Sonic Team is on an upway pattern at least, but that's not saying much.

User Rating: 4 | Sonic Generations X360
Boros here to take you on a nostalgia trip through Sonic's "greatest" levels in Sonic Generations. When I think about it, it's weird how much Sonic has fallen in the past 10 years. Sonic Adventure 2 was a very fun game, and the best Sonic game. Then Shadow the Hedgehog, and Sonic Heroes came out. While not bad games, there were bad things about them, and they signaled the downfall of Sonic. Then, Sonic 06 came out, and is the unholy abonination of hell. Sonic Colors was next, and apparently an attempt to top how bad Sonic 06 was. Now, we have Sonic Generations, which is the signal that Sonic Team has officially stopped giving a s#!t about what they release. Just as long as it translates into a big thick pile of money. To prove my point, let's take a closer look.

The story is "It's Sonic's birthday!"...Subtle plug... All of Sonic's friends are throwing him a party, when a shadowy version of R. O. B. attacks and messes up everything, then destroys time, and space... Ignoring the fact that one timeline busted already, then it's up to Sonic and the old Sonic to save everybody. Why hasn't time in Sonic's world just decided to implode on itself already? With as much as these people reset and erase time, I'm suprised something hasn't happened that durastically changed everything. As with a lot of the games I've played lately, the story is a pile, but people forgive it because that's not what they're there for. Most of the time, I just forget it and move on because if the gameplay is nice, I can forgive the s#!tty story, but the story is so bad here that I just can't.

Ok, in the first scene of the game, the shadow form of the purple people eater vacuums up all of Sonic's friends, then leaves Sonic to pursue it... Why did it leave Sonic? Especially when you find out exactly what it is, then that really makes no sence. SPOILER ALERT: It turns out that the robot version of Mephilis and the Hulk's gay love child is Eggman and Dr. Robotnik piloting a ...robot supercharged with a living black hole with time eating properties. God, that sounded just as stupid as I thought it would. Anyway, Eggman found this space anomoly as he was floating around in space after Sonic Colors which technically makes this a sequel. However, he needed his past self to help him build the robot to harness the energy, because he couldn't figure it out by himself. What Eggman wanted to do was erase all of his past defeats so he could take over the world, so Eggman was behind it the whole time... So why in the HELL did Eggman not suck up Sonic as well? If fact, he had the chance to, because Sonic charged the robot, so why did he not just take Sonic then? Was it the same reason Bowser doesn't try to kill Mario, in that he just wants a challenge? I don't know. All I know is that this story is ass. SPOILER OVER

There are lots of other things, too, like the inconsistancy with Blaze. She's supposedly the one from the future in this game, as much as that alone pisses me off, but in her bio in the same damned game, it says she's from another dimension and is the guardian of the Sol Emeralds... Consistancy? What's that? Also, Shadow seems to be the one from Sonic Adventure 2, and doesn't know who Sonic is, AT FIRST. Then he's there at the end cheering you on like all of the others seemingly forgetting that he still worked for Eggman at that time... Agian: Consistancy? What's that? It might be a different Shadow, but then why does he say "This is when I finish you, Sonic." which is simular to the way he spoke when he still worked for Eggman. By the way, what the hell is team Chaotix doing there? It seems out of place a little bit, because it's Sonic's birthday. Why would Chaotix care at all? They never did before, nor seemed like they would, so why?

Speaking of things that don't belong, this is supposed to be a celebration of Sonic's greatest moments, correct? Then tell me, WHY THE F@%K IS CRYSIS CITY IN THIS???? That wasn't one of Sonic's greatest moments, that was his biggest blunder. Silver and Charmy are also in this game, which are Sonic's worst characters, so why are we supposed to be celebrating this? Nobody likes Sonic 06 or Charmy, and Sonic Team knows this, so why remind us of them.

There's another problem, as well, and that's the voice acting. It's all weird, and most of it is bad. Silver and Charmy are always annoying, so let's forget that, but Rouge... Oh, Rouge... They made her voice some kind of blonde bimbo sounding woman, but give her some credit, at least it's not "ahhh!" bad.

Speaking of that, there are challenge stages in the game where you can have certain characters assist you... You don't play as them, they assist Sonic throughout a level, and all of them suck. The reason is that they don't do much. Rouge has basically been reduced to a booby gun. You push the button then Rouge flys out in front and shoots hearts out of her breasts to stun enemies. Knuckles suffered a simular fate, being reduced to a metal detector. Blaze is a fire extinguisher, and Espio plays hide and seek with you. It seems like all of the characters took it in the ass.

Ok, that finally leads us to the gameplay, and it's ok, I guess. Big Sonic's gameplay is very simular to Sonic Colors, switching between 3D and 2D, and being very linear, but not as linear as Colors. It's much closer to what I like than Colors, but the controls are ass. If it takes me 5 minutes to collect an extra life that I'm right beside, then the controls are ass. Agian, it's the Sonic Colors problem of off acceleration. It feels like controlling a car on foot. Little Sonic has traditional Sonic 2D platforming which I never liked, and this is no exception. Not even new generation can make me like the old Sonic games. All in all, it's an improvement, but it's still not good.

To sum up, there is very little to play this game for. There are a few good funny lines that come from Eggman, and there's a cute little joke that has a missing poster for Mighty and some other character which are both dead characters, but there's a TON of s#!t to sit through to get to that. Sonic Generations still crap. I know a diehard Sonic fan that told me that his hope for another good Sonic game was crushed by this game. There is no more hope for him. In a final analysis, though, it's better than Sonic Colors, and Sonic Team is apparently on an uptrack at least, but it's not worth picking up. The game, excluding the company's past, is s#!t, and that's all there is to it.