Well, I've not had much time on my PC lately- withdrawls for sure! I love my PC's. I could surely use some game time on her (Yes, my PC -the one I'm on right now, the Alienware -is a girl :) Trust me. My XPS gaming rig I even named, that's "Big Mama" because she's a BIG Girl and she can surely lay the 'smack down' ;) PC's are like people to me & I talk to them (no I'm not high when I do it!), like a guy would talk to his car- I talk to my car also lol). O.K. sharing a little too much about myself here- moving right along.... lol....
Anyhow.... I'd surely like to spend more time gaming lately, could really use the escape a game provides. When reality sucks this bad, it's not a bad idea to jump into your favorite game world. Try to forget your real life for a little while, pretend it's all alright, and that things will work out in the end. Life is a lot less certain or secure. Let's just say if game rules applied to life right now, I'd be typing in a cheat code into my life to raise my health and increase my $.
*To my readers that have sent encouragement, and showed me patience and helped me find a way to laugh when I was going through some dark days you have my sincere thanks. I'm not all the way down my bumpy section of road yet, and it is still uncertain how long that part will last but I'm looking forward to some smooth sailing once I conquer whatever I have to to get there. I'm 110% fighter, always have been. I've had 2 near death experiences (both when I was in my 20's), I don't quit, so even though my health is suckish right now, it'll have to kick my a** hard if it wants me that bad, and that 'ain't too likely' ;)
*To my friends following along, a little update: Well, still have 2 tests to do, will give more answers, already don't like what I know, so hopefully I can get some good news for a change on the upcoming tests. I will be checked for cancer. I feel bad for my mother because even though I'm in my 30's, to your mother- you're always 'their baby' you know- so this is hard on her-harder on her than me to be honest. My father died and my only brother (older) died within 2 months of him, and I'm her last child, plus the youngest, so she is having a very hard time with all this. I was 29 when they died. It absolutely killed me outliving my older brother, like a part of me died too. I had to identify his body so our mother wouldn't have to, I managed not to cry- I'm not too proud to admit it took strong effort, but I knew I had to keep it together, if I would've walked back into the room a mess my mother would've lost it. I had my stone face on and kept it together, spent a little time with my brother before they began work on him (he was so messed up they told us we needed to do a closed casket- motorcycle accident- but we didn't), my broken brother lay there cold, I placed my hand on his arm, solid like steel now, rubbed his arm, told him a little something, looked back at his broken face one more time and delivered the news to our mother, that it was him, and I held her as she cried. --Anyhow, sorry, little distracted there, but that's a story for another time, if anyone is interested. I will tell it if I get any requests for it.
We have a strong family history of cancer in our family and I have at least 2 large masses- or growths, the upcoming tests will let us know if there are any others (I hope not!).Cancer or not, it will mean surgery. Matter of fact, even if it's not cancer, if you leave a growth in the body, it can turn cancerous, so they have to go. I have a good doctor, she's awesome. I've just been feeling so *ugh* lately, and missing my PC time. I can't wait until I feel better. First place I'll go is the ocean (there's salt water in these veins ;) ).