RAW wasn't so great tonight. There were a couple of filler matches, and a few ludicrous "plot twists" that were utterly stupid. On the plus side, Santino won a match and I found out that Victoria likes to walk around naked backstage (though not by watching RAW). Anyway, this is what happened:
Regal announces JBL as Orton's Backlash opponent for the World Heavyweight Title. But then HHH comes out and demands a match with Orton for the Title. So Regal decides that if Hunter can defeat Orton and JBL in a handicap match, then he can face Randy for the Title in a triple-threat match at Backlash.
Umaga flattens Val Venis.
Ashley and Mickie James defeat Melina and Jillian Hall. Hey, they're admitting that Mickie still exists!
Paul London and Brian Kendrick defeat Cade and Murdoch. This makes me happy.
It's time for our main event! Y.... wait, what? It's not even the end of the first hour yet! Well anyway, Hunter wins! Surprise! But then John Cena comes out! Bigger surprise! And he wants to be in the World Heavyweight Title match at Backlash, even though he's lost to Randy Orton at two consecutive Pay-Per-Views! Then he makes another joke about the homosexuals, for you see, this is the height of comedy. Half of the crowd (the non-female part) is against him the entire time here. Well guess what? Regal gives him his opportunity! SURPRISE AGAIN! Only he has to defeat HHH and JBL in another handicap match! Huge surprise there!
Santino Marella and Carlito defeat Bob Holly and Cody Rhodes. Santino doesn't talk, which sucks.
Cryme Tyme sell "Wrestlemania memorabilia." Har har.
Beth Phoenix crushes Maria.
On this week's edition of "The Highlight Reel," HBK and Batista confront each other over HBK retiring Ric Flair at Wrestlemania. Batista insists that no matter what Michaels may say, he did it for the ability to brag about being the person who retired Ric Flair. This comes down to Batista saying he'll never trust Shawn again, and informing us that he's "done something about it." Whatever that means.
So our new main event is Cena versus JBL and HHH. Well guess what? CENA WINZ CENA WINZ. I'll bet this totally takes you by surprise. And Orton interferes and some crap like that. End program.
So, like I said, some random matches of no importance and Cena's in the main event again. Not much of a show. But they don't have to hype Wrestlemania anymore, so I guess they've stopped trying for another year. Put Victoria in Playboy dammit.