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Review

Revelations 2012 Review

  • First Released Apr 23, 2012
    released
  • Reviewed May 4, 2012
  • PC

Revelations 2012 is garbage, and you shouldn't play it.

The end of the world has arrived, and things are looking grim.

Ancient Mayans swarm sacred temples, running up and down walls as if the laws of gravity have been repealed. Boulders pop into existence and fall to the ground, squishing you underneath. Your friends fall down shafts to their deaths, as they have somehow become incapable of using ladders. These and other horrors await you in Revelations 2012, an incompetent co-op shooter that tries to ape Left 4 Dead but gets almost nothing right. If this ridiculous game actually represents the near future, we might as well just give up now.

The incompetence begins with the cooperative campaigns. You join up to three others to fight your way through hordes of natives in loincloths and witches zapping you with magical green plasma. In the likely event you don't find anyone to play with, AI cronies fill in. But these computer-controlled morons have apparently lost their brains in the Mayan apocalypse and are incapable of behaving in any sensible manner. They can't pick up the healing or ammo items enemies drop on the ground. They can't use secondary fire, are unaware of deadly booby traps, and sometimes stand around doing nothing. Even on easy difficulty, you might be unable to get past the second of five campaigns: the AI easily gives up the ghost, and you end up fighting a miniboss that renders you unable to move and shoot with every ground pound.

You might be lucky enough to have friends who have a billion more brain cells than these cretins, but they won't remain friends for long if you force them to wade through this mess. Everyone gets the same mystic weapon that can morph into different forms: magical sniper rifle, magical peashooter, and magical shotgun. But regardless of what form you use, there's no sense of power. The audio is atrocious: water pistols sound more powerful than your weapon's mild peeps and clicks. When you kill foes, their skin melts away and their skeletons dissipate, which is a neat little effect. Another nice touch: sometimes your enemies lose limbs and pull their legless torsos along. But there are no animations to indicate impact; you just fire piddly lasers or swipe at your attackers until they fall down dead.

You encounter dozens and dozens of ancient dudes as you roam about slapdash environments that have no sense of design or pacing. You run around looking for levers to activate, grab some skulls, encounter a final boss, and everything is done. And every moment is laughably bad. The tribal hordes behave in the oddest ways. They climb up poles and columns for no apparent reason, defying physics as we understand them. They jump on top of swinging traps and get deposited on an AI companion's head. They even fall from above and get stuck midair, their legs treading ceaselessly as if in contact with the ground.

Nothing says 'Mayan Apocalypse' better than Arial font.
Nothing says 'Mayan Apocalypse' better than Arial font.

The "gotcha" traps are insane. A boulder rolls down a hill from behind, or a spiked log suddenly swings toward you, but there is no audiovisual cue indicating such an occurrence is possible. A dense field makes it impossible to see what you're shooting at. In one area, you navigate a trap of spears that move to and fro, but the spears aren't spaced or timed properly, and are not collision-enabled; it's impossible to get through undamaged. You deal with a set of rising and falling columns immediately afterward, where another legion attacks you in a dramatically tiny space. It's all so depressingly horrible.

All the while, your companions spout occasional quips, Left 4 Dead style, but have no discernible personalities aside from "obnoxious twerp," and have nothing interesting to say. (Endless profanity doesn't make for fascinating characters.) There isn't even anything interesting to look at in all this mess. You move from boring tan corridors to jungle clearings with low-polygon bushes. Light sources are static, textures are low resolution, and shadows are often nonexistent. There's no sense of art direction. Trees, statues, and sad brown flowers look randomly placed, as if someone just threw these objects into the level without any consideration of an overall aesthetic.

Revelations 2012 doesn't skimp on content, with five campaigns of multiple levels each, and several competitive modes, though your chances of finding a competitive match are even lower than finding a cooperative one. One of these modes could have been great: Battlegrounds. Conceptually, it's a mix of first-person shooter, real-time strategy, and online battle arena. Players on each of two teams must take down defensive towers as they push toward the opposing team's base and face a final boss. But they also command respawning minions, ordering them to battle opposing forces and defend key areas.

Ancient witch doctors could apparently cause boulders to drop from solid ceilings.
Ancient witch doctors could apparently cause boulders to drop from solid ceilings.

It's a cool idea utterly destroyed by execution problems. Minions get stuck trying to cross bridges and won't move. On one map, you use glowing portals to teleport into your enemy's base, but huge minion collisions can turn the battle into a horrible joke. But hey--if you get bored during the resulting stalemates on this map, you can also hit a key and watch your character dance a dumb jig from a third-person perspective. Heck, you can even shoot stuff while you do it, all while your own avatar performs animations that have nothing to do with shooting.

Perhaps Revelations 2012 is a sign of the times. If so, pray hard to the deity of your choice, because the end is nigh. Whatever you do, don't waste your precious last moments playing this horrendous shooter.

Back To Top
The Good
A competitive mode with real potential
The Bad
Abysmal, random combat scenarios with no sense of actual design
Rotten friendly AI with suicidal tendencies
Shooting lacks impact
Weird enemy behavior that defies the laws of physics
Horrible implementation of booby traps
1.5
Abysmal
About GameSpot's Reviews

About the Author

Kevin VanOrd has a cat named Ollie who refuses to play bass in Rock Band.
273 Comments  RefreshSorted By 
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Avatar image for lamitb
lamitb

Worst shit eva !!!


Avatar image for squeak1213
squeak1213

Ok so I once new the person who created this company and game. I knew long ago he was gonna be a success. I thought it was a good game but everyone is entitled to an opinion. however its not right to say rude things about someone that actually made something with himself. Also sometimes we all need help from out families to get started. Who better to employ then your family

Avatar image for 5529319
5529319

Do I count myself a masochist if this is probably the thousandth time I'm reading this review and also watching the review?

Avatar image for erikwibowo
erikwibowo

i respect the reviewer for their honest score. Keep up the good work guys! that's the reason why we all here. -to know which game we should buy

Avatar image for dlobo
dlobo

Poll: What would you rather play this or the street cleaner simulator?

Avatar image for mmsd12
mmsd12

@dlobo street cleaner was cool,,,,,,,,you got upgraded sweepers that really added a new level to it and there is no better feeling then a job well done

Avatar image for IamNick2k11
IamNick2k11

@dlobo Street cleaner still holds the crown as GOTD IMHO

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100proofsoco

so dude basically started a "video game company" and employed his whole family. Nay.

Avatar image for ggregd
ggregd

@100proofsoco

Half the people who were listed there last Friday are gone. I feel kinda bad for them, I even removed my sarcastic review. This is why you should never say "Anyone could make a better game than that!" This is what happens when "anyone" tries.

Avatar image for weedman1985
weedman1985

@ggregd That is until you realize they bribed people to give them good scores - http://validgaming.com/revelations-2012/

The reviewer practically admits it, right there.

Avatar image for Succumbus
Succumbus

@weedman1985 I'm surprised that review is still up. They caught so much flack for that.

Pretty sure valid gaming either got paid to do the review or felt so bad about going up there and seeing how bad a game it was, so they cut Dark Artz some slack.

I hope Dark Artz can pull out of this and learn from all their mistakes. hah

Avatar image for ecurl143
ecurl143

From what I'm hearing, this game will go down in infamy for all the wrong reasons.

Just goes to show that you just can't bypass the entire QA process, which is obviously what happened here.

Avatar image for AQWBlaZer91
AQWBlaZer91

Yep no doubt the worst game for the PC yet.

Avatar image for mmsd12
mmsd12

@AQWBlaZer91 nope that award goes to dark souls......why? because is not out on pc yet

Avatar image for AQWBlaZer91
AQWBlaZer91

@mmsd12 Why would you give that award to a PC game that isn't released yet? Besides this Revelations 2012 looks like the worst game released on PC yet.

Avatar image for otanikun
otanikun

I watched 50 seconds of the gameplay video and called it quits, I don't even have to play the game to know it's terrible.

Avatar image for vadagar1
vadagar1

lol love the players that gave it 10

thats even more horrible than giving it a 1

I know they are being funny :P

Avatar image for xDeadP00lx
xDeadP00lx

Wait, wait, wait, WAIT a minute here. Several people have posted their link: http://www.darkartzentertainment.com/about/, then people have vehemently defended them. I get all that, and don't knock any of the people, as they've done more than I ever could creating a game (even this load of fail). HOWEVER, did --ANYONE-- get this? WHY would this guy be head of the art design?! "Kenny Dyal/Lead Creative Artist - Kenny is a self-proclaimed non-gamer, but enjoys the occasional sports video game." Just what I want for my video game company and in charge of all the art, someone who's a non-gamer, and his resume includes Madden and NHL '08, casual at that. Sweet mercy. I think it's time for some talent search.

Avatar image for xDeadP00lx
xDeadP00lx

Also on their website, they have an official trailer, and they misspelled "apocalypse" as "apocolypse". REALLY? Must be that Devry edjucashun.

Avatar image for Iridescent406
Iridescent406

It's a good thing that those 10/10 user reviews claiming the game is a masterpiece certainly aren't getting old or stale...

Oh wait, yeah they are.

Avatar image for Hernilious
Hernilious

Their website is pretty hilarious. http://www.darkartzentertainment.com/about/ The last guy cracks me up every time. YOU GO, DAN!

Avatar image for PCXboxSony
PCXboxSony

LOL. 1.5 !

Avatar image for joe__leaban1223
joe__leaban1223

THIS IS SO.............................. NOT COOL ITS LIKE DUKE NUKEM THATS HAVE BEEN MADE EVEN BADDER WELL DUKE NUKEM IS GOOD COMPARED TO THIS!!!!!!!!!!

Avatar image for AQWBlaZer91
AQWBlaZer91

@joe__leaban1223 It's like Duke Nukum Forever meets Left 4 Dead, but only it's complete s**t.

Avatar image for FamousGrouse
FamousGrouse

I'm only givin it a 9.5 because it doesn't have a Zombie mode

Avatar image for DoubleclickTF
DoubleclickTF

@FamousGrouse Actually it does, you just haven't seen the other levels yet

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Rottenwood

I love how the title threatens a Revelations 2013 - can't wait!

Avatar image for NightFox313
NightFox313

Imagine what kind of game would come out if the developers of Revelations 2012, Big Rigs, and Street Cleaning Simulator teamed up.

Avatar image for xDeadP00lx
xDeadP00lx

@NightFox313 Revelation Rig Cleaner 2013?

Avatar image for ironfoxgamer
ironfoxgamer

Check out the user reviews in the name of god

http://asia.gamespot.com/revelations-2012/user-reviews/793319/

Avatar image for CyberLips
CyberLips

@ironfoxgamer AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! oh God this is hilarious!! amazing how it changed the lives of so many gamers!! XD

Avatar image for ironfoxgamer
ironfoxgamer

OMG, check out all the User Reviews and laugh....http://asia.gamespot.com/revelations-2012/user-reviews/793319/

Avatar image for deactivated-5c79c3cfce222

Clicked play on the video and scrolled down to continue reading.

1:04-1:30What the hell am I listening to?

Avatar image for Nate2k234
Nate2k234

I give your review a .5, you ain't got no taste.

Avatar image for Nate2k234
Nate2k234

Sure beats anything EA is making these days

Avatar image for Nate2k234
Nate2k234

Defi

Avatar image for Kabals
Kabals

@Succumbus Please post your picture and then your occupation and we'll make the same ridiculous statements about you. Cool?

Avatar image for dalua360
dalua360

Do you want to laugh? Check their website!

http://www.darkartzentertainment.com/about/

Avatar image for Kabals
Kabals

@dalua360 What is so funny? That people who lost their jobs got off their collective butts and tried something outside the box?

Avatar image for Succumbus
Succumbus

@Kabals How, in any way, is this outside the box? It's completely UNoriginal. It's not innovative, which is what you are trying to defend them with.

Don't be ignorant. This is unoriginal and unimaginative. I do feel bad for the people who worked on this, but they need a different art direction and art director.

Avatar image for Lithare
Lithare

@arvuti12 Why are the people off limits? Just because someone works really hard on a pile of crap doesn't mean someone shouldn't call to their attention that it's a pile of crap. And that they look goofy on their website. Nothing wrong with goofy. But they do look goofy.

Avatar image for arvuti12
arvuti12

@Succumbus Frankly to be honest, if you are going to make fun of a game then sure do that but don't make fun of the people. The game is awful, but the people did work hard on it. It's just an example of people who have no experience trying to do an ambitious project and failing pretty miserably.

Avatar image for barrel224
barrel224

I feel terrible for the person that was asked to play and then review this game. Kevin, my heart goes out to you and your team. WOMP!

Avatar image for ggregd
ggregd

This game WISHES it'll be thrown in the gutter where the Street Cleaning Simulator will sweep it up.

Avatar image for xDeadP00lx
xDeadP00lx

@ggregd It was hard to "hear" what's going on over the Logging Simulator I'm playing!

Avatar image for barrel224
barrel224

@ggregd This comment just made my night

Avatar image for NYSailorScout
NYSailorScout

Revelations 2012, there is a landfill in New Mexico with your name on it.

P.S. Damn it, how do I bury a download!...

Avatar image for theCCyberDDemon
theCCyberDDemon

In the hall of the abysmal first person shooters, Land of the Dead stays on first while Legendary goes on second and this Revelations are following with the third place. Could be great, but they are not. Decadency is the word. If you are small, there is no way to create a good fps, like the old times.

Avatar image for NYSailorScout
NYSailorScout

@q-bert39 I hope that you are not from the EU and saying that!

Revelations 2012 More Info

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  • First Released Apr 23, 2012
    released
    • PC
    3.8
    Average Rating198 Rating(s)
    Please Sign In to rate Revelations 2012
    Developed by:
    Dark Artz Entertainment
    Published by:
    Dark Artz Entertainment
    Genre(s):
    Action, First-Person, Shooter, 3D