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helios_rietberg

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#1 helios_rietberg
Member since 2005 • 424 Posts

I know I've been crap at posting these few months... but here's my two cents anyway:

The one-thread-per-member thing sounds great. That way the forum would look lots neater. The only thing I would have qualms with would be having to scroll through the entire thread to find, for example, a specific post... unless this is not a replacement of the Member Portfolios, but just an extension. Which! conveniently leads me into the next topic. 

I actually think an archive would be mighty helpful, because then we could have a proper folder-like system which would be so much easier to go through. It would be much easier to upkeep than the Member Portfolios too, wouldn't it?

Prestige Points... this new arrangement sounds fine to me. 

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#2 helios_rietberg
Member since 2005 • 424 Posts
I don't mind seeing the results, but don't stress yourselves over it if real-life is picking up too much.
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#3 helios_rietberg
Member since 2005 • 424 Posts

Whoa, have I been absent for a long time!

This month's poetry was a bit watery for me, if you get what I mean. Nothing really packed too much of a punch; contrary to the others' opinions, I actually liked Through The Looking Glass the best. Sins was alright, but Mess' rhyme scheme didn't sit too well with me. It used to happen to me in my poems, too; I tried really hard to make things rhyme because I used to really like rhyme schemes, but after a while I just stopped because I realised that I was just wracking my brains for a word that would rhyme, but wouldn't really fit into the content of the poem. I think that sometimes, it's better to forgo the rhyme if you have a better word in mind that won't destroy the rhythm too much.

At any rate, keep those poems coming!

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#4 helios_rietberg
Member since 2005 • 424 Posts

After my own poem-hunt disaster, I think I really have to get my own portfolio up-and-running too.

Poetry (basically the bulk of my work):

Birds
(Board) (Docs)

Nuages du Monde
(Board) (Docs)

I am awake
(Board) (Docs)

Dreaming, Sleeping, Smiling
(Board) (Docs)

I am safe
(Board) (Docs)

Butterfly
(Board) (Docs)

Film (In Fragments)
(Board) (Docs)

My Other Self Would Like to Offer an Embrace
(Board) (Docs)

Landscape
(Board) (Docs)

Published as part of the Poetic Prodigy Contest:

Week 1: Limerick
Week 1: Free-Write

Week 2: Couplet
Week 2: Free-Write

Week 4: Epitaph
Week 4: Free-Write

Week 5: Sonnet
Week 5: Free-Write

Week 6: Monologue
Week 6: Free-Write (Love of Rain)

Week 7: Didactic Poem
Week 7: Free-Write (Pocket, Palette, Palace)

Various:

The Meaning of Life

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#5 helios_rietberg
Member since 2005 • 424 Posts
holy mother of
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#6 helios_rietberg
Member since 2005 • 424 Posts

Fine stuff! I personally don't find it very comical. I especially like the line "reminded me of the sun"; very powerful, especially its single-lined existence. I'd say just watch your "it's" and "its", they got a little mixed up along the way. But anyway I really liked it. Amazing what a brief internet presence can do!

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#7 helios_rietberg
Member since 2005 • 424 Posts

Dammit, I really need to make a portfolio; I have no idea what I have or have not submitted before...

Submissions:

Week 4: Epitaph

Week 4: Free-Write

Week 5: Sonnet

Week 5: Free-Write

Week 6: Monologue

Week 6: Free-Write (Love of Rain)

Week 7: Didactic Poem

Week 7: Free-Write (Pocket, Palette, Palace)


That didactic poem was arguably one of the worst poems I have ever written! But, there, that seems to be all the submissions that I have been missing. In on time!
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#8 helios_rietberg
Member since 2005 • 424 Posts

I AM late, but who cares!

Like the others, I'm amazed with the vilanelle structure, AND the way that you pulled it off pretty well! The imagery is good too; I just have this really peaceful, but rather resigned feeling of lying in the middle of nowhere and staring up at the universe blinking back at you...

Ready to bid adieuXENO

If you don't mind me suggesting, I thought of "goodbye to all you knew", since it rhymes with "true" and "blue", and, hopefully sort-of ties in with your theme. 

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#9 helios_rietberg
Member since 2005 • 424 Posts

Okay, I haven't read any of your other works, so I don't know your style at all. (I also know that you didn't expect any long feedback, but seeing as I've already read it I might as well say something!) I don't think I need to repeat that it's very lyrical, would sound great in a song too. But! What gets me are the typos. I like the content itself, and it's quite smooth in rhythm, but the typos are really glaring. (Yes, I am pedantic!) I'd like it better if those were fixed, but hey, that's just me.

Now, if I can find any more of your works, I will comment...

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#10 helios_rietberg
Member since 2005 • 424 Posts
drool from their