Robbie_IV / Member

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I'm 'it' apparently.

Now, I didn't know what that meant, so I had to not care. Then after sitting around for a few days I inadvertantly found out what it meant. At least I think I know what it means. Usually when I tell people things about myself they tell me to shut up because nobody cares. Yet now when I have the opportunity I am a bit taken aback. I don't think there's anything interesting to write about. Perhaps I should write this when I'm not exhausted and slightly out of my mind. But of course I might think better of this if I wait until tomorrow. Let's see, uh.....

1. I've been known to oversleep, by which I mean that if I don't awake to discover a new civilization has taken root while I slept, I go back to bed.

2. I've never touched a woman, by which I mean that I literally have never touched a female. Ever. I was born inside a mechanical womb in a laboratory somewhere in New Mexico, and things just kinda never worked out from there. This is a requirement to become a moderator though, that's why I made it all the way to "Senior mod" and now have a badge to show the world. Far better than human contact, I've actually come to the realization that the outside world is in fact a lie, and that while the rest of you out there will have your pretty illusions, I and the rest of the mod staff have this website, which is in fact real.

3. I don't bother looking when I drive anymore. Instead I try to make a game out of how many people I can cut off on my way to wherever I'm going. I've managed to rank myself and compensate for the difference in time with different trips by coming up with a new statistic, which I call "Cut-Offs Per Minute" or CO/M. My highest CO/M rate was 2.3 on August 23rd, 2006, on a trip to a post office. Not my local post office either.

4. My grades are actually pretty good. I can't figure out why. I have a sneaking suspicion that they just give you credit if you actually do the work.

5. I am left-handed, left-leaning, and often left behind when other people go off to have "fun" with each other. But if they run out of people to complain to, they always come to me as a last resort. How will I ever make it on the Internet?

I hope this has been enlightening. Or eye-opening. If you feel like calling the police, that's probably normal.