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Okay, why am I doing this? It's probably because I lost my mind after not writing a blog post and wrote a blog post so I could satisfy my need to write a blog post to put off my withdrawl from not writing a blog post for so long; also, why am I writing this if nothing substantial is being said? I mean, seriously.


WELL...I guess just ask me something in the comments?

Frail Women of Gaming: Chie Satonaka


Egads! The day has finally come where we can listen to some lady on the internet ramble on about women in video games on the Internet and create a discussion (just not on the video itself, mind you)! In celebration of this monumental event of making ~30-minute rants on the Internet, I have taken it upon myself to delve further into the seedy underbelly of the video gaming industry and take a close look at specific characters that are stereotypically subservient, helpless and, most importantly, frail. The first in line of this new (probably one-entry) series is Persona 4's own Chie Satonaka!


Chie Satonaka is one of the many frail women folk from the Sexistsona series, infamous for having women participate in battle while really fun, catchy music wails on in the background. However, what makes Chie so special is that she is a particularly strong case of frail, showing by far the most weakness out of any female character in the history of the JRPG genre, by far the most prominent example being her actions as a person.

Personality is something every non-COD character should have, and Chie has it in frail, helpless gusto. To make an abridged list, her traits include being addicted to sweet, delicious meat; watching kung-fu movies while being addicted to sweet, delicious meat; and kicking Yosuke in the crotch while being addicted to sweet, delicious meat. Indeed, her tendency to consistently pine over sweet, delicious meat is a subtle, yet incredibly obvious way of injecting a major weakness into her character and, as a result, her ability to battle in general. How would she be able to fight if there was no meat at the end of the tunnel? How would she be able to extort money out of Yosuke if she ultimately didn't get to sink her teeth into some meat? How could I make this sound even more sexually suggestive?

That's how!

Even though she does have a lot of meat on her personality, Chie's weakness for meat, like I said before, is part of her frailty. How can someone with a hopeless meat addiction ever function properly in society outside of being a kung fu master? Not being able to take up a profession downing meat and kicking people in the crotch would be nothing less than suicide for someone like Chie, making her tragic, but in a way that suggests the developers wanted to show how women are typically weak meat addicts who can't stop chomping on cuts. However, this is only the tip of the iceberg; what's more devious is how frail Chie is portrayed in combat.

Kicking is Chie's weapon of choice throughout everything ever, so it would make sense for her to do that in combat, right?

...well yeah, you're right. She does kick things in combat.

Chie shows the frailty of femininity by kicking Jungian psychology square in the testicles every chance she gets, which is why I ask: why kick amorphous blobs in the giblets anyway? Yes, I know she does high kicks quite often but why kick Yosuke in the daddy sack so often? Does she think that all the shadows equate to indirect representations of Yosuke's crotch? This highlights the fact that not only does Chie have a meat fetish, but she also can't stop thinking about Yosuke's happy place. I mean come on, why else would they act like an old married couple?

ANYWAY, back to combat: Chie, unlike all the others, has an incredibly weak special attack that displays how frail she i-

Okay, never mind. I take that back. My word, she's probably the most macho woman I've ever seen in a video game. I mean look at that, seriously! If you skipped over that video, press play and marvel at the content. No seriously, I'll wait.




Done now?

Okay, you saw that, right? Holy crapola, that was amazing! Chie is such a marvelous example of sexism gone totally right in video games!

Hrm, what do you all think of Chie Meatonaka?

Micronspiracy Plans Bad PR Campaign to Advertise Dogs

Oh boy oh boy, what's all this talk about that big black rectangle with a separate rectangle doing more things now? If you haven't guessed by now, the new Xbox has been completely re-done because everyone wasn't satisfied with cute mocap doggies they could pet in the middle of a grenade barrage with motion sensing technology. To be completely honest, Xdog didn't have much going for it besides an adorable doggie dressed up like a four-legged flanker because everything else its kennel did was intrusive, cruel, or just felt like a pain in the tuckus.

Don't get me wrong, I like dogs. C'mon, I do cue the dog video:

But, however much I like doggies, being able to only share your game with, erm, I'm not actually clear on how any of that worked...maybe you were supposed to take a digital copy and send it over Nintendo Live so Shigeru Miyamoto would look at it and laugh because you didn't buy the superior Virtual Boy? Yeah, that's how it works. ANYWAY, there were even more issues with Microslap's new system that caused everyone to foam at the mouth like Old Yeller (R.I.P.), particularly the need to carry it downstairs to hook it up to your modem every day.

While I do support efforts to get people to exercise with something gaming-related outside of Kinect, not everyone was willing to fiddle with wires all day to only have their copy of Call of Snoopy get tapeworms. Further penalizing gamers, the police would come over to have you arrested for neglect, but then would laugh at you (while working you over with Wiimotes) before forcing you to play the newest Kinect-only Steel Battalion game. Everything (and I do mean everything) was looking bad for Microsoft fans and/or casual acquaintances.

That is, until I realized something.

The recent news of removing some of the console's S&M gear gave me the distinct impression that everyone at Microsoft just really wanted to show how cute dogs are. Think about it, did you stare slack-jawed at the screen when the sub-par TVriffic reveal unfolded, somehow unable to click away? You watched the whole thing, right?

Don't say no, I will end you.

Indeed, it was a cunning plan to get us all to notice the Dog of Doodie Dog so that dog lovers would help boost the console's sales to sky-high proportions; all due to the simple fact that everyone loves dogs. A cunning strategy that only few seem to realize, this new form of viral marketing is taking the pet world by negligible amounts of excitement, raising awareness of such smash-hit games like Tokyo Jungle and Dog's Life.


a.k.a. "Air Bud: The Game"

Gaming will never be the same after the adoption of Barky Killer 7 Duty to your home dog biscuits and, with all hope, we will see next-gen dogaming take the world by adorable.


Yeah, this is the end of the entry. Oh poop, I forgot I don't have an outro statement.

A Little Notice Regarding Time and Whatever

Heya, everyone! If you're reading this, there's a good chance you are one of the 900-ish people who tracked me and caused me to track back! By the way, if you tracked me and haven't gotten a notice I tracked you back, I tried but GS's friending system is a silly pile of dookie butter.

Site glitches aside, I thought I'd take a quick second to let you all know what's going to happen with me this year and how it'll affect my time on GS. Yeah yeah, I know I'm not on here a lot anymore as is, but I wanted to make a non-editorial blog for the first time in forever and thought this would be a good chance to speak from, keyboard.

Some time 'round the start of September, I'm gonna be starting my Master's program for Library Sciences and, because a Master's degree is commonly known to sap one's social life (including the pretend ones) completely, I'll be even rarer than usual. Don't worry all about 10-ish of you regular readers, I'll be able to Soapbox whenever I feel like it because a fun fact is that a vast majority of my soapboxes are spontaneously written with no real editing or preparation to speak of (you probably noticed anyway maybe but whatever). To be frank, I treat them like writing exercises so I can keep myself from falling into dumbitude. But yeah, this is probably all just dumb stuff anyway.

On a side note: it's fun to look back on my first soapboxes from '08. Man, I was a TERRIBLE writer back then and if you call me a terrible writer now I swear to God I will cut you. Something else to note is that my entries from way back had over ten times the amount of commenters...maybe I should be dumb?

Also also, I looked at my earliest blog posts and holy hot poop, I want to punch myself. Yeesh.

Okay, I'm rambling now and this really isn't funny.

Guess I'll click that submit button now.

The Hottest New Gaming Console! EXCLUSIVE!


First off, let me say I appreciate you all giving me feedback on the Chinese Knock-Off Gaming blog. I considered making it into an editorial series and plan to do another one some time in the future! So yup, I greenlighted myself or something. But seriously, thank you for your feedback, regardless if you liked it or not (or just thought it was okay). Anywho, on to the next subject:


Ever since the dawn of humans, there has been a drive to innovate, dominate and consummate. However, people have had trouble combining all three without the use of questionable substances and flexible ethics, trying once in the 1960s with the practice of "free love," and once again in the 1980s with the widespread trend of "fresh powder" and something called "synthesizers." Lately, though, there has been a severe lack of sexily-dominant innovation. Gone are the days of "good vibrations," "pet rocks," and "quotation marks." How will anyone innovate? How will anyone dominate? How will anyone sexy?

Today is the day everything changes! TODAY is the day where folks will be able to combine their need for the new, the ultimate and the sexually attractive!

TODAY, I present you with:


Some crap from the 90's that not a lot of people outside Japan owned!

Yes, gamers today are striving for something new, something hot, something they want to make sweet, sensual love to. Well too bad, get sad; the new generation of consoles are more interested in having relations with your pocketbook than your pretty little mass of gray matter! However, there's plenty of innovative sexy dominance to be had with the amazing Some crap from the 90's that not a lot of people outside Japan owned:

First and foremost, gaze upon those hunks of corded plastic at the bottom of the image: these newold devices called "wired controllers" allow the player to hold something in their hand that manipulates the image on-screen and, most impressive of all, there are absolutely no batteries or recharges required! The old-school design allows players to believe they're playing an old, outdated console because THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE DOING YOU STUPID IDIOT! Get ready for the future yesterday with the ability to control poorly-rendered 3D characters on your spankin'-new CRT! As any gamer worth their weight in cartridges knows, though, controllers are not everything. There's also menus!

Tired of menus? Tired of having to start the system up, select the game tab, then select the game to play the game inside the thing that plays your games so you can play a game? With the all-old SCFT90TNALOPOJO, all you have to do is use your finger or equivalent appendage on the seductive "power button" and you'll get a little swishy animation, followed by the game thing you put in!

(game things you put in sold separately on e-bay for high prices)

But gamers, true gamers, I'm talking about the kind of people who would honestly find it completely awesome to actually be a game, want more than a controller that's not going to run out of battery power when the ******* boss has just one-half a bar of health left after you've spent all ******* day just trying, I mean REALLY trying, to get it so you can 100% the game and be done with it (****); and a start-up screen immediately followed by the game. Yes, true gamers want that thing you put in there that has the game in it!


Oh heck yeah, you know you want a game copy. With this piece of 90's dinosaur crap, you will be able to take a disc and play it RIGHT AWAY! That's right, no installs, no patches (even though sometimes you wish there was one)! SCREW THAT NOISE, you want to just start playing video games so you have a good excuse to snack on junk food! Boy oh boy, does this thing have games, too:

You want a Japanese dating sim where you're hitting on Japanese high school girls like a creepy old man minus the creepiness of hitting on real Japanese high school girls? YOU GOT IT!

You want a poorly-rendered adventure game with voice acting done by people who you suspect have severe speech imp-imped-problems and/or brain injuries? COMIN' RIGHT UP!

You want a side-scrolling shooter where you play as a mess of blobs shooting at giant husks of corn while wacky music plays? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU BUT YEAH WE GOT IT!

You want it, you silly person

Social networking is also something that exists but who cares, you just want to share these wonderful games with someone! Your buddy wants a game copy, too. However, your buddy is far too poor and jobless and moochy and probably is stealing from your wallet when you're not looking to afford the cool games. How do you solve this problem? Easy, you lend him the game and he can play it! That's right, you don't have to have them pay a fee or break their legs for stealing $20 from your stash (the latter is recommended, though), you just have to give them the game and it plays! JUST LIKE A REAL GAME!

With all these dominant sexy innovations, the old hunk of Japanese plastic from the 90's is by far the biggest bang for your buck. For only about $40-50 used at some used game store or online retailer, you will be able to enjoy all the obscure games of yesterday, today!

I look forward to you enjoying old stuff and complaining about the graphics!

Chinese Knock-Off Gaming: Pikachu Y2K

Gaming has evolved quite a bit over the years, hasn't it? Big franchises have popped up like fleas on a mangy junkyard mutt and, like fleas, there are some black sheep (or black fleas, whatever I dunno) in the family that are considered completely foreign from their family. Case in point: Chinese knock-off games.

Chinese knock-offs span every category of product, so it's probably not going to shock you that games are not exempt from its scope. However, what's really shocking is what kind of bizarre, crappy, and sometimes even cool games you can find on the Chinese knock-off market. The first in this series of spotlights is a fun little platformer called Pikachu Y2K:


Pikachu Y2K is, in all essence, a classic Mario-styIe platformer starring the titular electric pocket monster mouse thing. Going by the aforementioned description, you'd think that this all would be a fun, neat little game that, in essence, would give you a generic experience. HA, joke's on you: this game is nuttier than squirrel feces.

First off, Pikachu Y2K doesn't immediately drop you into the action. To start off with, you're given a short cutscene in which a mad scientist and his pet cat phone Pikachu at his home because they want a magic purse back. Oh, by the way: did I mention that the text says that Pikachu's real name is Felix?


So, er, I guess Pikachu will now be referred to as "Felix?"

After promptly hanging up and using the force to reel in his magical purse, Felixchu sets out on an adventure to...erm...not try to let the mad scientist guy get the bag from him? Honestly, he could have just stayed home and called the cops on him, leading to an arrest and avoiding all the ensuing nonsense but hey, I'm talking about a Chinese knock-off 8-bit platformer so why should I be caring so much?

Anywho, Pikachu Y2K's gameplay is pretty standard platforming fare, ridiculous premise aside. Sadly, it's a little sub-par for a side-scrolling platformer since its rules aren't very in line with Mario, as you can die from jumping on enemies. With stomping on their heads out of the equation, how can Felix-the-Pikachu deter people from snatching his purse?

The purse, of course!

Yes, instead of jumping on enemies, PikaFelix disposes of his foes via a Tom and Jerry-styIe boxing glove that pops out from his bag of wonders.


The animation doesn't include the bag, though...

 Given all this, the game seems pretty disappointing, right? Well, what makes Pikachu Y2K a little bit cooler is the ability to collect power-ups that transform the bag into various weapons such as singing, driving a car, riding an air balloon, and even driving a freaking tank.


Also, it shoots bombs with faces.

Take a moment to soak all this in: there's Felixchu in that image up there driving a tank in a happy pixelated 8-bit world. Yes, there exists a game where you can actually play as Pikachu driving a tank. Why hasn't anyone thought of this before? Seriously, the war game market is virtually untapped for the entire Pokemon franchise and here you have the Chinese knock-off market taking the initiative while Nintendo sits on their duffs, scratches their heads, and puts out a Gamecube game consisting entirely of watching fake television shows with Pikachu all day. Y'know, because we really need something like THAT on the market, while the idea of Tankemon goes completely over their heads. In a way, this instantly makes Pikachu Y2K better than a good deal of the franchise's official games from recent years.

Aside from the brilliant idea of putting Pikachu in a freaking tank, the rest of the game, like I said before, is pretty generic. The regular enemies aren't even other Pokemon, just some stupid little bird sprites and regular fishes...though there are a few walking trees here and there for no real reason. Ents aside, there isn't really that much to talk about in terms of enemy design and, on that note, there isn't much to say about the level layout. Really, the only thing on showcase here is how bizarre the overall premise of the game is and, beyond that, it's a sub-par platformer.

One last thing, though: the Game Over screen kind of bugs me:


...What's in that garbage can to the left? Seriously, can anyone give me an idea? I don't have one.


Graphics: 8 - Pretty decent representation of Pikachu. Besides, the entire thing's running on an NES, so I'm not that picky.

Sound: 6 - There's a fun little tune in the first level, then it repeats in the second, the third, fourth....yeah.

Gameplay: 6 - It's functional, but there's no pizzazz beyond the power-ups.


Overall: 7 - It's worth checking out for about an hour, but not farther beyond that.

So that's all for Pikachu Y2K! Be sure to stay tuned for more showcased Chinese knock-off games!

(also, please someone tell me what's in that garbage can)

Kindergarten Killer - A Review


Lately, there has been a great deal of controversy surrounding the industry of gunsmoke-promoting murder-death that is video games, a point brought out by the friendly people at the NRA. However, in citing specific games that caused the shooter to murder innocent children and shoot fireballs at people, one was listed that I (and I assume many others) have never heard of before: Kindergarten Killer.


Kindergarten Killer is a flash game made by ZSOA, in which the player takes the role of a janitor who is given the task of cleaning up a kindergarten filled to the brim with armed tykes. The following is a basic description provided by the developer:

Kindergarten Killer is a fighting game in which you play as a janitor to clear as many stages as you can. At first you can choose your levels with different health numbers. Click on the start button you will see many kids appearing from different places and the kids will come out more and more as you go further into their base. Aim with the mouse and shoot with the left mouse button. Shoot the kids quickly before they shoot you. Your health goes down if you get shot. You will get health bonuses after each level. With the stages you clear, you will meet the big boss, and shoot him at his head to go to the next stage. And you will meet not only kids but also policeman as your enemy. Look out for health boxes like a key with a plus sign on it, if you shoot them they will give you +20 plus. - ZSOA

As appealing as shooter games are nowadays, can something like Kindergarten Killer stand on its own as a successful IP in a sea of similar shooters like Call of Duty and Super Mario Sunshine? Most would likely agree that such an original concept would draw in both storied veterans of the genre as well as fresh faces but, as Kindergarten Killer proves, an original concept can be squandered by poor gameplay.

The story of Kindergarten Killer puts the player in the shoes of a white-haired (and seemingly senile) janitor who, bored with the constant trifles of cleaning up vomit and smelling the acrid stench of poorly-cooked meatloaf, decides to take matters into his own hands and cleanse a surprisingly well-armed school of its myriad gun-toting toddlers. Considering all the characters involved, I would have expected the story to further develop from its introduction but, as with many modern shooters, the story falls to the wayside almost immediately in order to single-mindedly focus on the action, which is quite a shame considering how many questions the initial setting leaves for players: Who is this guy really? Why do the kids all have guns? Why do some of them have aviator sunglasses and never need to reload? Sadly, none of the aforementioned inquiries are given any time as the game delves straight into its worst aspect: gameplay.

Considering the game in question is a simple flash affair, the gameplay and graphics are nothing special to speak of. In fact, the two aforementioned aspects are so minuscule and lackluster that nothing interesting can truly be said about it. Essentially, Kindergarten Killer takes the point-and-click, on-rails approach to shooters, an archaic concept that, beyond Killer7, has never been utilized in a positive way since the early 90s. Every single area in the game is the same boorish, plain hallway with maybe a staircase placed in the background to spice things up (albeit in the most minimal way possible) and the way in which you move around the map is nonsensical, sometimes going into a building and then exiting it after one floor...only to exit it, go in again, and go to the next floor. Clearly, the developer wanted to convey that the main character had Alzheimer's but, due to the lack of substantial narrative, this conclusion only came about by way of speculation. In fact, the children themselves seemed to have interesting backstories but the game never really considers telling the player.

The children, though not varied immensely in design, do have some interesting habits of pointing guns at the player while wearing sunglasses and, somehow, are only able to die in a single way no matter where they are hit (the only variant being what they look like relating to how they die). Every single one of the children are quick shooters, giving the player no time to breathe which, by the way, adds greatly to the overall difficulty of the experience. However, I would have liked to know how this was possible? There was a prime opportunity for some exposition (perhaps between levels?) but no such effort was made, giving the player only more room to guess as to what was really going on. Lastly, as said before, the difficulty of the game is something that detracts quite a bit from the overall quality.

Though probably designed as a challenge game, Kindergarten Killer is very difficult to play when you only use a laptop mouse and can't really figure out the controls that well because of it. I will admit that I started out on the Easy difficulty, but even then the game was incredibly difficult to play, even during the first level. Indeed, the difficulty is something that will vary the mileage you will have with this particular title.

Overall, Kindergarten Killer, though being a prime example of how big-budget game studios are funding poorly-designed flash game development, is...well actually, it really is an unenjoyable game. I would not recommend it to anyone looking for a good time and, instead, would point to more interesting examples such as Kitten Cannon.


Graphics: F - Nothing but doodles everywhere.

Sound: F - No interesting music to speak of and the sound effects are all the same.

Gameplay: D - Though the controls are easy to figure out, the experience is too repetitive to warrant a decent grade.

Fun: D - Its approach as a concept game adds some intrigue, but not past one try.

Overall: D-

Kindergarten Killer is a game that, despite wanting to show how evil a game can be, is nothing more than a gallery shooter with a fingerpaint coat.

Hey everyone, check out what I have to say about sexism!

Boy oh boy, it's been a long time hasn't it? I can't really remember the last time I fired up my writingtyping fingers but I'm glad I did, for I will educate the Gamespot masses about how to properly think about sexism in video game play thingys. However, before anything else, I would like to address that this blog is not something to be taken seriously, but I would really like it if you did because I mean every single last word of the following blog post.


Sexism is something that has been around since the dawn of bra burning, when the first woman who was tired of sitting in the back of the bus climbed atop the blue line to Montgomery Ave. and declared all notions of gender differences moot; culminating in an event that scientists usually call "that crazy woman atop the bus waving around something on fire and making everyone really nervous." Later on, in the days of Jimmy Carter, sexism would evolve into looking back at Humphrey Bogart films and sneering at his suave, attractive demeanor, a practice that can still be observed to this day whenever Casablanca comes on public television.

Today, sexism is known as not really liking the a person who doesn't have the same dangly (or non-dangly...or kinda dangly?) parts as you, making it akin to racism but with dangly/non-dangly/halfway-dangly things (which will be grouped together as "doongleys" for the sake of convenience).

Doongley Hate and Video Games

Doongleys in video games have been something that has been discussed numerous times over the history of some YouTube videos and article comments, as this graph clearly shows:


The inclusion of lines is clearly indicative of their tendency to zigzag, showing how attitudes toward doongleys have changed over time; the top and bottom lines being an exercise in individual interpretation as to who is on top and who is on the bottom. Come to think of it, I think I kind of see strange images from the two lines, but that is clearly none of my concern as the most accurate interpretation of the graph's content comes from the fact that I'm dragging this on too long.

Video games and lady peoples are one of the hottest issues in sexism today (if you're into that kind of thing) with prime examples being Bayonetta, Master Chief and Q-Bert. Bayonetta, in terms of how she stands in the grand scheme of gender equality, is somehow seen as a detriment to the image of women because she never cuts her hair (making her get really bad gigantic dragon tangles that eat godzilla villians) when, in reality, she is clearly a misunderstood Jeanne d'Arc for her time, showing that she can be almost completely naked all the time and bouncing around with her sweet, round...


erm, where was I? Oh, right: Master Chief. Master Chief is seen as an additional detriment to the state of women in video games because he sets the standard for men to completely cover themselves up and still somehow make a lot of money off teenage boys, unlike Samus who needs to take her turtle shell suit off every once in a Team Ninja to sell some copies. Quite frankly, I don't see how this is sexist due to the fact that it's more homophobic than anything, what with all the homosexual epithets hurled like candy in a parade when you go online. If there's any Sexism to be had in Halo 4: Never Showing Your Faceathon, it's that Cortana isn't completely stark naked with glowy things on her chest to make her look like Madonna covered in neon paint. On that note, I am forced to talk about my last subject: Q-Bert.

Q-Bert is the most disgusting example of sexism in the entire gaming universe (in fact, maybe in everything ever). Q-Bert, as everyone knows him, is a ball with legs who clearly resembles the male end of the doongley spectrum, hopping around like a territorial, testosterone-filled jerk who has to obsessively make sure that everything is the same color because he also happens to be a racist.


(not to mention the swearing)

How, in today's world, can something like Q-Bert be seen as acceptable, even making its way into beloved Disney movies like Wreck-it-Ralph? I, for one, was appalled at his inclusion in the film, showing that the industry simply wants a paycheck and doesn't care that they're pushing a racist, misogynistic, profanity-spewing sphere with legs onto newer generations of child persons. Indeed, the future looks bleak.


Sexism in the video game industry is something that will continue to persist whether you like it or not, given that there will always be somebody who will cry injustice on even the smallest of things. I mean sure, there's Dead or Alive with all the women having gigantic, heaving, oh...oh yea-erm what I mean yeah objectifying women is bad but hey, what can be done about it? I guess there would have to be an influx of women in the industry, but even that doesn't matter when most of the consumer base with the most money are those guys who keep yelling means things at me every time I go online to play one round of a game because, you know, I had a long day and need to relax, I don't need the same crap at the office happening to me when I get home, I mean come on.

Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, doongleys or something. Keep an eye on yours and don't hate other people for theirs.

Have a nice day or else I will be sad.

Oh hey wow, look at that

I got up to 63, which was the biggest level way back when if I recall correctly. Now I'm way up there on the level progression but I really don't know what it does. Am I able to take more damage? Do I get the ability to do more damage to lower-level users? Do I get to gain that ability to be cheap and store more mana by getting hit so I can use healing skills repeatedly to heal damage that gives me more mana so I can heal myself like so many adamantium walls?

WELL, maybe it makes me a more respectable member of the commupfffffffffffffthaha, couldn't finish that sentence.

Wait wait, I know: it means that I spent a lot of time on here.

Well that sounds rather boring.

Such is life, I guess.


Well maybe not.

I dunno.

OH RIGHT, I forgot to mention that the new comment system is doodie since I'm not able to check on comments in any of the blogs I made before the new system got set in place. Perhaps that won't happen with this blog.

I hope.


Apparently I've comboed enough here to get the highest rank, making me stylish.

Wow, this blog was a lot shorther than I expected, so I have nothing siginificant to type about. Erm, well I've been doing more work in college but that's nothing new since I think I've talked about that for the previous three or four entries or something like that. In fact, what the hell have I been doing with my life that's worth noting as new? Welp, nothing much I guess.

In fact, one could say that I'm pretty bored at the moment, considering all the monotony surrounding me.

OH, well I guess I could complain that it's even more of a slap in the face that the Soapbox got removed from the front page now that Gamespot's writers have taken up the editorial writing, most likely because of summer gaming news slump or something like that. I never really understood why they essentially killed this feature, but it's even more of a mystery that this site's writers are creating Op-Eds of mid-to-low quality, some even making me wonder why I haven't been hired by this place as a paid contributor yet.

No seriously, I have a little background from some pro bono game journalism on other places and it looks like what they write is nothing but complaining/advocating with no real analysis to speak of (the nature of Op-Eds, but hey it can get annoying if you grandstand too much without getting some facts in), and mostly on the same topics repeatedly. Also, the definition of "art" in regard to video games is something I've been more often than not opposed to due to their general application that "OH YOU SHOULDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING CUZ VIDEO GAMES SHOULDN'T HAVE INCREASED MALLEABILITY IN COMPARISON TO OTHER ART FORMS" and things like that. Really, they need to stop treating video games the same as movies and music because, after all, that does well for the legal definition of video games, but not the artistic.

To calirfy: the definition of "art" is very different in law than it is in the artistic community. In law, the definition alludes to something that has some sort of value to society, which video games certainly do by way of being able to tell a narrative through interactive means, as well as perpetuate and enrich cultures such as sports and racing, games of which tend to lack narrative on the same depth as action/adventure games and the like; while video games in the artistic community is more concerned with looking on how the form can be manipulated and used to convey a message, and an affective one at that. Stories that fall short on delivery or are about meatheads chainsawing things are viewed as lesser quality as a piece of art than a game with an intricate narrative.

And now this is the part where Mass Effect 3 has to be shoehorned in.

Mass Effect, being a role-playing series in general, is under more scrutiny than, say, Madden 2013 because of the concept of character development being central to the game's overall experience, which then by extension leads into the application of events and their relation to such development (a guy getting shot creates a lot of heavy drama, etc.). This means that the ending, because it has apparently fallen flat in variety and answering plot inquiries, degrades the state of the game as art, thus leading to the conclusion that, through the malleability of the medium, the ending should be changed to increase its artistic value, but then there's debate about business.

Honestly, the right thing for EA to do is to make alternate endings that have been demanded as free DLC if the change should be purely artistic. Then again, this is a company and they need profits so really, the limit should be one dollar for the new endings, given that the amount of people who bought the game would equal a recoup in losses of labor for creating a cinematic.

So, that's basically what SHOULD happen, but then hey when has my advice every been stringently followed in the video game industry?

Also, making this an editorial because only two or three people ever regularly contribute on the thing anyway.

(also because this is about Gamespot and how they view video games as art I guess)