Stuck Inside The Fence of "What the Hell is This Crap?"
With GTA V on the horizon I'm trying to figure out what to do with my roommates PS3 until then. The Bureau hit the shelves so I figured why not? Why not just pop that baby in and give it a whirl. I heard the last XCOM game was good so this one must be good too....Right?
The 1960's. A time when everything looked like the Mad Men television show. Men in suits, Russia is the devil, women are looking to get it, and everybody is smoking cigarettes. You play as some shmuck who wears a fedora and walks around like he's Steve McQueen. All he needs is a motorcycle and he'd be Steve McQueen. So let's call him Steve. Steve is doing his business when some hot Alien chick ruins his day and shoots him in the shoulder (There goes his chance pitching for the Boston Red Sox). He passes out shortly after and wakes up to find his wound magically healed. How nice. Meawhile outside baby aliens have shown up running around in their diapers.
Controls are slow. When you go to move Steve around its like your trudging through some invisible sludge. The air is really dense or something. Besides the typical moving and shooting and finding cover, XCOM throws strategy at your chubby face. The gamer has the ability to control allies by repositioning them and deciding on what action they should take. Shoot, stay, play dead, give Steve a body massage.
Explosions go BAM, guns go POW, footsteps go CLICK CLICK. The graphics are different shades of gray, the audio is cheap. Combat is unsatisfying and playing The Bureau will remind you of your daily chores. The only thing different is you won't get paid to play it every week.