Uziel126's forum posts

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Uziel126

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#1 Uziel126
Member since 2006 • 2994 Posts
[QUOTE="Uziel126"]

My Last Dollar

I cant remember where I spent my last dollar.
It shone like the stars, and it glowed with its power.
Perfectly formed, through polish and scour--
I can't remember where I spent my last dollar.

I walk on the streets, they think that it's funny
They do not know the value of money.
Emporers, dictators, knights and the clergy--
They knew well the might of the penny.

I miss my dollar, I want it so,
But I do not know where I have to go.
I journey through the sleet and the snow,
But I do not know where to go.

From Cairo to London, from Memphis to Mumbai
I travel the world, searching far and wide
All for a dollar I want with my heart
And the shop, the market, the cafe where it went.

I can't remember where I spent my last dollar
The taste in my mouth has become quite sour
And as my soul goes increasingly dour,
I can't remember where I spent my last dollar.

Foolz3h

"is nice".:D

Except the two bits in bold annoyed me a little, but that's probably just me.

It bugged me too... I'll probably edit it some more

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Uziel126

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#2 Uziel126
Member since 2006 • 2994 Posts

My Last Dollar

I cant remember where I spent my last dollar.
It shone like the stars, and it glowed with its power.
Perfectly formed, through polish and scour--
I can't remember where I spent my last dollar.

I walk on the streets, they think that it's funny
They do not know the value of money.
Emporers, dictators, knights and the clergy--
They knew well the might of the penny.

I miss my dollar, I want it so,
But I do not know where I have to go.
I journey through the sleet and the snow,
But I do not know where to go.

From Cairo to London, from Memphis to Mumbai
I travel the world, searching far and wide
All for a dollar I want with my heart
And the shop, the market, the cafe where it went.

I can't remember where I spent my last dollar
The taste in my mouth has become quite sour
And as my soul goes increasingly dour,
I can't remember where I spent my last dollar.

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Uziel126

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#3 Uziel126
Member since 2006 • 2994 Posts

[QUOTE="Blade_Tr4iner"]Insomnia perhaps :PEtherTwilight

My excuse this time is merely that you're all bastards.  One letter off.  One!  C to D, it's a simple mistake, and yet I hope you burn in bloody pus-spewing hell for all eternity for this transgression. :cry: 

Sorry... We're perfectionists... =). And if you say bloody pus-spewing hell, are you saying hell will be spewing bloody pus, or that hell is bloody and spews normal, whitish pus?

 Erm, back to story then...

I slowly surveyed my surroundings, hoping I would glean something-- anything that would allow me to deny the undeniable: I was in the Mal' Tom camp. Back where the whole god-damn business started. Damn me. It was at this moment that the creatures around me finally registered in my brain. Oh... no...

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Uziel126

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#4 Uziel126
Member since 2006 • 2994 Posts

As my vision gradually cleared, I saw what was in the box, and nearly dropped it. Shades! No wonder that... thing believes it's his! Inside the box were three tiny, perfectly formed, dwarves.

(Note to EtherTwilight: It's "emanating")

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Uziel126

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#5 Uziel126
Member since 2006 • 2994 Posts

I've been wondering- as a writer, do you prefer to use standardized characters and build upon current stereotyped images, do you take them and remake a new image of them, or do you go the whole hog and create a new set of species entirely?

For example, in case you haven't quite understood, let's say you're writing a fantasy story. The plot calls for a character well versed in magic. If you were a 'classic' author, you'd take a druid or a wizard and cast them as the 'good' character. If you were less orthodox, you would take a priest and put him in the role of an evil character. (although come to think of it, that's becoming more the rule in modern writings...) If you were the completely insane, brimming with creativity kind, you'd create a group of tribal S'ilRakash, who practice the dark art of Compehertu and make them fight for the hero who happens to be the FulRosh Amun. (only you make it sound cool)

Personally, I prefer to stick with the classic forms, like elf, dwarf, orc, black is black, white is white.

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Uziel126

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#6 Uziel126
Member since 2006 • 2994 Posts

What the heck is going on? I thought to myself. This was supposed to be an easy job... Get the box and go they said. Just get it back to us, they said. Now what? I remembered the weight across my back-- It was hard not to, as the weight was kicking and scratching me, all the while screeching, "My box! Mine! Give me my BOX!". Bewildered, tired and by that time, not a little hungry, I decided to propel myself off the box, dislodging that... dwarf.

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Uziel126

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#7 Uziel126
Member since 2006 • 2994 Posts

I only have this to say: Anatidaephobia

Those who read Gary Larson should have heard of this... This quote is quite true, ever heard of: Are you brave or just stupid?

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Uziel126

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#8 Uziel126
Member since 2006 • 2994 Posts
I like this poem. Interesting play on words, how did you get the inspiration?
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Uziel126

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#9 Uziel126
Member since 2006 • 2994 Posts

The very sentence "He was 180cm tall, 90kg heavy, with black hair, blue eyes, and white teeth" can be easily improved by adding similes. One other thing worth noting is that numbers should hardly ever appear in a description.

Here's an improved version (imo): He was certaintly tall, and his weight seemed to come from his muscle. His dark black hair reminded me of the dark starry night. His eyes-- they were bluer than the ocean. His smile was dazzling, and his teeth were nigh perfect....

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Uziel126

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#10 Uziel126
Member since 2006 • 2994 Posts

I read a lot, mostly fantasy and sci-fi... Used to read mysteries, but I got bored of them... Although Agatha Christie was quite good...

 There are two authors in the fantasy genre I admire, Raymond E. Feist and Terry Brooks, Feist for his Riftwar saga, and Brooks for the Shannara and Landover series. If you have the patience to go through a lot of pages, Robert Jordan's not too bad, and if you love Tolkien, Stephen Donaldson is almost as good.

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