Do Turtles Fart?

Yes, turtles do fart, and their farts smell incredibly bad, as do the farts of snakes. Reptile farts smell  so bad that sometimes you can tell that one is nearby in the woods, even on a windy day, before you can see the animal. In fact, based on formal research with reptiles, many reptiles use farts as a weapon.

Li'l Zit And The Giant Corn

Once, Pimp sent Li'l Zit to check on the growth of the corn in the field. Now Li'l Zit was not a tall lad, so he decided to take a ladder with him. When he found the giant corn, he leaned the ladder against it and climbed up until he could reach half way up. From there, he proceeded to the top of the giant corn, and looked out over the field. There was enough corn there for a rich harvest.

Excited by his discovery, Li'l Zit started back down the giant corn.  He realized suddenly that it had kept growing while he was at the top. He stepped from sead to sead, but it grew so fast he never reached the ground.

Meanwhile, Pimp wondered what was taking Li'l Zit so long. He knew there was no use in hunting for him in the forest of corn, so he climbed to the top of the windmill. He saw Li'l Zit's predicament soon enough, and gathered the Cynthia, Pippy The Sock Leg, and Mr. Chinkles to help. Pimp tried to chop down the giant corn, but the giant corn was growing so fast there were eighteen inches separating every chop. Finally, Pimp gave up, and Li'l Zit was forced to stay on the giant corn until Mr. Chinkles used his shrink ray on it and the giant corn finally stopped growing.

Fashion

Fashion.

Grannies.

Fashion and grannies.

Grannies and fashion.

Fashion, grannies, fashion.

Fashion with grannies.

Grannies with fashion.

Grannies sence fashion.

Grannies with a sence of fashion.

Siblings

ISHMAEL: It is both he and she; Your son and daughter.

KING NESTOR: No.

ISHMAEL: Yes.

KING NESTOR: No, I say.

ISHMAEL: I say, yes.

KING NESTOR: No, no, they would not.

ISHMAEL: Yes, they have.

Corduroy Pillows

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Meatloaf In The Oven

Mother took my meatloaf from the oven.

It was a sad, sad day.

Mother gave me my meatloaf from the oven.

It was a sad, sad day.

I did not like my meatloaf from the oven.

It was a sad, sad day.

I put my meatloaf back into the oven.

It was a sad, sad day.

My meatloaf was left in the oven.

It was a sad, sad day.

My meatloaf died in the oven.

It was a sad, sad day.

I Cannot

I cannot see you;
I must be blind.

I cannot hear you;
I must be deaf.

I cannot smell you;
I have no nose.

I cannot touch you;
I have no hands.

I cannot taste you;
I have no tongue.

I cannot understand you;
I must be mad.

I am mad.

Bullets

Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
Guns are noisy.

So get some earmuffs.
My dog eats lemons.

Nuffin Nuffin Nuffin

Nuffin nuffin nuffin
Rhymes with muffin
But nuffin nuffin nuffin
Rhymes with 'orange'

Could it be
That a cup of tea
Is not as good with an orange
As a muffin?