tiggerboy / Member

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Facebook and the breakdown of humanity

There are things that happen in this world in which we cannot change. Earthquakes are happening everywhere, but we know that we cannot change it. We can only see the warning signs and try to be more prepared in the event that it were to happen again.

There are people in this world that have power that they not only deserve (Kim Card"ass"ian, lookin at you tramp) but they have power that just doesn't make sense (lookin at you Zuckerberg)!

Speaking of Z-dawg, Sometimes it is not even a real person that controls the unimaginable power. No, Lord M.Z. is in fact a human being, you did see that movie about him right? I am talking about the silent evil known as Facebook.

Facebook, like the Frankenstein himself... the DeNiro one, not the Mel Brooks one, was stitched together by the very things that the American society secretly thrives on. He took the body of attention, the head of "a voice", and the sex appeal of fat chicks photoshopping everything off except the cleavage, and hashed together this monster that has gotten bigger than even Mr. Zoidberg, I mean Zuckerberg himself could imagine. No, Zoidberg was aware of all of this from the beginning.

(V) (;,,; ) (V) ZOIDBERG RULES ALL!!!!1!1!!!1

Anyways, I am talking about Facebook, and we could also throw in the Eli Manning of Facebook (the smaller, not as talenterd younger brother) Twitter. These two beings have grown to stupid proportions. I mean it, they are so big that its just stupid. Like, Kim Kardassian's over-exposed wedding stupid.

You are probably asking your self "Self, why is it that Tiggerboy is just becoming aware of this problem?" but do know that I was already partially against the beast of Facebook and Twitter. I am not a real "here's what I had for breakfast, and I am already passing my first bowel of the day" posting kind of person. I like the fact that you can keep up with friends and family to the T, whatever the hell that expression means. I still don't fully understand the reason for Twitter. I would hate having people following me all day and constantly repeating, oh, re"tweeting" what I say.

There are some things that can make you go "okay, this is getting to be too much." Without the quotes. Sometimes it is with violence. I don't mind a good horror movie, but you start butchering the children, and I get a bit uncomfortable. My eye opening experience to the pure size of Facebook's power actually came from my new friend Google+. Yes, like a man cloning himself so that he can cheat, Google+ has started to make some major waves into the galaxy of Facebook. The only thing that I did was type the word facebook. I was not given the red zigzag lines, nor the infamous "didn't you mean face book"? (smug google!) No, it was in fact a correctly spelled word. So, to get around English teachers that harp about how "ain't isn't a word, I just start up a new company and call it Ain't? That way, not only is it a word, but its capitalized! BOOYA ENGRISH BEOTCH!

But I digress.

My point is that we as a species are just handing out power to the popular kids! Those wedgies your getting, they're called the Kard"ass"ian Butt Tear, and they hurt. A lot. That swirly you are getting, that's coming from the ghost of Steve Jobs. A man that was cold enough to not only stop Apple from giving to ANY charity for reasons of "they will get money when we make it" and then becoming one of the richest companies of our generation, yet not give a mere dime to any charity, but he also was quoted mocking Bill Gates for being "too busy with Philanthropy while we are busy innovating". Yet he dies, and the whole damn world cries!

Well, maybe not YOUR whole world, but I live in Seattle, Washington. So when he died, the entire Pacific Northwest wept. Why? What did he do that moved all of these people? Crap man, this is the home of Bill EFFING Gates, who gives his money away to better the world.

Oh wait, that's it.

It seems to be the fact that while Bill Gates is better the world, he is not bettering YOUR world. I mean that to the hypothetical "you", not you directly. See, Steve Jobs was hard at work making your life easier. It must be hard to have all that money, so Steve "Superhuman" Jobs was hard at work to make that electronic device that does things just a bit better, but at a huge cost!

Thanks Superjobs! My money was killing, but now I can just give it to you! YAY!

But what about Bill Gates? Who you say? (again with the hypothetical "you") Oh, you mean that guy that created Microsoft? ____insert lame joke about how Microsoft is such crap here_____. Bill, oh hes just busy BEING A REAL EFFING SUPERHERO SAVING THE GODDAMN PLANET! But no, all people can do is cry for a business tyrant rather than cheer for a true savior of the people.

And there you have it, that is how Facebook is evidence of our sheer existence is in danger.

Oh, and just look at the newest generation of kids. We are doomed.