -.- ... bombs aint furtive, not furtive at all! but i still dont agree with you because the games ARE diferent, u cant expect it to change EVERYTHING everytime they make a new 1, think of it like series like those that go on FOX and such, has TONS of episodes, sumtimes they are repetitive but the OVERALL series is great (when u actually enjoy it), now the difference betwen series and games series is that u spend LOTS of money (expecially if u buy it soon after its release, like me >.>) but if u think of it, u only spend like 70€ (my case) each year... (apart of the other games i buy along the year)

luketheduke324
luketheduke324

lorddaggeroff: same game+new stuff+ awesome story= must bye the story alone in AC is enough to get ur money worth. yea bioshock is doing something different, but thats just the look, i bet the overall gameplay will remain the same( and thats fine cause i love bioshock) AC will allways have something different cause its set in different time periods and locations. i just love games with historical relevance, its a lot more realistic ;)

Valas_Azuviir
Valas_Azuviir

@tomasso17 It's been mentioned that Ezio is hunting after artifacts known as the Keys of Altair. They contain specific memories, and is some ways function like a primitive form of Animus. Now seeing how Ezio is a hybrid descendent of Those that Came Before, just like Altair was, he's able to access said memories. This despite the fact that he and Altair aren't kinfolk. Now how is it possible that Ezio is already getting glimpses to Altair's memories without having gotten a single Key? Most likely he has another knickknack, which is serving like a form of compass. It's like using a bloodhound to track someone, even though weeks have passed since they went along a route. Barring rain, or scent irritants, the dog will lead you to where you want to go. This is just a more sci-fi/magical variation, so no need to worry about rain, amount of elapsed time etc etc. ;)

jediclub
jediclub

the day has finally come. we will see how far that a game can go

archiasif
archiasif

@hojo80 Dear Dude I appreciate your emotions towards Assassin's Creed, its touching and breathtaking. I am moved by the effort that you given in you comment, my hardest claps. I really admire Assassin's Creed's large continuous story arc. Its a very complex story which is unbelievably stunning. In fact I have never played a game with such good story line where you get shocked and thrilled and amazed in its every sequel. The game play is hardcore man. Some times it reminds me of my good old games. When i was a little kid i really enjoyed and wanted to play them over and over again. Its true that the developers give lot of effort and overtime in their games. In Assassin's Creed they are giving effort for a long time and the first game was released in 2007. In every sequel remodeling of those buildings in 3D reminds me of their hard efforts. And about the wallet, you are right man, these days kids will buy whatever they can lay their eyes on. You have to understand it makes them happy. So it will be unwise to spoil their fun. In fact they love their games so much that they wont even notice if you take a candy from their back pocket.

archiasif
archiasif

[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]

tomasso17
tomasso17

I just don't get something...If Ezio and Altair are not related, then how will be possible for Ezio to re-live Altair's memories in ACR?

chechak7
chechak7

ليس هناك ما هو مطلق.. فكل شيء مباح nothing is true..everything is permitted

The_Wii_Lover
The_Wii_Lover

Such a funny preview, the writer did a really good job and you could see that he worked hard to fit all the information in such a funny way. Good job and keep up the good work Gamespot, you are just making me happy for the games that are coming out but sad for my wallet :(

hojo80
hojo80

@archiasif You can't compare Assassin's Creed to Bioshock. Assassin's Creed is one large continuous story arc, taking place within a span of months (outside the animus) wouldn't make sense in terms of story to reinvent the game's mechanics because Desmond's story continues directly and deliberately with no gaps so there for Desmond's time in the animus needs to have continuity, wouldn't make any sense to change the gameplay. Bioshock Infinite isn't in the same time nor has the same characters, you can make changes without screwing with continuity in that situation. Ubisoft is going to tell this story to the end. Calling theses games expansions isn't accurate at all, expansions don't take 20-30 hours to complete, don't belittle the efforts of a quality developer and don't criticize them for not doing what you think they should. You want developers to do something different you don't write comments on a preview, vote for it with your wallet. Sales figures are the single largest factor that drive developers. Also... It could very well be 2013 before Infinite comes out, 3 years since Bioshock 2, by then Ubisoft will most likely have released another Assassin's Creed, and in that time period will have release 3 20+ hour games. Ubisoft can keep doing what they're doing

archiasif
archiasif

With this they will be releasing 4 games and like it or not they look and play the same, they are adding stuffs and the last 3s are actually expansions. every other developers are changing the entire environment and game play, for example Bioshock, they have changed their entire game in order to evolve into something more unique(hopefully). plz guys stop making expansions.

MN121MN
MN121MN

@LK_Dragonouht : I don't know, but I know that it's a new bloodline that doesn't need to be related to the Altair and Ezio (the developers already said that), so anything's possible, from WW2's veteran to Feudal Japanese ninja... But to answer, yes, there is, if you watch the developer's explanation of Desmond's bloodlines he sounded like there's a threequel coming...

LK_Dragonouht
LK_Dragonouht

i just have a question,is the next game going to be assassin's creed 3?

k0k066
k0k066

@Jakmar12 in 2012 there will be the end of Desmond story a director of the game said "history is our playground the AC series won't end after Desmond"

ajleo
ajleo

nothing is true..everything is permitted!!!

Jtm371
Jtm371

I like how people act like they know everything that Ubisoft is going to do with this game series. "oh, yeah I know this because I read a blog from a guy that heard from one of his friends that read another blog that this is going to happen. I don't really think you can rule anything out right now, so lets stop acting like we know everything and just wait and see...kbye!

super_rider
super_rider

both assassin's creed game and ezio's story are a trilogy, ezio's story lines are divided into 2.1,2.2,2.3 ...The next game which is due to be released on 2012 will be the last assassin's creed game !!!

Psycho2019
Psycho2019

people who think the article was not funny........GEEKS!!

FlameAlchmist88
FlameAlchmist88

@JakMar12 Ubisoft mentioned when this game was announced that the story of Altair and Ezio would be a trilogy, not the Assassin's Creed Series itself. They said the Revelations was being made to comclude this story so that they could possibly focus on new characters (whether they move from Desmond to a different person they didn't say). I don't think we can rule out a new set of games after Revelations is out.

Psycho2019
Psycho2019

The funniest gaming article i hv ever read!! :D

JakMar12
JakMar12

Some people are saying that there will be plenty of assassins creed games in future years, but they HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT! In the games, the reason Desmond looks into the memories of his ancestors is so they can save the world from 2012. But once twenty twelve happens, there is no need for them to look to his ancestors since it will have happened in real life. Also, Ubisoft confirmed that it will be a trilogy. That means only one more game.

Valas_Azuviir
Valas_Azuviir

@Majes7ik Well, the user sidspyker has managed to prove you wrong. A little something he put together: http://www.imgftw.net/img//823266273.gif Anyway, what is meant with the projection is that the similarities with Desmond are extra highlighted. So even with Ezio being older there will still be similarities. Desmond is a descendent of his after all. Same with Altair and Desmond. And there is no if with regards to Altair and Ezio not being related. Devs have said so. Word of God and all that jazz. As for it not being technical, obviously the tech in AC1 wasn't as advanced as the current version that they're using. So it's quite probable, that the facial similarities are simply due to earlier engine restrictions. But as the engine progresses they can add more and more individual tweaks to make folks look different, yet still maintain a similar look to Desmond to maintain the whole he's a Descendent of X routine that they're going for.

eerkkisa
eerkkisa

Also LMFAO at "Seriously, you can zip line all over the place here. Just toss your hookblade over the rope and you're careening like a madman from one roof to the other. I even figured out how to kill rooftop guards halfway through a zip line ride. Probably my second favorite kill after the ol' "Jump From a Building and Stab Two Guards at Once" trick. I still think that one needs a catchier name. I'll see what the guys think of "Flying Death Hug.""

eerkkisa
eerkkisa

LMFAO at "I could see myself settling down here. Maybe find myself a wife, have a baby, and then teach that baby how to stab Templars in the face. Ahh, I can't wait." xD I lol'ed so hard...

csd3535
csd3535

this may be the best assassin creed of the series ....hope so =))

khoofia_pika
khoofia_pika

Who cares about how the article was written? This game looks great, that's the gist of it.

Majes7ik
Majes7ik

@Valas_Azuviir Your assumpotion is some what wrong I'm afraid, think about when in AC 2 ezio got scared on the lip, before that he sisnt have it (oobviously) even though desmond had it already further more ezio is now older than desmond and by your assumption he should still have the same face, dont know why all three have different faces if altair and ezioa r enot related but its not technical, at least thats what i think

the_requiem
the_requiem

Good idea ruined by tone. Would've worked better if it were written like a not-fake memoir. Surprisingly, looks like many found this funny, but then, people love Jersey Shore too and think THAT is funny.

prince__vlad
prince__vlad

do you think this was funny ? are you out of your minds pal ?

Lord_Tulak_Hord
Lord_Tulak_Hord

This is a funny and informative article. Thanks Shaun.

NicoLikesSoda
NicoLikesSoda

They should make an assassins creed that takes place in France eventually

Wolf-5
Wolf-5

That was informative. I also thought it was all one bloodline. But their reasoning makes sense. :)

neoteny
neoteny

this game just needs to hurry up and come out already.

Hairygrim
Hairygrim

"Not a lot of people know what a great singer/lute player I am. It's probably my second best skill after murdering. (Third is knitting.)" See, Maria? Plenty of outlets...ahem.

lilflex1
lilflex1

i could see everything he typed it was like i was playing the game

Supastooge
Supastooge

I love reading Shaun's articles because he cracks me up more then I enjoy reading about the game.

Jaceric
Jaceric

wow just amazing writing Shaun ! reallly well written! and you got in a few laughs aswell. good job sir !

true_gamer007
true_gamer007

there's a lot to be revealed in Revelations especially about the Altair-Ezio-Desmond connection.

DorisTheDragon
DorisTheDragon

Man-spider! Jeez Ezio, that's so clever, they should right a comic about it.

Valas_Azuviir
Valas_Azuviir

@amaan4ever It's because Desmond's face is being projected over theirs. That's the in-universe reason. The explanation from our side of the fence would be technical limitations most likely. @nickystarkers Probably has a knickknack of Altair, that's guiding him around. After all, he's hunting for the Keys of Altair as well, and they contain whole memories within them. Almost like an Animus, I think it's been described as.

xsonicchaos
xsonicchaos

i'm not very proud either about Ezio not being Altair's descendant. many things are just too obviously pointing towards the fact that Ezio is Maria and Altair's son. am i getting wrong ideas out of this or what?

Aiberg
Aiberg

You're such an Ottoman Empire's Sultan's pet :D