I don't know why exactly, but the horrible lies and slander that Egonga has been spreading simply cannot continue. For the last five years I have represented you all as your Blog Representative with pride. I have done my absolute best for this site and all of you, and there is nothing that I would like to do more for all of you than to continue doing as such. I do this for you, the members of GameSite. I mean, GameSpot. I apologize, they say that when you take as many pills as I do it affects your mem- I mean, let's move on.
How can any of us trust someone like Egonga? I've stood up for this site with pride over my term. I hear that he comes from an entirely different country. How can any of us stand by someone like that? I hear that he drives on the other side of the road, that which none of us dare tread. What on Earth could that possibly lead to? Imagine if one of us was to approach as normal while he was committing this act, what would happen then? I shudder to think. And he'd take bribes from outsiders too so that they could take advantage of your freedoms! And he'd do it for less than market value! What an outrage! I always make sure to charge them more than they think it's wo- I mean, forget what I just said.
When it comes down to it, I'm totally responsible for everything good that goes on here. Do you know who it was that brought the Internet into the twenty-first century? That's right, it was me! I'm the one responsible for that spiffy icon you click to connect to the Internet in the first place. I hear that Egonga has been conspiring with seedy types to take the thrill out of the Internet and send us all the way back to text-only sites and annoying MIDI music that you can't stop without turning off your speakers. Did you know that you can all thank me for your personal information being sold to the Chinese as part of a larger plan to steal American nuclear secrets? Well I'm not, I just wanted to make that clear.
Egonga has spent these last five years being a fly in the buttermilk or eggs on toast or whatever the Hell it is he says. I've spent the last five years gambling with public funds at casinos and forget what I just said. I've spent the last five years looking out for you, gentle user. I've spent it making sure that the only people who can bring harm to you are the ones willing to offer top dollar, I mean the ones who would never do so and can be completely trusted with the power to do so which they would never use and only for good if they were forced to do so. If I'm re-elected I promise to help to bring the Internet even farther into the future, to the point where you can actually get inside websites and stuff. Also, I promise to do this for zero extra dollars and also somehow make the Internet smell like fresh dasies.
So ask yourself, is it really worth dooming yourselves and voting for Egonga? Or is it really worth dooming yourselves and voting for me? There's only one real choice GamersSpot, and that's to vote for you-know-who. That's me I mean. Man, these pills really mess you u- I mean vote for me, I'm the guy you can trust.