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ethanpaige Blog

And my top game of 2010 is...

Yes, Bayonetta. No other game has brought me as much sheer joy and Bayonetta did this year.

*Warning: Spoilers Ahead*

It is, for me at least, the perfect action game. The flawless mix of high speed, reflexive combat and the slow motion mechanics of it's "Witch Time" make each and every battle fun, regardless if you're facing a simple pawn angle or a massive, two headed dragon. Speaking of two headed dragons...

The boss fights.

So many games have them. So many games try to make them feel epic, but the majority of them come off feeling forced, contrived, or sometimes downright unfair. Bayonetta strikes the perfect balance, and it had better, because there's a lot of them. However, each and every one feels completely different from the rest. Different tacticts are used, different environments are fought in. You're on the vast ocean, surfing on a sheet of metal of a downed ship, while a sea monster that dwarfs you dives up and over you, crashing into the water next to you. Then, you're fighting on a crumbled piece of a stone tower, hurtling through the air, as a massive, two headed dragon reaches for you with both sets of jaws. Then, you're fighting against a god himself, high up in space, desperate changing form from your Woman Witch self to that of a Panther, a Bird, and a flock of Bats, avoiding his deadly techniques as he changes the ground beneath you, trying to suck you into oblivion. It's constantly fresh, constantly frantic, and constantly fun.

Once you down a Boss, you get the pleasure of finishing them off with one of the Demons Bayonetta has taken control of. There's a giant eagle that claws and pecks at the boss, ripping off their flesh and leaving them full of holes. There's a dragon that chomps down on them, tearing them apart before finally swallowing them whole. There's tons more, but I won't ruin all of it. It's just too much fun.

Hey, look, it's that dragon I was talking about.

The combat is the best I've ever experienced in an action game, surpassing even Devil May Cry. You dance and weave your way through your enemy's attacks, attacking then with Katanas, Fire Claws, Whips, Rockets, Ice Skates, good old fashioned guns attatched to your ankles (seriously, who doesn't have those), Lasers, and oh, yeah, a friggin Lightsaber. At any time in combat, after a certain point in the game, you can morph into a panther for a deadly burst of speed, a bird that summons blades out of midair, or even match your dodge with the exact moment an opponent makes contact to scatter into a flock of bats and reform a second later, negating any damage. Dodge a split second before the opponent makes contact, and you'll slow down time itself, entering "Witch Time". While your opponents are slowed to almost a standstill, you can take advantage of the momentary collapse in time to pound on them with whatever you've got. Then, finish them off by summoning a Guillotine, an Iron Maiden, or a deadly, spiked wheel that tears them to shreds.

There's also a chainsaw.

Also, you can attack them with giant fists and feet that are spawned from your suit. Which is made of her hair. Yeah, it's awesome.

The setpieces are spectacular, ranging from racing down a collapsing stairway as a panther while a giant, ball shaped enemy chases you attempting to crush you, falling down hundreds of feet, avoiding giant tentacles and flying dragons, fighting atop cars on a high speed chase down a freeway, and even racing up the remains of an ancient tower that leads to space, all while it collapses beneath you.

You also ride a nuclear Missle.

If all this hasn't been enough, it helps that there's replay value. You can blow through the game in less than 10 hours easily, but beating the game on Hard mode unlocks Infinite Climax, the ultimate challenge for a Bayonetta fan. I completed it, it's not impossible, but it's definitely a rough go. Collecting golden records unlocks new weapons for you to unleash against your enemies, and collecting the Halos they drop will allow you to purchase new outfits, variations of previous weapons, and new combos to use during battles. Collecting notes will clue you in to the story of Bayonetta (which really isn't that important), and there are portals that take you to optional side challenges, each abiding by it's own set of rules. There's a lot of content here, and it never gets boring.

Pow, right in the kisser.

So there you have it, my personal GOTY, Bayonetta. It's fast, it's intense, it's funny, and most importantly, fun. Pick it up if you haven't yet, you won't regret it.


First one, I love it. It came out bigger than I originally intended, but oh well, it looks good. My face looks fat.

RIP Ford Taurus (1999-2010)

Well my car finally decided it was it's time. On the way to Sonic the other day for a late night snack, I noticed my windshield was fogging up... so I pulled over, and smoke was pouring out of it's hood. It smelled like a bad barbeque. It was impossible to get it home, and it turns out the engine is now completely shot. Looks like I'll have to get my new car sooner than expected :P

We had a good ride. I received it in 2007, and since then haven't put a scratch on it (unless you count kicking a dent in the door because I was angry at it one day). Poor guy sounded like a go kart, but it got me from point A to point B. I knew it was on it's deathbed for a while, so it didn't come as a surprise. So now I look to the future, and my car that I was scheduled to get in December... but will now get sooner. Out of death, comes life.

Luckily a few of my friends were driving in their cars, so I was able to catch a ride and still get my Sonic. :)

Weekly recap, and a little stealing from Mitu.

Well this week had a few interesting things going for it. There was that wonderful "Fatorite OTer" thread, for those who caught it. Great entertainment. :P My Bankai Sword was delivered, as seen in my previous blog. The most interesting part, however, is a new lady friend I made :o

Interesting how the words "I watched the weight of your world cave in to crush you" can create a spark between two people, isn't it? Turns out she was listening to some A Day To Remember in the back room of my store, and I walked in and started singing along... and that was all the excuse that was needed to start a 2 hour long conversation. We'll be hanging out soon so we can get to know eachother better, and see how things grow from there. She's very pretty, very easy to talk to... hopefully things go in the right direction.

I'm taking some inspiration from Mitu's blog where he had us all ask him questions to be answered... seemed interesting enough :P so ask away, ask anything your precious little heart desires, I shall answer.

I'll end things with an epic quote chain.


My new Ichigo Bankai sword got delivered today, it's so beautiful :cry:

It measures 67" in total. 4 inches taller than me :lol: very sharp, too. Gotta figure out where I'm gonna display it...

Wizarding World of Harry Potter

Well, as most of you probably don't know, I'm a huge closet Harry Potter nerd >_> so I had to take a trip down to Florida to see the new Harry Potter park they made. And it's pretty amazing.

Oh, and also...

Butterbeer! :P

and I gots me a wand.

I'm so cool it's sickening.

But anywho, if you can take a trip down there, I highly recommend it. I have lots more pictures but I'm not posting 100+ pics in a blog... so go see for yourself :P

Update time *zomg new blog!*

Well since it's getting closer to the middle of summer, I figured I'd do a little bit of an update blog, to, you know, update all you guys on things you don't care about.

I was informed yesterday that I'll be getting promoted in my company, and that I'll have to make a 45 minute commute to a new store every day, but hey, it's a small sacrifice for more money. Still not quite where I want to be as far as paychecks go, so I'll be looking outside the company once I get back from vacation.

Ah yes, and vacation. I'll be leaving on friday, going down to Florida with a friend of mine.

Gonna be hitting up Disney, Universal, and the new Wizarding World of Harry Potter :o the latter of which will probably steal all my money. I'm a bit of a HP nerd, deal with it. I also get to see my dog, who I barely see anymore since my Mom and Step Dad moved down there. I'm stuck up here in Jersey with 3 cats. Blah.

I heart him.

What else... I chopped my hair off, kind of. Got tired of my hair getting to that awkward length where it wasn't long, but not short enough to look decent, a week after I got a haircut... so I just made it short.

I'm the one on the left, for those who don't know.

And... that's about it for now I suppose. :) smiles all around.

Well, a rough end to another baseball season.

As a lifelong Red Sox fan, it's tough to see them get swept out of the playoffs like that, but at the same time, it's not too bad. After the untimely death of pitcher Nick Adenhart earlier this season, I really respect the way the Angels have played their hearts out in the regular and post season. I'll definitely be pulling for them the rest of the way. Congratulations to the Angels and all Angels fans out there.

Xbox Live... die in a fire. Please.

Well, I can't connect to Xbox Live because the Parent's Windows Live ID expired. So I need to change the Windows Live ID; simple enough, I have one that I always use. So I change it to that, and I get an error saying it can't be done at this moment. So I tried again... and again... and again... and still nothing. Then I thought hm, maybe if I graduate my account. Problem is, I can't do that unless I sign into Xbox Live, which I can't do unless I change my Windows Live ID, which it won't let me do. See my predicament?

I emailed Customer Support, and naturally got a completely useless answer. So, I guess I'm screwed. Awesome.

EDIT: I got it to work... by using my Yahoo address instead of my Windows Live ID... go figure.