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jerk-o-tron2000 Blog

Jerk-O-Tron Tries Poetry.......Featuring Hurtful Haikus.

Here goes.

Circus is in town
Your foul presence is explained
Go to hell, carnie

Dogs will eat your corpse
Rogues will defecate on it
Die, you stupid prat.

Banish from my sight
Did I mention I hate you?
Burn in hell, ****wad

You are a ****Head.
Your Mere presence angers me
I will punch your face

You make me so mad
Rage is exceeding limits
Get out of my face

Pile of excrement
This Haiku describes you well
You Bloody Tapeworm

You are so stupid
Everybody is laughing
At your ugly face

Well, that's all I have for now. May post more at a later date.

With mild Rage
Jerk-O-Tron 2000

The Scariest Video Game EVER!!!!

So I just got done playing the scariest game ever....It's too horible for words, so I'll just try to describe it to you to the best of my abilities.

You aren't given any background of the game at all. The moment you press START, it all begins. I was, however, able to guess what the game is about after surviving long enough. (It's not about beating the game, just surviving) Apparently, you are in control of a mad man. No name is given, but I guess the name of the game has to do with the Protagonist. (If you can call him a protagonist) Apparently, you have escaped from whatever mad house room you were hiding in. And apparently, the verry horrid state of mind of the protagonist has turned the halls of the mad house into nothing but a pitch-black maze, with the only light coming from the walls, which glow an eerie and deadly blue.

Your character has been pushed to the brink of insanity, turning him into a mad cannibal that you can barely control. As the matter of fact, you can only (barely) control where he goes, but you can't control his actions. Your character seems to grab anything and tries to eat it; Whatever is in front of him is thrown into his mouth and he devours it.

The enemies are four hideous and mind-scarring beasts. You cannot hurt them at all. and being close to one is instant death. The beast grabs you by the mouth begins to rip you open. You can't do anything, but hear the disturbing noise of your body being torn.

You can, however, come across some odd objects that will deteriorate your state of mind for a short while, which will give you the courage to take on one of these beasts. You stalk them, and then, like an animal, you feast on the beast's flesh.

I cannot express the fact that this is a terrifying game that will probably leave you sleepless for a while, but if you really want to play it, Google the word "Pac-Man" it should be one of the first results.

....All that and a bag of chips.

I'm back from suspension.......That's all...........Resume with your business as usual.

Yeah, that's all I have to say....for right now.....

I'll try to behave........No promises though....

Yeah.

With apathy:
Jerk-O-Tron2000

P.S.

ECW tag

Jerk-O-Tron's Letter To Sandy Claws

Dear Sandy Claws:

I know I haven't been a good dude.....Hell, I don't even recall being nice, furthermore, you should fullfill my demands or I'll hunt you down without mercy. Hunt you down all nigthmare long. (Luck....Runs.....Out.)
These are the items that I desire:

1- Gibson SG Guitar.
Probability of receiving - 5%
This is something that I will probably have to buy myself. I was planning to buy it around this season, but I chose to buy 'Mania tickets, and I have to buy presents for the significant people, so I'll have to wait a little longer...But If I got it for my birthday/Christmas, that would rock so hard. (No pun intended)

2- Slinkie
Probability of receiving - 87%
A spring, a spring, a wonderfull thing! Everyone knows it's slinkie, slinkie. Fun for a girl or boy. Slinkie, slinkie, Truly a wonderfull toy! I have been wanting to push a slinkie off my attic stairs and watch it go.

3- Rubics Cube
P.O.R - 87%
My old one is falling apart.....Time for an upgrade.

4- Boondocks Season 3, The Warriors, Nirvana: Live at Reading, Che: Parts One and Two, Breaking The Code: Behind the Walls of Chris Jericho, or any DBZ season (excluiding season 4)
P.O.R.- 60-90%
My DVD/Blu-Ray collection could use one of these great additions.

5- iHome
P.O.R. - 95%

Well, that's all I desire. and i would also welcome "Protein Source of The Future" by the Mountain Goats, new red Chuck Taylors to save me the problem of buying myself new shoes, and a dartboard. But if I get something else, that's cool too. It's the thought that counts.

Till next time and Happy Holidays

Jerk-O-Tron2000

Jerk's Five Super Special Awesome Recurring Nightmares

I have some crazy nightmares, but there's five that I keep having. Could it mean something? I don't know, and I certainly hope that they don't come true.

5) My Murder- I keep dreaming that someone I trust/love murders me after some event that causes me to be nearly killed, and I think I'm safe. I usually get shot from behind with a revolver. Maybe I don't trust people around me.

4) Sacrilegious Massacre- This nightmare involves me traveling with the pope and his holy entourage in a war thorn country. We are in a temple, praying, when soldiers come and shoot up the place. Sometimes I survive, but the vast majority of the time, I die trying to guide the pope to safety. When I survive, I am usually captured. Maybe the rose prophecy stuck to me when I read it.

3) I Go One-On-One Against The Antichrist- This one involves me fighting the Antichrist and horribly coming short of even holding my own. I throw a punch, I either miss or hit, but it doesn't hurt him. I shoot him, and he survives and laughs at my feeble attempts to kill him.

2) The Antichrist Is After Me- I try to escape a house/castle/mansion and the Antichrist knows my every move, and when I do manage to escape the facility housing the Antichrist, I realise that someone I love/care about is in there and I must go back and save them. If I fail to save them, I meet my end going back and running into the Antichrist. If I succed in saving them, this nightmare turns into number five.

1) I AM THE ANTICHRIST!!!- I kid you not. My most recurring nightmare portrays me as the Antichrist. I am responsible for the genocide of millions and my most trusted staff member tries to kill me, and I end up killing him, wishing I could be slain instead, but I have no control. I realise that what I'm doing is wrong, but I can't stop.
In rare occasions, the nightmare is about someone accusing me of being the Antichrist, and people kill me, only to discover that I am not the Antichrist.

Funny thing about the last four nightmares, I really don't consider myself as "Religious". Talk about irony.
Well, I hope you enjoyed my Nightmares....Good Night boys and girls...Pleasant dreams.:twisted: