I went to the mall to try and pick up Orange Box from my local GameStop. I really love the whole anti-totalitarian government plot those games have. But, that's besides the point (but not far from it).

I get there only to find out that they aren't receiving the game until tomorrow, even though the release date is clearly today. Pissed off, I start my way back out the mall. Just as I get about to the exit, I pass a military recruiting office. They had a table set up out front of it and some recruiter sitting there handing out bumper stickers, pins, and other pointless tidbits that have nothing to do with the military. Of course, next to everything, is Old Glory.

I pass by the stand, trying to avoid contact since those guys are nothing but used car salesmen in uniforms. I could feel him staring at me as I passed by. Just as I get to the exit, I heard him chime something off...

Army Recruiter: Don't come back, terrorist.

I turn around, not expecting him to be talking to me

Super_Hippie: Are you talking to me?

Army Recruiter: Oh, I don't know. Are you the one that just passed our beautiful flag without saluting her?

Super_Hippie: Let me get something straight... Because I didn't slap my hand against my face as I passed this sheet on a pole, I'm a terrorist? Is that what the Army is brainwashing you people to think?

The recruiter stood up quickly, hopped over the table and stepped right up into my face.

Army Recruiter: What did you just say to me, boy? I'll have you know that "sheet" is a symbol of OUR freedom. Freedom men and women are fighting and dying for over in the Iraq just as we speak. And I'll be damned if I let some terrorist speak down upon it like that. If you don't like it, you can just... get out!

Super_Hippie: Since when did occupying other countries for oil ever turn into fighting for freedom? And if you really appreciated the "freedom" you speak of, you'd know I'm entitled to say whatever I damn well please.

Army Recruiter: That's it, boy! You crossed the line.

He rushed me with a hard right hook. It was so telegraphed, it was almost funny; I saw it coming from a mile away. I stepped into it and hit him with a quick jab to his bicep followed by a heel to his toe. He stumbled back a few steps and muttered something demeaning towards me before he tried rushing me again. I side-stepped him this time and dropped an elbow right into the back of his neck. He fell with a thud, not even attempting to catch himself as hit hit the ground. I walked up to him and kicked him square in the ribs for good measure. With my point proven, I decided it was time to make a quick escape before the mall cops showed up.

Just as I was about to walk out the exit, I was grabbed from behind and placed into a choke hold. It was another recruiter that had watched the whole thing. I could feel my consciousness start to slip away as his grip got tighter and tighter. The next thing I knew, I was waking up on a sofa in the security office.

As it turns out, there were a few people that had witnessed the whole thing. Since the recruiter took the first swing, I was able to get off with self defense. I was apologized to by the other recruiter and I was told to leave. They escorted me out to the parking lot and I left. My neck's a little sore and I don't have my game I wanted, but I guess things could be worse.

Super_Hippie

you could have sue