Mario Galaxy crossed with Sonic, and added a stupid story, and you get s#1t.
Also, the gameplay is terrible. It's so damned linear, that it's restrictive, and the control feels stiff and unnatural. Sonic reacts a quarter of a second late, and doesn't seem to accelerate properly. He accelerates a little too fast, so simply exploring becomes impossible, because he's moving too fast to smell the roses every once in a while. I love speed. If I didn't, I wouldn't still be playing these f@%king games, but sometimes, I like to be able to stop and appreciate the atmosphere. It honestly reminds me of Sonic Adventure DX, and it's the same problem there.
Also, the difficulty usually comes not from epic fights, or intense platforming, but stupid, gimmicky bulls#1t. Like the floating spring levels that were so frustrating, that it took everything I had not to hurl the controller into the TV, and strangle myself to death, just because turning the game off wouldn't do it justice. If you haven't figured it out, running fast doesn't seem to be the main thing here, it's tight platforming that's better suited to a Mario game. More specifically, Super Mario Galaxy because this game shamelessly rip it off with about as much compassion as a crowbar would be to a knee cap. Seriously, even the green pipes make an apperance, and there's a power up where you can fly for a while, and they are fully aware of what they were doing, but I'll get to that horses#1t in a minute. First, I'll say that good Sonic platform are ones where the platforms are spread out and speed is needed to hop the gaps, but this is where they're close together, and with Sonic's strange platforming, this is a recipe for complete disaster.
On the other hand, the bosses are too easy. Two hits and dead, and sometimes they aren't even hard to hit. Also, I feel I need to talk about something that ended up bothering me to the point of destroying the disk.
When you beat a level, there's a little minigame which controls the same as the regular game, and it involves destroying the numbers in your score and sometime they drop 1-ups, which you'll need for the gimmicky bulls#1t. The Z button in the game uses power ups, so when I ended the level with the power up, thinking I still had it, I pushed the Z button, but in the mini-game, the Z button restarts the level, so I accidentaly restarted it, and I DEFINITALY didn't want to go through it agian, so I pause and select quit, just to find out that the game doesn't save it that you beat the level the first time, and you have to start the whole f@%king level agian.
I then decided that I would probably not be able to finish it without a bloody suicide, so I watched a friend play the last world, and saw the whole story all the way through. Speaking of witch, lets talk about the story, shall we? This story is complete donkey spunk, mixed with roadkilled skunk, and some fresh elephant diarhea.
WARNING: I'm going to spoil a little bit of the plot, because I can't ridicule as well, otherwise. If you don't want to know just skip this part of the review. Remember when I wrote about that they knew what they were doing? Well, one of these dreadful cutscenes has Sonic quoted, "There is no copyright law that's going to stop me!" Let's just forget how stupid that is for a second, and look at the dialog of Eggman before that. "All things, as far as you know, are property of Eggman industries." It's a joke that everyone's in on, except the players. There's also a really bad 4th wall joke. "I'll just call them aliens if everyone's ok with that." Quite frankly, no, Sonic, no, I am not. In fact, don't say another f@%king word.
In case you haven't figured it out, Sonic is by far the worst character in this game. He is always cracking jokes, and basically being a pure ass. He's wise cracking in the other games, but it was downplayed a little, and he knew how to act like a grown up when the situation called for it. But in this game, he never grows up or acts mature in the least bit. There's even a bit when Tails gets mind controlled by Eggman, but Sonic doesn't even seem conserned, because he just wants to get at Eggman. To the story's credit, Eggman does deliver some funny lines, but most of it is just garbage.
Sonic used to be able to utilize a good story, and make it effective. Just because Sonic 06 botched it up doesn't mean you have to give it up, but no, Colors just seemed to have stopped trying at all, and every line is said like you're watching a really old cheesy cartoon with a villian that's just ineffective. My proof is towards the end of the game, all hell is breaking loose, the floor Sonic is standing on is disintegrating, and the Wisps (aliens) are freaking out. Sonic then says, "The ground is shaking, and the aliens are freaking out. I think I'd be worried, too." in that same smug tone he'd been using throughout the game, and has a voice acter that make me want to choke the actor with my herniated eardrums. Tails then tells Sonic it's not joke time right now, it's escape time. Which means that the kid fox is much more mature than the teenage hedgehog.
Basically, I had a problem with every cut scene because either something didn't make sence or it was just painful. Basically, with music, and graphics ripped off from Mario Galaxy, gameplay that should have been a Mario game, and an atrotious plot, Sonic Colors is such a bad gaming experience that I'd rather staple my cockhole shut, using 50 staples. Miss it!