8) :) :D :lol: :lol: A BLOKE had just finished reading a book called....Man Of The House. Pumped up from the read he stormed into the kitchen and walked up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face,he shouted: "From now on. I want you to know that I am the man of this house and my word is law! "I want you to prepare me a goument meal tonight and I expect a sumptuous dessert after-wards. Then, after dinner, you are going to run me a bath so I can relax. And when I've finished my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?" His wife replied: "I'd say the funeral director." :lol:
Element : Woman
Element : WO2
Discoverer : Adam
Atomic Mass : Accepted as 180lb but known to from 100 lb to 550 lbs
(1). Surface usually covered with a painted film
(2). Boils at nothing and freezes without reason
(3). Melts if given special treatment
(4). Bitter if incorrectly used
(5). Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore
(6). Yields to pressure applied to correct points
(1). Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones
(2). Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
(3). May explode without prior warning and for no know reason
(4). Insoluble in liquids but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol
(5). Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
(1). Highly ornamental especially in sports cars
(2). Can be a great aid to relaxation
(1). Pure speciman turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state
(2). Turns green when placed beside better specimen
(1). Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
(2). Illegal to possess more then one
(1) Fur-lined mixing bowl
(2) Firm banana
(3) Two Laughing eyes
(4) Two well shaped legs
(5) Two loving arms
(6) Two firm milk containers
(7) Two nuts.
A. Look into laughing eyes
B. Spread well shaped legs
C. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently until fur-lined mixing bowl is well greased. Check frequently with finger.
D. Meanwhile ensure that loving arms are attached to firm banana
E. Add firm banana to fur-lined mixing bowl gently, work in and out until well creamed. For best results continue to knead milk containers.
F. As heat rises plunge banana deep into fur-lined mixing bowl, cover with nuts, sigh with relief. Leave to soak. (Preferably not overnight.)
G. The cake is cooked when banana is soft. If banana does not soften, repeat method or change mixing bowls.
H. If in unfamiliar kitchen be sure to wash utensils carefully after use.
Do not lick mixing bowl after banana softens.
If cake ' rises ' , leave town as soon as possible.8):lol:
Seven wise men made up their minds to make a fanny of their own design. The First was a carpenter full of wit with a mallet and a chisel he made a slit. The Second was a blacksmith blacker then coal with a mallet and hammer he made a hole. The Third was a tailor long and thin with a piece of red bibbon he lined it within. The Forth was a furrier big and stout with the fur of a cat he lined it without. The Fifth was a fisherman old and bent with a rotten old herring he gave it a scent. The Sixth was a pracher with a B.A. degree he blessed it stroked it and said it could pee. The Seventh was a rabbi a mean little runt he fu***d it and blessed it and called it a c**t.
8):):D:lol: A young man on a flight to EAST MIDLANDS AIRPORT was suddenly taken short, he was standing outside the "GENTS" in a very uncomfortable state when the air-hostess noticed his plight, she suggested that he should go into the "LADIES" which was unoccupied but gave him a WARNING not to touch any of the buttons on the wall which were marked BW, WA, PP, and ATR, When he had finished his function his curiosity got the better of him and he pushed the first button "BW" where upon a spray of warm water washed his bottom. He thought this was great so he pushed the second button "WA". The result was a stream of warm air to dry his bottom off. He was really enjoying this so he pushed the third button "PP" to find at his amazement a big powder-puff powdering his bottom. He was thinking how well british airways looked after their lady passengers when he pressed the fourth button "ATR". Few days later he woke up in is local hospital and asked the nurse what had happened, she said, "you were in the ladies on a boeing 747 and pushed the button marked "ATR". This is an automatic Tampax Remover. you're penis is under the pillow and you're testicles are in the bucket at the side of the bed". :o:?
I am BLACK
I was born BLACK.
When I go out in the sun, I am still BLACK.
When I am sick, I am still BLACK.
When I am Dying, I am BLACK.
You are WHITE.
You are born PINK.
When you go out in the sun, you turn RED.
Then you go BROWN.
When you get sick, you turn WHITE.
When you are Dying, you turn GREY.
When they bury you, you are PURPLE.
And you've got the flipping Nerve to call me COLOURED.
8) I think gamespot as caused a bit of a Stir what with the Emblem's being taken away is there a reason for it I ask myself......:- Well yes there is, these emblems were removed because of abuse of Reader Review System and Plagiarism. But there again there seem's to be a lot of members that have missed out. Will they be coming back I hear myself saying.......Well to be honest I am not too sure at this given time. May be they will be making some new reviewers badger's soon do you think, lets hope so to replace the one's that have been taken a way! We shall see.