Robbie_IV / Member

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Egonga isn't a vampire you guys.

I have proof, and you know what that is? Check the part of his story when he says that Alcuard was floating everywhere. Well you know what? Vampires don't float everywhere MR. EGONGA! There is a long recorded history of Vampires who use means of locomotion other than floating to travel. Many vampires have been spotted walking on both feet. Some have wings. But floating? I think not. The average vampire has been known to float only once or twice a day, and almost always for a distance of no more than five feet or less, as recent studies have shown. In fact, recent census data indicates that only 15% of the vampire population described themselves as "floating" as opposed to "non-floating."

So guess that without this simple little detail your story falls apart, doesn't it Mr. Egonga? I mean really, if you lied about floating vampires then what else did you lie about, hmm? If you never saw the vampire float, then we can't really be sure that you told the truth about anything he did once you were in the castle. And if we can't be sure that what happened inside the castle was true, well, then we can't be sure that there ever was a castle in the first place, can we? And if we can't be sure that you ever went to a castle, how do we know there was a village? Or townspeople? How do we know that any of this happened at all? How do we not know whether or not you just gussied up a story about your trip to the grocery store? Huh?

We don't, and that's why I can safely call you a liar Mr. Egonga. You're nothing but a common non-vampiric person, probably fully able to walk around in the sunlight and so on. In fact, I don't think you even knew what a vampire was before last week. Care to dispute this? Well then try PROVING this wild tale of floatation and bad poetry of yours Mr. Egonga. There are a million different websites you could've pulled that from. This is the age of myspace and stupid goth websites where twelve year-olds in horrible makeup post terrible poetry for the entire world to mock them for. You could've taken that from any one of them! So where are you now sir? Nowhere, that's where! Mr. Not-A-Vampire Egonga.