So many of you have read my threads "LMAO my dog puked on my sister" and its sequal "My dog got owned after his little puking incident" (All true stories by the way). Well I am here to proudly tell you as of today their is a third installment in the grand epic. So today is about a week after the first incident, I'm sitting in my parents room on the fllor with my dogs, my sister is ten feet away on the floor watching TV. I start rough housing with Bear (the culprit of both stories) and he doesn't really seem up to pace. I'm punching him in the stomach and slapping his ass (not hard just playfully) but he seems a bit lathargic. Finally I grab his cheeks and start playing with them, but he gives me a look like "F you buddy" and he slaps me in the face with his paw. I chuckle and cut him some slack and leave the room. I shut my door and pull right up to my computer only to hear my sister screaming bloody murder. I sprint out of my room in a frantic pace and turn the corner to see her lap completly covered and dog ralph and my dog standing over her. She turned to me with her face red and began screaming the I had caused it because I was rough housing with him. I was unable to cope with the idea that this had happened twice in a 1 week period I began once agian to laugh hysterically. As of now I'm in my room with the door locked and she is screaming for me to help her clean it up. I swear I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Ok so like two days ago I made a thread entitled "LMAO My dog puked on my sister" it was quite humorous and everyone enjoyed it (Although it was sadly locked) The story concluded with my dog basically owning everyone, owever that was nto the final chapter in this epic.
Fast forward to last night, I'm in my living room again watching 24 on DVD with my parents. I left the remote on the ground and my dog was getting pissed that no one was paying attention to him so he starts whining. Naturally we ignore him and continue watching but being the punk that he is he walks over to the remote and steps on it. (Not on purpose but it seemed that way) The DVD got all F'ed up and we had to rewind to where we were. So I finally get the back to where we were and lay the remote on my chest. Again he starts whining and then comes over to me wanting me to play with him. I ignore him and he tris to lay down on me but lays on the remote once again F'ing up our spot. My parents begin getting pissed at me thinking I'm doing it on purpose, so I put it on top of the telivision.
So ten minutes pass then my dog returns again but this time he goes to my dad who is in a recliner. First he tries to climb in with my dad, but my dad pushed him off. (This isn't a small dog either he is a 75lb Golden Retriever.) I then see my dog leave the room. Minutes later my dog comes sprinting back into the room and jump right on to the recliner. Only my dog caught the tail end of it where the person rests their feet so in one quick motion it flys out from underneath him unable to support his wait. My dog lands on his ass obviously surprised only to have the recliner fling back up and hit him smack in the face. I t was the saddest/funniest thing I have ever seen. He appeared to be scared at first, then he seemed pissed an left the room for the rest of the night. i swear he might just be literally mentally retarded.
Been browsing through old threads reading up on my old tales and I founda s tory that I absolutely love, well in truth it's more of a trilogy. As you all know I love telling personal stories that are funny. Well this story in particular I have such a great memory of. The thread was hailed by all a success and people demanded it be floated, yet for reasons of a cranky mod it was locked.Here is the story in it's entirety...
LMAO My dog just puked on my sister
I was sitting in my living room playing videogames and my sister was on the couch complaining about the fact that I was hogging the TV. My golden retriever had his head resting on her feet, suddenly I hear him from behind go "YAAAAK". I turned around to see my sisters feet completly covered with ralph. I began to laugh hysterically as my sister yelled at me to put him out, as I grabed him by the coller to pull him out sides he seemed to be smiling.
I returned to my living room still in stitches to see my sister cleaning it up, just then my dad came in asking what the commotion was. My sister was like "Well I just gave Bear (my dogs name) some Tummy Chummies (dog treat) I guess they didn't agree with him." My dad was like "What?! I gave him some Tummy Chummies like an hour ago." I began to laugh even more hysterically as I told them that I had just given him some Tummy Chummies.
The first 3 monthes of college was everything I hoped it would be, I loved every aspect about it. I had a great time every night, classes were easy, I had made what I had thought were awesome friends, and there were girls everywhere. But now everything's changed, it's hitting me pretty hard.
Basically it all started a few weeks ago, the guy who I had become probably best friends with approached me at a party. He told me straight up that I had been busting his balls a little too much, I felt terrible and apologized numerous times. I never wanted to be that guy who constantly made fun of his friends to the point they hate him, so I felt liek crap. He said it was all good just to not do it as much.
A week later we were playing basketball and talking about a night that happened a few weeks prior. Me and my firend began to argue if a girl he made out with was drunk or not, I wasn't trying to piss him of or say that he took advantage of her, I was jsut sayign that she had thrown a few back. He got pretty pissed and walked off. At that point my roommate began to argue witha big black guy, I turn to my roommate and say "Dude, don't argue with him, he isn't worth it." My roomate turns to me and says "Shut the #$%^ up, you always think your right! Your Mr. High and Mighthy!" He unleashed a tirade of verbal abuse on me to which point I just sighed, turned an went back to my room. That night my friends and roomates all returned from playing basketball and vented to each other on me, they sat in someones room and just talked about different things about me they hate or are annoyed by. I had a friend in the room who just sat there and listened, then told me it all the next day. It pissed me off but I decided to try and move on.
Last week I was chilling with my friend he started to tell me more of the things the guys were saying about me behind my back. He told me not to get upset, and I tried not to but it was hard. After we finished chilling we went to a party where everybody who had been talking behind my back was, one by one they came up and asked me how it was going, trying to be all nice, not knowing I knew what they really felt. That night I sat on the porch alone of the house party I was at and text messaged my friends back home, telling them how I missed "knowing who my real friends were."
The entire night I was quiet, I clearly had a don't mess with me aura about me. I sat in the corner and everyone kept asking me what was the matter, I jsut would shrug and say "Nah, I'm just not feeling it tonight." We went back to the dorm and everyone was about to chill in one of my friends room, so I walk in with a Gatorade in my hand and one of the kids talking about me slaps it out of my hand and begins to laugh. I turn around, get in his face and say, "Don't @#$% with me!" he gets pissed off and starts saying things like, "Everyone knows your the biggest $%^# on the floor!" He then begs me to hit him, my friend's pleading with me not to do it in his room, so I turn and walk out. 3 times int he night I'm awaken by the kid banging on my door telling me to hit him if I think I can take him, each time it takes every ounce of my being to shut the door and not hit him.
The next day I find that basically everyone blames the altercation on me (the sober one at the tiem it occured, pissed I ask how I can be blamed for standing up for myslef but no one gives me a straight answer.
From that day forward I start noticing the kid who I thought was my best friend (the one who told me to tone down on making fun of him) is being a real dick to me. He's constantly making fun of me but not even in good sport, just vicsious stuff. I tell him what he's doing and he shows no remorse so I stop talking to him till I get an apology, I wait a week but still no apology. So I just forget it and go back to hanging out with them, they seem like they have no problem with me anymore and I feel as if I may have over reacted.
Last night I go out to a club with a bunch of those guys, we're all having a good time and we're with a girl I really like. I know this girl better then any guy here so I feel like I have a real chance but my friends are constantly making fun of me telling me I'm in the "friend zone" with every girl I meet. So last night shes really drunk and acting weird aroudn me, I'm thinking this is a pretty clear indicator she likes me. Then I see her later on in the night with a guy on my floor and she's dancing with him and whispering in his ear. I shrug it off, it's not a big deal to me at the time. We all get on the "drunk bus" ( a bus that takes all the drunk kids home), I'm sitting there and I look over, sitting next to me is the girl I like and she's making out with the guy on my floor. It killed me. I get back to my room and go to talk to my friend, being drunk and after seeign that, I need some serious support. I tell him what happened he says "Dude that sucks." and begins talking to someone else.
Then today comes, we're all joking around in my friend room and he starts pegging me with a basketball. Just as he does it I fart, as payback. Only he get's really pissed, he starts really pegging me hard with the ball and yelling at me. I'm liek "Dude your overreacting." but he kicks me out of his room and refuses to talk to me now.
I'm tired of this crap, I'm tired of people talking behind my back I'm tired of alot of stuff here now. What should I do?
The other day I was thinking, and now I'm thoroughly convinced I shouldn't do that anymore. Anyways a huge debate erupted into my head that in my mind is on scale with the Vietnam conflivt. The question I came up with then pondered for a while you ask? "If you use a sheep skin condom then aren't theoretically commiting beastiality, and necrophilia because in some way your having sex with a dead sheep? Let me just say, this question erupted in my head during college camping trip, and while the whole time I was working the mack on the ladies I could only wonder the answer to my question. In an odd turn of event's I believe that furthered my game with the girls (to be discussed in a further thread), but I still have yeat to come to a conclusion. Your thoughts?
I'm taking a break from my reviews of past PPV's as of right now, I promise I'll update and I might even post them in the WWEverything Board to increase blog readership.
This column though I'm going to run down what I think next years PPV card should look like, and I'll explain and interest I've taken that could effect the future and uniqueness of this column.
Ok first off the bat, next years Wrestlemania is still very far away, but I thought it would be somewhat fun to just play around with the current roster and make a card I see as Wrestlemania worthy. Now here are the guidelines I'm going to use for this, I'm using the current roster as of today, so no CM Punk, no Harry Smith and no Orton. I'm also taking a half practical, half fantasy approach (meaning my card will be fun but still realistic to what the WWE is willing to do at this point. Finally I'm predicting progression, this means I won't have todays champs and some lower carders may have moved up.
Boom, bang, fireworks, yada-yada
Triple Tag Threat Match for the World Tag Team Belts
MNM vs. The Mexicools (c) vs. The Spirit Squad (I have them jumping ship to SmackDown)
I need a fast paced yet meaningful match to kick the night of, the Mexicools I feel are currently under-utilized and really should be pushed a team rather then singles. I have them goign in as champs and a triple threat match, I also have this being the first major rift in MNM before they start to go off on their seperate ways.
Money in the Bank Match
RVD vs Batista vs John Cena vs Shelton Benjamin vs Bobby Lashley vs Rey Mysterio
I'd like to see a tradition double main event with to singles matchs so I have most of the contenders in the MITB match. Also I mixed in some young talent and contrasting styles so the match has all the neccesary spots.
A Retirement match
Ric Flair vs. The Undertaker
Both are past their prime and need to take a seat, this is probably wishful thinking but wouldn't it be nice to see one of these guys retire at the next Wrestlemania, and still leave with some dignity?
HHH vs. JBL
Back and forth the too have taken pot shots at each other in their promos, this finally culminates ina match to determine who is a true wrestling God, with a surprising face turn by JBL.
No DQ Fatal Four-Way Cruiserweight Championship Match
Kendricks vs London vs Kid Kash vs Helms
Let these four guys do what they want, give them about 15 minutes and entertainment shall ensue.
WWE Title match
Edge (c) vs. Kane
Kane is long over due for his shot at the belt, he held the title once, for a night and then lost it. I'd like to see Kane win the Rumble then in the main event.
World Heavy-Weight Championship
Benoit vs Angle (c)
Ah, it my just be a fantasy but this could be so sweet, ah the technicality. Damn a Wrestleman 17 rematch for a belt would be wonderful.
I gotta go right now, but don't think I forgot about those Superstars I left out, I got something in store for them. More matches to come! Plus I'll reveal my special secret all tommorow. But right now I've to go.
So the other day Iwas browsing through my wrestling DVD/tapes (every PPV I buy I record on tape) it was then I realized that these tapes really spoke to me about the different eras they're from, with that in mind I decided it would be great idea to go through and review some of them. So in no particular order (basically whatever I felt like watching) I'm going to break down these PPV's over the next few weeks, I've got some from the early 90's but most reside in the early to mid 2000's. Ok lets begin with a recent one for this week....
John Cena vs Big Show (c) for the US Championship
A damn good opening bout. Anyone who doubts what Cena can do charismatically needs to check out his pre-game rap here, it is a true example of his form prior to the WWE tainting it by scripting his stuff. Cena was a great face with heel qualties, at this time he acknowledge the crowd but you never got the feeling he really cared what they thought (unlike today). He seemed more preoccupied with his opponets and never turned to the audience for reassurance, liek I said he is the complate opposite today.
Anyways the match saw Show dominating for the most part early one thing Cena battle back with a sleeper hold, really got the audience behind him. He worked in an F-U on Show, something we hadn't seen before so it was amazing and went for the pin, Show kicked out (he was the first to do so ever , right then). The crowd really was eating this up, great ending with Cena frustrated going for the chain to hit Show in the head, then having the ref try and take it before he could use it. Ultimately Cena threw the chain across the ring as if more frustrated then with the refs back turned he hit Big Show with his custom metal knuckles which led to another F-U and the pin. Excellent booking in this match, got the crowd pumped with a title change at the begining of the night plus the ending built both superstars up. Big Show had to be beaten with knucks to lose, while Cena's cheating reaffirmed his thugness. Cena today would never cheat, maybe that is his problem.
Fatal Four-Way Tage Title Match
Booker T & RVD (c) vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Cade & Jindrak vs. La Resistance
Overall this match fellt liek the WWE rushed to put it together, they realized they need more mathces and had a surplus of quality wreslters so they made a confusing tag match. There was no build up, the rules were extremely confusing and didn't make sense (there were only 2 men allowed in the ring at the time but it was sudden death & for another team to get in a duy in the ring must tag them). The audience obviosuly were confused as to what was going on in the match, overall poorly booked, and boring for themsot part.
Christian vs. Chris Jericho
Great build for the match (although in retropsect it doesn't seem to fit Jerichos personality but at the time it was good). Extermely solid match, not really any notable moves but a good booking to get the corw somewhat alive again. Great endign with Trish causing Jericho the match then kissing Christain, although in weeks after it still didnt make sense. WWE didn't do a good enough job explaining why Trish turned.
Evolution vs The Rock N' Sock Connection
If anything this proved to me how much the WWE needs the Rock back and how washed up Foley has gotten. The build was new at the time, but we've seen it used over and over agian with Foley now. An out of shape Rock clearly carried the match for the Rock N' Sock side as he did the brunt of the work, it actually felt as if Foley wasn't a wrestler as he would take adavantage at bizzare moments. Rock and Flairs mannerisms during the entire match were hilarious (a singles match between them would have been great instead). Evolution were outstanding, the Rock was great considering the circumstances, Foley seemed to break up the pace and slwo them down. Overall it was a pretty good match because msot fans marked out, and the ending put over Evolution which is smart for business.
Sable & Torrie Wilson vs. Jackie Gayda & Stacy Kiebler.
You see Gaydas ass at the end, only plus of this match, I want my intital five minutes back, then the five mutes I spent watching it again.
Ah confusing rules again with no build. Clearly everyone was confused or disinterested in the audience except the occasional spot. Bland ending with Chavo Senior helping Chavo retain. If WWE was just going to throw in random Cruiserweights it should have been a four way between the stars of this match, Billy Kidman, Tajiri, Rey Mysterio, and Chavo. Or at least a match between Chavo and Rey since they had some build leadign into the match.
Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar Special Ref Ausitn
1 year prior this would have seem liek a dream match to fans. But with both stars leaving fans felt betrayed, so rather then use that heat, the WWE decided to put the 2 in a match together? On top of that the two jsut stood staring at each other trying to get the crowd pumped for like 3 minutes, but all this allowed for was them to get their chants organized. Looking back I feel bad for Lesnar, a young kid trying to fulfill a dream shouldn't be treated that way. He is such a draw and great worker WWE needs to settle their dispute and bring him back. Hard to watch, easily the most disappointing match of Wresltemania history in my mind (it had so much potential). Very few moves, short match wise, overall just bad.
Fatal Four Way for the Tag Team Championship
Bashams vs. Scotty& Rikishi (c) vs. APA vs Worlds Greatest Tag Team
See the other match, confusing, thrown together, no build, champs retain. Hell the audinece already sat through one of these then they had to sit through another? Bah, poor booking. great talent, just misused.
Hair vs Title Match
Molly Holly vs. Victoria (c)
Good match by womens standards, had some decent build. Somewhat of a swerve by actually having Molly lose and shave her head. Good Bathroom break!
Kurt Angle vs Eddie Guerrero (c)
At the time this match was done I loved it, although it was soemwhat panned by critics. Second time around I loved it still! Great build, Kurt plays a great villain who is trying to purify the title. The pyschology was excellent. Kurt put Guerrero in Ankle lock numerous time, Gurerro really play up injury to ankle, loosens boot to seemingly alleviate pressure, rolls out of boot during next Ankle Lock to roll Kurt up. People found it predictable but I didn't see it coming at the time. Great match.
World Heavyweight Championship
Chris Benoit vs. HBK vs. HHH
Oh baby this is what a title match is about. Built to perfection, everyone wanted Benoit to to win, very similar to Rey recently but HHH and HBK seemed on fire at the time and Benoti had never held the belt in the WWE. Great spots, near taps and near falls. My favorite part of the match is how HHH and HBK seemingly work together to throw benoit through a table so they can have this match to themselves. The spot fit perfectly with the storyline, at the time HBK had been feuding with HHH for a while and it seemed perfect to have it culiminate at Wresltemania, but then all of the sudden Benoti shows up on Raw and wants the belt. He felt tacked on to the match (but in a good way) like HHH and HBK were trying to put him in the back seat and finish their feud. Great booking, with the pest (Benoit) coming back to break a near fall. Then Benoit put HHH in a sharpshooter and the crap hit the fan, it seemed ineveitble HHH would tap but he got out and went for a pedigree, Benoit reversed for a Cross face, at this point everyone and their mom is screaming the now immortal "TAP MOTHER******! TAP!" Finally he does and what a victory.
The night ends with Guerreo and Benoit embracing in the ring with their titles, very good ending. The ending seems to be the eptiomy of Wresltemania.
Overall despite some questionably booked match ups, and one complete dud, it was a nice PPV. The two title matches seems to warrant its purchase.
Till Next time!
So it seems pretty certain now barring a miracle that I'll miss Wresltmania this year. I'll be honest, I'm alittle bit peeved but not because I wanted to see the card play out. Last night I threw up a Hail Mary hoping my parents would bail me out, I broke out a test I had just recieved that day for a class I had previously been doing not so well in and showed them I got a 97% on the test. They were pleased and then I dropped the bomb but recieved a devaststating "No." I figure they still don't understand what I meant by Wrestlemania (probably think I want to go to another show) but there reaction was of little shock to me.
My parents have never understood my fascination with wrestling, they always seemed to have percieved it as "a phase" but they never acknowledge that this "phase" has been a passion of mine for a good portion of my young life. Ulitmately watching wrestling was probably one of the first acts of deviance I probably took. I was never introduced to it by my parents in fact I was taught that it was "trash with scantily clad women and men in tights". In a young age I carried that mentality around even to my friends who were all huge fans, slowly though I began to watch and even when my parents told me it was crap I kept on watching.
Its funny how things work out, now its about ten years later most of my friends don't watch wrestling and I'm the only die hard. Although if you asked around it would probably be a shock to people that I love wrestling. Most likely I gained the idea from my parents that it was something to be embarassed about and to this day I am very much so ashamed of my "secret passion".
I guess this whole Wresltemaina thing really brought all my bitterness to the surface. My parents are great to be honest, they've given me all I ever needed and more, its just sometimes I feel they don't give me support when I need. it. My parents always take the classic pesimistic approach to issues, always attempting to scare me into succeeding a strategy that worked when I was 14. But now when I make mistakes I don't need to hear that I've F'ed up majorly from 5 different people (number of people in my family) I need someone to tell me I'll be fine, that person always has to be me in the end though.
I guess I sound like a huge baby/emo, and I agree I really shouldn't complain but I just need to vent a little and this so called "column" that has a total of like 3 readers seemed like an alright place to do it.
But getting back to why the denial of Wrestlemania hurt me so much. It was so much the actual denial, but the way it was given to me, it had the sentiment of "Why do you still watch that crap? Your 18 for Gods sake." You see I didn't fully realize it till last night but I'm bitter at my parents for not supporting what my possibly become an endeavor of mine. My parents poured thousands of dollars into training my sister for soccer, she was supposed to be amazing. Every weekend my dad would be gone with her at some tournament while I sat home an wondered why I wasn't good enough to recieve that type of attention for sports. When I say thousands, I literally mean my parents paid thousands of dollars for camps, clinics, equipment, etc. Sure I went to the occasional camp, but I'd say my sister went to 5 sleepaway camps around the East Coast for soccer a summer for at lest 6 years, I went to one sleepaway camp for 4 days for football. My dad never even saw me play football in highschool once(although I didn't play much). My sister fianlly ended up playing soccer on year in college before deciding to quit, and my parents never doubted her. I just want that type of blind support, that even after they wasted thousadns of dollars they feel she made the right choice for her.
I have a feeling I know what the right choice is for me in life, and I also have a feeling it wouldn't be a popular one with my parents. Ever since I went to my first live show I realized I wanted to be in that ring an entertain those people. Every move I've made to forward my life has some how been a move to make me closer to my goal, a goal that I ahve never even told anyone and this would have to be the first time I have ever actually said it. I have a fear though that after my graduation of college when I tell my parents what I really want to do with my life, they will not be happy or supportive. Until then I can only continue to try and make them understand why this isn't a joke to me. Till next time, possibly another update, and hopefully not sucha whiney emo post. Roll Hard Readers, Roll Hard!
I've consecitively ordered Wrestlemania for myself for the last five years and then I saw it sparratically before that at friends and so on. But I might break the streak this year, the card is broderline, I'm low on funds, and in a bit of a pickle with the parents. When I had a job I used to get Summerslam and Wresltemania with out even caring about the card (the only 2 PPV's I ever buy unless the card is amazing), now after I've quite my job and the price of WM increases even more I start to re-evaluate my situation. Usually my parents would bail me out for good behavior and jack (er, that won't be happening this time most likely :twisted: ). But strangely I don't really feel erked, I haven't caught a Raw in 2 weeks and what I hype I have recieved just didn't work for me. Hell I was even at a live show during Wrestlmania hyep, if that didn't hype me up nothing will.
To be honest, there just aren't any matches that appeal to me. Last year I had Angle/Michaels, the year before that it was the triple threat, etc. But now I don't care about any of those. I have some interest in the MITB match, but after two deserving contenders in my mind (Carlito and Masters) were eliminated, I really only had a slight interest in seeing Shelton win.
I don't know, I'll keep you updated as the countdown continues but it looks bleak to be honest. I don't have a strong desire to see the card, and I don't have the resource to throw around anymore.