Futuristic sports have never looked so grim.

User Rating: 3.5 | Super Linear Ball SNES
I've seem some weird concepts that barely grasp a corner of the tile of reality, but Space Football's grasp on reality doesn't even try. In the future, or in some time period where there is a competitive sport involving vehicles and weird custom built playing fields, there is Space Football. This game makes little sense and even if you managed to look past the weird and practically non-existent premise, you'll just find a game that is confusing and may make you fall asleep when playing.

Ok so here's how it works. Two people face off in an arena, their objectives are too grab a ball, using some electro-magnetic doohickey attached to the front of their hovercars, and drop it in the opponents 'end-zone'. It's all seen from 'first-person' from the pilots' perspective in the cockpit of the hovercar. Sure it sounds simple, basically drag-and-drop, but grabbing the ball is frustratingly difficult and the arenas are littered with elements that make driving impossible. There are so many conveyor belts, teleporters and other annoying moving elements that going in a straight line is a task upon itself. To make matters worse your opponent will be shooting non-lethal energy shots at you in order to knock the ball out of your grasp. Both vehicles have unlimited ammunition as well. The whole game is just one huge cluster of random crap sewn together with soggy strings, because it all falls apart the instant you start playing and you're left with a pile of several broken mechanics none of which have any redeeming factors.

The controls are not unresponsive, but the game feels like it's doing it's own thing at times. Sometimes simply steering around won't work, even when you know you're not on some rotating platform or something. Energy shot hit detection is spotty and when both players ram into each other anything can happen. They'll sometimes just go through each other, or they'll violently bounce off each other, or they'll turn into magical unicorns that speak German, nothing makes sense in this game.

Graphics are 'impressive' because they are in 3D and 3D on the SNES is amazing. But everything is so pixilated and it's impossible to tell what something is until you are right on top of it. Also you have a limited view and playing splitscreen is a nightmare. The music, hell I was too busy trying to figure what the hell was going on to even notice any music. But my ears didn't bleed from it so it's tolerable at the least.

If you see this game in a clearance bin for 20 cents it's not even worth picking up. There is no novelty in playing this futuristic sport game and if this is what sports are like in the future, we're in big trouble.