Wonkyman / Member

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Wonkyman Blog

Gamespot is Full of Happy, Positive-Thinking, Wonderful People

And I want to hug them all and tell them they're dear to my heart. Come, dear readers. Come on a journey with me! Into the land of comments........

Earthbound Releases For the VC!

IGN Commenters say:

   99Winters  4 minutes ago
   My absolute favorite RPG of all time for $10? Thank you kindly, Nintendo.

   Garnyb  39 minutes ago
   best rpg ever

   technogamer18  an hour ago
   if anyone needs me i'll be playing this for the next day...

Gamespot Commenters say: 

   CyhortI82 33 minutes ago
   An overrated game on a terrible console or an overrated game for free on an emulatr that works perfectly? Hmmmm I wonder which is the smart choice....

   bannermanner 48 minutes ago
   ZSNES beat you to the punch, Nintendo.

   Random_Matt 1 hour ago
   Nintendo desperation, $10 for that. Oh dear, all whack jobs work for Nintendo. 
   And could not care less about a overpriced piece of $#!+ snes cartridge, if anyone whats to mention it. 
   Wii U is garbage.

N4G Commenters say:

   PopRocks359  3h ago
   Holy geewillickers Batman! 
   Well I know what to buy today... curse you Nintendo...
   TheEvilWithin  50m ago
   BOUGHT and now spreading the word to my friends!!!

   kma2k  2h ago
   One of my favorite all time games!
      PigPen  2h ago
      Yep, that's what I been hearing. I going to have to check this game out 

Gamespot Commenters say:

   TheRaiderNation  3 minutes ago
   Why couldn't this also be released on the Wii? 

   JumpyLuweegee2  6 minutes ago
   WiiU is a huge piece of $#!+.

        Random_Matt  3 minutes ago
      @JumpyLuweegee2 Completely agree.

   DVONvX  14 minutes ago
   Would love to buy this and play again. I will not be buying a crappy Wii U however..

GameInformer Commenters say:

   Gears of Uncharted Beatles Galaxy 1966  Thursday, July, 18, 2013 at 09:45
   I guess I'll be heading to the store for a points card.

   Morris Moore  Thursday, July, 18, 2013 at 10:01
   AWW YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I'm buying this!!!!

   MrPuffehman  Thursday, July, 18, 2013 at 11:23
   WHAT. Didn't see that coming, now I juat have to add funds to my Wii U.

Gamespot Commenters say:

   HartPuncher 2 hours ago
   Why pay $10? I'll play it on my Dreamcast emulatr. HA!

   b74kd3th 2 hours ago
   $10 for this $#!+?

   enoslives7 2 hours ago
   The only good games on the wii u are old emulatrs, unless you are 5 years old or japanese. Childresn and japanese love to  play crazy Pokemon type games all day.


What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of..

Contrary to What We're Told: The Future is Ours to Create

I'm so tired of people saying digital-download-only is the future.


Everywhere I go lately, there's always a handful of douchey forum-posters who insist that digital is the future, and if you don't like digital then you're against progress and you should be scoffed at. I really hate this kind of attitiude. But before I get into that, my stance on digital vs packaged media. (As if any of you who know me need this to be spelled out.)

If I could get a hard copy of every digital download I've ever purchased, I would do so. Without hesitation. I have actually brought this up countless times while filling out Club Nintendo surveys (the best way to have your opinion heard by the Big N. I highly reccomend it.) I've told them, "You know what would be great? If I could use my Club Nintendo coins to purchase a disc with all of my WiiWare games burned onto it." It'll never happen. But who knows.

The point is, the day video games become download-only is the day gaming becomes a disposable hobby. Which is exactly what the big companies want. They want to slowly restrict us more and more, with each subsequent generation. First the PS3 took away backwards compatibility, then The XBone was going to force check-ins and would brick once the generation ended. They want control, and what better way to control gamers than to sell them a product that they never really own completely. With an always-online console (which is still coming, even if Microsoft withdrew for now,) and digital-only games, what you're really doing is buying the ability to connect to THEIR servers. You're under their control.


Since I posted my entry about the Genesis and GBA a couple blogs back, I've discovered a dozen games for those systems I never considered and have become very excited to play. Can't do that with digital. How many of those games are even available as downloads, and even then, all on one system? What about games like Duck Tales, Yo Noid or Turtles in Time? Stuck in licensing limbo. For Nintendo to deal with Disney and Capcom to get Duck Tales on the VC? Not worth it. But I can play the cart, can't I?

That's what really gets me. You hand over your rights as a consumer to a company like Microsoft, a company that has done nothing to earn your trust. If anything, they have betrayed your trust many, many times. This is the company who will rule our digital future? No thanks.

The future is NOT digital-only. Discs may one day disappear in lieu of flash cards or isometric chips, I don't know. But the future is up to us. The consumers. We provide companies with the money they use to bully us around. If you don't want to be bullied, controlled or treated like you're sharing a cell with Hal-9000 in a white-collar prison, then stop giving them money.


I'm Pissed - Microsoft Edition

I just posted a reply on a forum here, regarding the reason behind Nintendo's lack of third party support despite the U having similar power to the PS3 and 360. It sort of got my blood boiling, searching for all those links. Please give me a bit of breathing room while I let out some anger.

The whole attitude of third party titles not selling well because consumers buy first party software always struck me as simple and unrealistic. Software sells systems. If the Wii U got all the multiplat games instead of them going to Sony or Microsoft, then people could buy the Wii U and play nothing but third party games. You can't tell me Rockstar is scared that Mario will take a chunk out of their Grand Theft Auto sales. 

No, I've always seen it as a bit more underhanded. Microsoft especially is known to employ reputation management. You can't tell me that multi-billion dollar companies like Microsoft or Sony show up on the market with their first console and achieve amazing success due to nothing but hard work and honest business practices. They're on our message boards, falsely creating positive buzz about their own brands, and slandering the competition. They might even be paying companies to not release games on rival systems.

People talk all the time about Nintendo being "behind the times." Does that include shady business practises? Because if so, that explains a lot.

Excuse my rant.. but this sort of thing really pisses me off. The fact that these kinds of practises can go on, be brought to the attention of the fans, and we don't especially react. That Microsoft sees gamers as such pushovers, that they can talk about horrible, restrictive DRM and tell us to "deal with it." They can announce the XBox One and expect everyone to be thrilled, and when they're not, when Microsoft's finally scared, they do just enough to calm people down, and the XBox One preorders skyrocket. Where is the justice in this market?! 

I hope the market crashes. I really do. I hope Sony and Microsoft are forced to drop out of the console race because there's no profit to be made. I hope the Ouya crashes and burns. We've become a community full of thieves, guided by corporations that bleed every cent out of us every chance they get and use underhanded business practises to manipulate our bloated sense of entitlement. 

Let's all give our money to Microsoft.

Retro Games Retcon Part 3: Sega Genesis and GBA

Trying to create a list of games for the Sega Genesis is no easy task. First off, I never owned one as a kid. I had a friend who owned one, but when I went to his place, we'd always play Sonic the Hedgehog. So that's on the list. I think Nintendo was the best route for me to have taken, because when I peruse all the "best of Genesis" lists, I start to notice the same thing. Where Nintendo was colourful and weird, Sega aligned itself as the more realistic, mature system. Reminds me of Microsoft today. That's not to say Sega didn't have games I'm excited to sink my teeth into. But the list is quite a bit smaller than that of the SNES. Suggestions are most definitely appreciated, especially now, since I don't have nostalgia to fall back on.

Also in this post is the Gameboy Advance. You know, I resisted Nintendo's handheld division for ages. It wasn't until the DS with its one-two punch of Phoenix Wright and Hotel Dusk that made me finally decide to get one. But aside from borrowing my brother's GBA to play multiplayer Crystal Chronicles on the Gamecube, I barely touched the system. So I seem to be in a very similar position with the GBA as I am with the Genesis, with one major exception: GBA is still Nintendo. There are still beloved Nintendo franchises to check out in their GBA form.

With that said, as always, suggest away. I don't want to miss out on any of the best a particular system had to offer. My list is as follows:

Sega Genesis

Ecco the Dolphin
Ecco: The Tides of Time
Gunstar Heroes
Prince of Persia
Sonic the Hedgehog
Sonic the Hedgehog 2
Sonic the Hedgehog 3
Sonic & Knuckles
Zero Wing (All your base are belong to us? How could I refuse?

Gameboy Advance

Advance Wars
Advance Wars 2: Black Hole Rising
Gunstar Super Heroes
Kirby and the Amazing Mirror
The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga
Metroid Fusion
Metroid: Zero Mission 

Nintendo's Four-Minute Mile

I love these guys.

"The fact of the matter is that weve been here constantly. Weve been betraying peoples expectations, in a good way, for a long time. Have you heard of the theory or the story of the four-minute mile?

For a very long time in the past, it was believed to be impossible that a human could run a mile in four minutes. However, once one person broke the record, 23 more people broke the record themselves in the following year. Many things we cant do are simply because we think we cant do them. To put it another way, if we start thinking we can do something, we can do it." - Satoru Iwata 

"I saw a video clip from 1990 or 1991. It was a clip off of Good Morning America. It was just before the transition here in the Americas from NES to SNES. The broad themes were, Is Nintendo dead? Can they make the transition to the next system with other devices getting stronger? They were talking about PCs. Is the dedicated gaming system dead? 1990 or 1991. This industry has been declared dead so many times. Nintendo has been declared dead so many times. Its just noise.

Fundamentally, this is the entertainment business. If we entertain people, if we put smiles on their faces, theyre going to buy our products hardware and software. Theyre going to support our brands. We will continue to be a very effective and a very, dare I say, successful company. Its about the content." - Reggie Fils-Aime

Seriously. Why am I such a staunch supporter of Nintendo? Sure I love their brands, but I think their brands wouldn't exist in such an ideal form if it weren't for the attitudes within that company. Keep doing your own thing, Nintendo.

Microsoft Did a Thing.

So first Microsoft was all "This is what we're gonna do." And then everyone got mad. And everyone was worried that Sony would also do that thing. But then, Sony was all "We're not doing the thing." And everyone was happy. Then Microsoft was all "Dayum. Look how mad everyone got. We can't do the thing." And they told everyone that. That made everyone feel all better. Thuh end.

Meanwhile I have my Wii U and my retro collection and the gaming media doesn't consider me a real gamer. So whatevs. 

My Obligatory E3 Predictions Post

Some of you might say I'm writing this post too late. "But Wonkoo, the Microsoft conference happened this morning, and Ubisoft's is going on right now! In fact they're talking about Assassin's Creed or something!"

Bah bah BAH!

Think I care? I don't care.

I'm here to talk about tomorrow morning's Nintendo Direct. And make wild, unrealistic assumptions! So let's get started!

What Will Happen!

Mario Kart 8 - It will be called that. Mario Kart 8. They didn't call the 3DS one 7 just to abandon that naming convention so quickly. It will be gorgeous. I'd like less imaginary characters like Funky Kong, Dry Bones Bowser and Baby Daisy (what?) and more long-time staples in the series like Kamek, a Goomba, and the Koopa Kids.

New 3D Mario - People seem to believe it will be Mario Galaxy 3, but come on. That'll be beating a dead horse.. okay. Not a dead horse. It's a living horse. A race horse even. But a race horse that's been in its fair share of races at this point in its life and needs some time in the stables to cool its hooves. What was I talking about? Oh right. No. This is the first generation since 2001 that Nintendo's taken a graphical leap. Time to return to the Mushroom Kingdom ala Mario 64 and really make it gorgeous. A lush, vibrant, living Mushroom Kingdom. ... And Wart is the villain.

Smash Bros 4 - That trailer is happening. That's a fact. But what surprises await us? It's being co-developed by Namco Bandai, so expect to see Pac-man and Tekken characters. With the possibility of the King of All Cosmos? A guy can dream. Also, everyone calling it Smash Bros Universe. Stop that. The subtitle is always a synonymn for fight. My handy-dandy thesaurus had this to say: Battle, box, brawl, combat, conflict, contend, contest, dispute, quarrel, scuffle, skirmish, squabble, strive, struggle, wrangle. My vote is for Skirmish.

Wind Waker HD - I know this will receive negative reactions, but based on the screenshots when the Wind Waker remake was announced, I quite strongly believe Nintendo is making Tetra a playable second character. Maybe Link sails on the King of Red Lions on your TV screen, and Tetra sails the sea on her pirate ship via the gamepad. Maybe you two have to play on the same screen. regardless, until we hear otherwise, I'm convinced Tetra will be a playable character. Also, I loved Wind Waker and Ah! Ah ah! Can't wait. Squee! 

What We Can Likely Expect

Retro's Thingy - We know Retro's doing a thing. What is it, Retro? Is it Donkey Kong Country Returns 2: Kremlings Return! And They Kidnapped Dixie Kong? Or is it Metroid Prime 4: We Lied When We Told You It Was A Trilogy? Or is it Star Fox: Those Games After 64 Never Happened? Or is it that rumored Metroid-Star Fox crossover which sounds stupid. Or is it a brand new thing? Come on, Retro! Fill us in tomorrow morning.

Yarn Yoshi - Sure would like to learn more about that.

Monolithsoft's X - How about giving it a name.

You know how the Wii U basic bundle was recalled from various retailers across the nightosphere? And Nintendo's all "What? Me doing something? Noooo. Me do something? Nooooo. Me?! Nooooo." But you know they're doing something. That's my prediction. They're doing something. You watch. Best prediction ever.

What I'd Love To See But Probably Won't

Here it comes.

Earthbound Super Awesome Physical Copy Special Edition with bonus disc that has interviews and making of featurettes and unreleased concept art. Yeeeah.

Paper Zelda - I've wanted to see that for years. Imagine a Zelda game with the humor and levity of a Paper Mario game. Where the Master Sword is a pair of scissors and the fire rod makes its return in a devastating way.

Lego City Undercover 2 - Nothing more to say about this. The first game was just so amazing. I want more.

Nintendo Buys Capcom - And forces them to make Mega Man 11 already!!

Reggie Walks Onstage.. I mean Sits Behind his Desk and Pulls off His Face to Reveal...


Baboom! You thought I forgot about this joke.

Let's play the How Many Did Wonkyman Get Right game tomorrow. I bet it's more than two!

Retro Games Retcon part 2: SNES

As a child, I remember seeing the announcements for Mega Man 5 and 6 in Nintendo Power and feeling relieved that at least Mega Man wasn't jumping ship to the Super Nintendo. It was my first time witnessing the end of a console life-cycle, and I felt betrayed that all these franchises I loved were moving to a platform I didn't own. Then we got one.

The Super Nintendo was home to the largest number of my favourite games ever made, and because of that, made a huge impact on me well into my teen years. From 2006-2012, I waited patiently for Nintendo to release the complete library of my favourite titles from the SNES on the Virtual Console. And while they did pretty well, some games were never meant to be.

Sadly, some of these amazing games are also hard to find, making the SNES one of the most expensive consoles to retroactively collect for. Still, I'm going to do it, even if it takes a few years. What's awesome about new retro consoles is that they play European and Japanese games, so I can collect the weird little gems from overseas that used to only be playable as a rom.

So here's my list. 28 Super Nintendo titles. And please, if you believe there are games I'm tragically missing out on, let me know.

Chrono Trigger
Donkey Kong Country
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest
Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble
Earthbound (Eep, I know.)
Earthworm Jim
Earthworm Jim 2
Final Fantasy II
Final Fantasy III
Go Go Ackman 
Go Go Ackman 2
Go Go Ackman 3
Harvest Moon (Double eep.)
Legend of the Mystical Ninja
Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
Maui Mallard in Cold Shadow
Mega Man 7
Mega Man X
Mega Man X2
Mega Man X3
Pocky & Rocky
Pocky & Rocky 2
Ranma 1/2: Hard Battle
Secret of Mana
Super Mario Kart
Super Mario World
Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island
Super Metroid
TMNT IV: Turtles in Time

Edit: Added Super Metroid and Secret of Mana