Since debuting a few years back on the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim programming block, Aqua Teen Hunger Force--an oddball animated series about a trio of fast-food items who have adventures with assorted aliens, monsters, and robots, all in the comfort of their suburban neighborhood--has taken the world by storm. And with such popularity always comes the obligatory licensed cash-in game. In this case, it's Aqua Teen Hunger Force Destruct-O-Thon for mobile phones. This game is the very picture of a lackluster effort, consisting of repetitive, poorly conceived gameplay that relies almost entirely on chance, rather than actual challenge, and an utterly inadequate use of the license itself, as quite literally any characters from any show could have been transplanted into it with a similar level of success.
The setup for Destruct-O-Thon is extremely simple. You pick one of the three members of the Hunger Force--Master Shake, Meatwad, or Frylock--and then choose one of the 16 levels in the game (though, obviously, only unlocked levels will be available to you). You'll then find yourself on the trio's suburban street, with a small meter appearing overhead. This is a momentum meter, and on it, a small bar moves back and forth. Your goal is to rhythmically hit the 5 key on your phone when the bar reaches the middle of the meter to build your momentum. As you do so, your character will start running faster and faster. Then, you'll get to an object sitting in the middle of the road. These objects can range from a piece of dynamite to one of the infamous Mooninites. When you reach the object, an angle meter will appear near the bottom of the screen. This meter determines the angle at which you will send this object flying when you run into it. You'll press the 5 key again to set the angle, your character will smack the object, and the object will take flight. If you're waiting for us to get to the exciting part, you might as well just stop reading now.
Most of the time, you'll just be trying to hit whatever object is in front of you as far as you can, though there are some slight variations. For instance, a couple of levels want you to blow up the car of the trio's neighbor, Carl. To do this, you'll have to hit a piece of dynamite and nail the car, which sits at a specific distance. Additionally, you'll have to hit a patch of fire that sits near the car to light the dynamite. Sounds complicated, right? Well, not so much, actually. In truth, all you really need to do is try it a couple of times, and eventually you'll just inexplicably get it right. You see, strategy is a nonissue in Destruct-O-Thon, and you'll be able to beat every single level mostly on accident. Maybe you'll screw up the angle once or twice, but usually all you have to do is get it within a 10-to-15-degree window, and you'll be fine. Apart from some occasional obstacles that float about each stage, you're unlikely to run into much resistance.
Destruct-O-Thon just kind of goes on like this until you've unlocked every single level, at which point--well, you could always play again to try to increase your score, but why would you? It's not like there's any skill to actually learn and try to get better at here. Hell, there's not even any difference between the characters, apart from the few catchphrases each one spouts via a text bubble at the end of a stage. In fact, that's really all there is for fans of the show, as the game doesn't do much of anything to really try to cater to them. It's just a few silly catchphrases, a few cameos from characters like the Mooninites (who, incidentally, don't say a word, and aren't properly represented in their five th-thousand dimensions), and not much else. At the very least, the game does capture the look of the show decently enough on the VX7000, but there's also almost no animation, save for when your character hits an object, and the looping background that shoots by while you're running features the same two houses over and over again. Apart from a couple of marginal sound effects, there's also an OK version of the show's theme song that loops in the main menu screen. It doesn't sound quite right, but it's still catchy enough on its own merits.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Destruct-O-Thon is a perfect example of what happens when you take a popular license, throw something together in as short a time frame as possible, and shove it out onto the market. This is not a good game, nor a good use of the Aqua Teen brand, and you should not play it.
