Tonight.... tonight wasn't very good. It was supposed to be the return of the "RAW Roulette," but that was a huge dissapointment tonight. So instead we got around two hours of dissapointment and one final match that pretty much saved the show. Oh, but enough about that.
The show begins when Vince shows off the RAW Roulette reel and reveals that William Regal is going to be facing Hunter in first blood match. Then Hunter beats up Regal.
Shawn Michaels and Ken Kennedy team up to defeat Charlie Haas (who puts on a mask midway through the match for some reason), and Trevor Murdoch. But Kennedy and Michaels can't get along, so Kennedy knocks out Michaels.
Bob Holly and Carlito face each other while dressed as each other. Dumb, basically. Bob Holly wins because he don't job to no foreigners.
Maria's going to be in an all-lengerie pillow fight. Don't worry though, her boobs, I mean pillows, are all natural! What hilarious comedy.
The main event is going to be Jeff Versus Umaga in a steel cage. The roulette decreeth so.
The lengerie thing involves Maria and Ashley and some other random Divas and Ashley wins.
Hunter beats Regal in a sorta-okay First Blood match. Then he pedigrees him. Thecrowd really gets on Regal here, dispite him saving Ric Flair's career last week and all that. They all sound like a bunch of women and prepubescent lads, by the way.
Santino tells Hornswoggle that if he were to tag team with Hornswoggle, they should hire Count Chocula and make their match a six-man contest. The line of the night ladies and gentlemen, the line of the night.
Jericho is supposed to be facing JBL and Snitsky in a handicap match, but a DQ happens really fast and JBL strangles Jericho with a random electric cable for a few minutes instead. On the plus side, this means we have to see neither JBL nor Snitsky wrestle.
Hornswoggle comes out for a tag match with the Highlanders. The stipulation is that if he wins he and his tag partner get entered into the Royal Rumble. And his partner is..... B.K. Jordan? Who the Hell is B.K. Jordan! No wait, it's Mick Foley! So long B.K. Jordan. So Micksingle-handedly defeats the Highlanders and now he and Hornswoggle are in the Royal Rumble.
Jeff is here to face Umaga in a steel cage. Randy Orton comes out to walk around outside the ring and stare at Jeff. Oh, but the match is actually really good. Far more violent than you'd think they'd allow in front of both women and the children that they overprotect. But then the clincher comes when Jeff does the Whisper in the Wind from the top of the cage directly onto a standing Umaga, seemingly knocking Umaga out and giving Jeff the victory. Randy looks shocked while Jeff sits on top of the cage. End program.
So there you have it. Almost two hours of garbage, followed by a very good main event with a, dare I say, unbelieveable finish. Basically what the WWE promises out of every one of their matches and so very rarely delivers. I'd watch the show just for the main event if I were you, and I don't say that very often (especially with so many main events being lame tag matches and non-finishes). It was, uh... how would you say... good.