Robbie_IV / Member

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Robbie_IV Blog

I think I've made this clear before....

I can't get the Hardy's names straight. Ever. In the history of the universe, I have never once been able to get their names right. Not even after looking up their proper monikers have I been able to do so. I usually think of them as "the one who's on drugs" (the one who comes out covered in fluorescent facepaint) and "the one who probably isn't" (the one who got involved in that horrible "Kane marries Lita" storyline). Next week I start referring to them as "Frank" and "Joe."

I'm glad we've all got this sorted out now. Except me.

The RAW Review, 01/24/08 Edition *Spoilers*

Well, this week was better than last week. That's good, at least. Hunter got put over three other people though. That's bad..... right? And he's going to be in the Royal Rumble and the current champion is Randy Orton. That's also bad, right? Right. They've got a new Titan Tron stage this week, I don't know if they're going to be using it for all the other shows.

Oh, and, uh.... tonight was the first show the WWE has done in HD. So, make a note of that I guess.

Shawn Michaels defeats Ken Kennedy in the first match.

Vince wants Randy Orton to shake Matt Hardy's hand (this'll be the main event, by the way).

Mickie loses to Beth Phoenix again and gets upset. JR goes on about how they're in Mickie's hometown this week.

Brian Kendrick (Spanky) is actually getting to talk! And it's about how he's going to get to be in the Royal Rumble if he wins his match this week. Yay! Oh wait, he gets squashed by Umaga. Oh well.

Fit Finlay and Hornswoggle defeat the Highlanders to promote something else that Fit Finlay is doing.

Jericho is all serious about something.

Mickie is all upset. SHE WON'T BE DENIED or something like that. All I could think about were dirty jokes about cheering her up. Then Santino enters to announce that he won't be buying a subscription to Playboy for Maria's issue because he reasons "why buy the cow when you can get someone to milk you for free?" Ha ha, that Santino.

A video airs talking about Vince appearing on "Celebrity Apprentice." Perfect time for a break for whatever.

Carlito defeats Hardcore Holly.

Hunter is facing not one but three opponents in tonight's match! Surprise! And it's an over-the-top-rope match too! Double.... surprise! The first opponent is Gene Snitsky! In HD! Gene Snitsky's yellow teeth, in HD! Thank you WWE! His next opponent is Mark Henry. Not quite as disgusting. Then his final opponent is William Regal. Hunter wins! Surprise?

Finally it's time for Matt Hardy to shake Randy Orton's hand. But Matt has a whole list of people he respects more than Randy, so he wants to shake their hands first. So it's off to the announce table and then Lillian Garcia and then into the audience to shake random people's hands. Then he gives Randy Orton the Twist of Fate and that's it. End program.

This was a good show. Mostly. One troubling thing however is that dispite the incredible amount of momentum that Matt Hardy has built up over the last month or so, pretty much making him the hottest wrestler in the entire company, Randy Orton has spent pretty much every second of his second title reign on his face. And what happens every time he ends every show getting beaten up? That's right, he retains at the next Pay-Per-View. Why is this? Because the WWE writers are dumbasses? Possibly. With Hunter all set to be in the Royal Rumble and possibly face Randy Orton there for the Title, who's to say really? When has Hunter every killed anyone's momentum for himself? I can't remember a single time.

omg i hate emos so dam much!!!

ok see so me an my friends were in my mom's baseement the other d ay when one of us said "omygod I hate emos so damn much" and I was all like "omg I totally agree with u." We were all drinking red Kool-Aid (because my mom wouldn't let me buy any goats blood :evil: I'll probably write something about that later bevause my mom is REALLY PISSING ME OFF :evil::evil::evil: ) and the sugar sorta stated getting to us or something so i decided that it was the time for ACTION because emos totally suck tand theyre toptally runing metall!

Y do emos think they can ruin metal? Huh? who to they think they are ? metal is totally BADASS, nboody cares about whether or not ur girlfriend left u (I for one have never had one, because I'm too badass for one) and I for one refuse to listen to musich unless it's about SATAN or the APOCALIPS or soemthing totally badass like that!!! 'll have you know htat everyone in middle school is totally afraid of me because I threatened to BLOW THE SCHOOL UP and everyone belived me too I even told my mom and she told me I shound't say that but she cound't hde how scared she was.

so anyway we all wanted to put a stp to THE EMOS so me and my friends all got together and thought up a bunch of plans but they all seemed like too much effort. none of them seemed metal eniough to any of us anyway. so we put a video on thev INTERNET aobut how much we hate the emos and now ever time they they come onto the INTERNET they will know how much theyu SUK and are runing metal for the real badasses such as urs truly. so if U see an EMo next time ur outside, make sure you tell him how much he SUCKS (I can't righgt now because I'm grounded :evil: I'll probably write something about that alter).

EMOS MUST DIE BEFORE METAL IS TOTALLY RUNED!!!!!

Anger management? More like SCREW ANGER MANAGEMENT.

I'm so sick and tired of people telling me that I need to control my anger more. Who the Hell are they to tell me that I can't be more angry more often? Huh? I'd like to know, because this is really pissing me off. I mean really, so what if I punched that traffic cop in the face because he made me wait thirty seconds to cross the street? I was getting really BORED waiting there, thank you very much. If I want to cross the street then I want to do it RIGHT NOW so that I don't have to spend more time standing around not doing anything. And if you don't like that YOU CAN GO TO HELL.

And who the Hell are you to tell me to take anger management classes, huh? Family? Friends? Co-workers? Who the Hell are you people? You know what? You can take your "intervention" and your "caring" and YOU CAN SHOVE IT. The next time I see all of you together in my living room I'd better see a goddamn birthday cake or I'm going to take a crowbar to each and every one of your faces. I don't want to know how "different" I've become or how I really shouldn't have kicked that Jehova's Witness in the face and stepped on his glasses. You know what I call that a sign of? Him not getting off of my front steps fast enough. Deal with it.

You want me to count to ten? Alright, let me try 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 SCREW NUMBERS ALL OF YOU CAN GO TO HELL. Let's see how high I can count before I KICK YOUR ASS. I bet it'll take less then ten, any takers? You know what else can have an adverse effect on my health in the long run? You talking my goddamn ear off every time I do something "angry" like ramming a mail truck with my car because my magazines didn't come in today. I had to pay to fix my own bumper, thank you very much. I think the pain of paying the garage was pain enough, thanks.

You know what? Every time I hear from one of you how I'm going to get more and more pissed off until one day it's just going to get me so ANGRY THAT I JUST MIGHT PU.... ERK.... ARGH.... MY ARM.... MY CHEST... IT'S IN PAIN BECAUSE.... I..... ERK... HAVEN'T PUNCHED ONE OF YOU MORONS IN THE FACE YET. Maybe you should GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. Understand me? I'm really not an angry guy, I just hate all of you.

The RAW Review - 01/14/08 Edition *Spoilers*

You want to know what happened tonight? Huh? Well let me tell you: NOTHING HAPPENED TONIGHT. Except at the very end of the show, which I'll get to in a second. There were a bunch of "Royal Rumble Qualifying matches" and a Diva match that featured Mickie James losing to Beth Phoenix again. Then there was a "mini-Rumble" which featured a bunch of midgets dressed as established WWE wrestlers (think mini-Kane, mini-Mankind and so on). And Vince McMahon's idea of discipline is to give people exactly what they want apparently. But who here thinks Hunter will be wrestlingRIC FLAIR (OMGEEE)again next week? I do! And you probably would have too if you'd seen the show.

But anyway, the one watchable part of the show was once again Jeff Hardy trying to kill himself at the very end. Only this time he climbs up those dumb-looking metal pipe structures that they have at the side of the TitanTron and swantons Randy Orton from about thirty feet in the air. Totally awesome to watch.

More than anything the one complaint I have about this show is that the crowd was dead the entire time. Completely dead. Seems to happen a lot when they're in the southern US. But what did they have to cheer about really? Absolutely nothing happened until Jeff tried to kill himself on live television. So I can't blame them really. But a dead crowd can totally kill a wrestling show, and that's what happened this week. Jeff deserves a megapush if he's going to keep doing this stuff though, because he's becoming one of the only things worth watching the WWE for anymore.

The RAW Review, 01/07/08 Edition *Spoilers*

Tonight.... tonight wasn't very good. It was supposed to be the return of the "RAW Roulette," but that was a huge dissapointment tonight. So instead we got around two hours of dissapointment and one final match that pretty much saved the show. Oh, but enough about that.

The show begins when Vince shows off the RAW Roulette reel and reveals that William Regal is going to be facing Hunter in first blood match. Then Hunter beats up Regal.

Shawn Michaels and Ken Kennedy team up to defeat Charlie Haas (who puts on a mask midway through the match for some reason), and Trevor Murdoch. But Kennedy and Michaels can't get along, so Kennedy knocks out Michaels.

Bob Holly and Carlito face each other while dressed as each other. Dumb, basically. Bob Holly wins because he don't job to no foreigners.

Maria's going to be in an all-lengerie pillow fight. Don't worry though, her boobs, I mean pillows, are all natural! What hilarious comedy.

The main event is going to be Jeff Versus Umaga in a steel cage. The roulette decreeth so.

The lengerie thing involves Maria and Ashley and some other random Divas and Ashley wins.

Hunter beats Regal in a sorta-okay First Blood match. Then he pedigrees him. Thecrowd really gets on Regal here, dispite him saving Ric Flair's career last week and all that. They all sound like a bunch of women and prepubescent lads, by the way.

Santino tells Hornswoggle that if he were to tag team with Hornswoggle, they should hire Count Chocula and make their match a six-man contest. The line of the night ladies and gentlemen, the line of the night.

Jericho is supposed to be facing JBL and Snitsky in a handicap match, but a DQ happens really fast and JBL strangles Jericho with a random electric cable for a few minutes instead. On the plus side, this means we have to see neither JBL nor Snitsky wrestle.

Hornswoggle comes out for a tag match with the Highlanders. The stipulation is that if he wins he and his tag partner get entered into the Royal Rumble. And his partner is..... B.K. Jordan? Who the Hell is B.K. Jordan! No wait, it's Mick Foley! So long B.K. Jordan. So Micksingle-handedly defeats the Highlanders and now he and Hornswoggle are in the Royal Rumble.

Jeff is here to face Umaga in a steel cage. Randy Orton comes out to walk around outside the ring and stare at Jeff. Oh, but the match is actually really good. Far more violent than you'd think they'd allow in front of both women and the children that they overprotect. But then the clincher comes when Jeff does the Whisper in the Wind from the top of the cage directly onto a standing Umaga, seemingly knocking Umaga out and giving Jeff the victory. Randy looks shocked while Jeff sits on top of the cage. End program.

So there you have it. Almost two hours of garbage, followed by a very good main event with a, dare I say, unbelieveable finish. Basically what the WWE promises out of every one of their matches and so very rarely delivers. I'd watch the show just for the main event if I were you, and I don't say that very often (especially with so many main events being lame tag matches and non-finishes). It was, uh... how would you say... good.

Oh please.

So what if Jeff was fired? So what? So what if he was one of the longest-tenured writers on the entire staff, one of the people whose writing not only shaped the content on the site for the last decade-plus, but helped build it into what it is today? So what if his personality became a big part of what the site is now? Get real. So what if he's yet another member of the core of writers who made this publication so successful for so long that have now left? So what if the reasons behind his firing were so sketchy? So what if more staffers are quitting? So what if this site has become increasingly dumbed-down and "streamlined" in the last year?

GROW UP PEOPLE IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT A BIG DEAL. YOU STUPID... INTERNET.... CONSPIRACY PEOPLE.

Oh noes Ron Paul didn't wins!11111

SO omg like I watched the result of the caucus tonight and besides having a funny name I noticed something else SHOCKING about it that I really didn't like ok see Ron Paul only got like 10% of the vote! That guy who won got like 30% of the vote! Well you can't fool me governement, I've done the math and figured out that means that out of ten voters one would vote for Ron Paul and, like.... six would vote for the guy that won! That means that a lot of people voted for the guy that won, who wasn't Ron Paul! I think this is much a conspiracy by the neo-cospiracy cons! And I'm here to not allow this!

Just HOW do I know that the American way has been kidnapped? WHat is it that tells me this?! Okay, well let me reveal someting SHOCKING to you: everyone I know said they voited for ROn Paul, and I'm pretty sure that they all voted! That means my brother, and my best friend, and his sister, they all voted for Ron Paul! Probably. That's three whole people! And I haven't talked to ONE single person who said they were voting for anyone else! I haven't talked to anyone else in week,s BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTIANT. I'm pretty sure that my parents were going to vote for him too, if they were still talking to me anywya.

What I'm saying is that this pre-election election has been STOLEN. It went through COMPUTERs. It's obvious that there's fraud there because there are computers there and how else could there be fraud? THERE WAS NO ELECTION FRAUD BEFORE COMPUTERS. What the HELL Government? I did everything for this election to shw how much I love Ron Paul! I gave my money! I phoned people at four in the morning! Sometimes I hunted them down on foot when they hung up on me! I sent mail to people! Hell, I spent hours on Internet forums posting about how ROnPaul was going to ban everything and bring back the Golden State Warriors! And now this happens? WELL I WON'T BELIEVE IT.

You can try to stop the Ron Paul RevoLUVtion all you want you stinking governement, but I won't never stop doing this campaigning thing! THE TRUTH WILL BE HEARD!!!! You heard it here fost people.

2007: A Year.

Uh...... last year is over. It's now this year! Yay! This year is different from last year, because if you look at the calendar there's a different number on top of it that's not the same as the one that was up there a few days ago. That must mean that last year is over. Think of the contracts that are ending! Think of all the new copyright dates! Can we be excited enough about this? I think not! I don't want to write "think" anymore though, it's starting to make me want to actually think. I can't do that.

So what are we to make of this arbitrary division of a certian point in time, itself a creation of the perceptions we ourselves make of the universe around us? Well, uh.... I'd say that last year was pretty darn good. Except for when it wasn't. But it was usally pretty good though. So that's a huge plus. Actually, I slept through most of last year. Sorry. And when I wasn't sleeping I was watching baseball. And when it wasn't baseball season I was just not paying attention. Also sorry about that. So is there anything I can actually say about it as we bid farewell to a year in which stuff happened?

I think so. Whoops, have to avoid saying that. So what can we remember from last year? Well for one thing, I'm sure that stuff happened on television. Did you know that there are hundereds of television channels these days? And what's more, there are more channels in countries that you don't live in that you don't get to see! There's lots of stuff to see there, so much that you can't possibly see everything that's broadcast on all of it in just one year. In fact, if you were able to watch an entire year's worth of programming on one of those channels it would take up an entire year of your life! Amazing, right? I totally blew my mind when I thought of that.

I think there were also people that lived or something. Did people die too? I find it hard to imagine a year where people didn't. I envision a world without death, and think we can fight to accomplish such a thing. But that's beyond our reach right now. So what of the people that lost the fight with this thing this year? I think there was that one guy who was on television or something and that other person that I forget. They shall be missed, once I remember who they were.

I don't expect you to read all of this, so I'm just going to waste some space right here. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Are you ready to pay attention again? Well good then, let's get going. What happened last year was an incredible accomplishment to humanity. In one short year, we managed to avoid killing each other or allowing ourselves to be overrun by rabid weasles. Both terrifying possiblities when you stop and consider it. Don't consider it too much though, or else you might not be able to sleep anymore. And I wouldn't want that to happen to you, dear readers.

So in conclusion, while I may not have actually paid any attention to 2007 or remember any of the things that happened during it, I'm pretty sure that whatever went on last year was really..... good. Good things impress people, right? Right. What I mean to say is that 2007 will live on forever in our memories. And if it doesn't, well, we probably should've tried harder. And isn't that the real message? We should all try harder. But if we try too hard, we won't be able to pass our own record next year. So what's really really importiant is to be lazy so that it'll be easy to pass ourselves next year. Remember these words! I'll see you next year! Or tomorrow. Whichever!

And stay off my lawn. This rule applies to all years.

The RAW Review - New Year's Eve '07 Edition.

Well folks, 2007 is now past us, everywhere except the West Coast anyway (and that'll change in an hour or so). We're also done with this year of RAW. Something actually happened tonight though. This is good, right? Yeah, it's good. I guess. But I won't get to be cynical about it, which in case you haven't guessed, is the only thing that I really have in life. OH THE SHAME. THE SHAME OF IT ALL. Also, I don't have a 2008 calendar yet. MORE SHAME.

So in case you haven't heard, tonight's the night that HHH faces Ric Flair, with Flair having to retire if he loses. If you really haven't heard though, you'll be reminded about it about ten thousand times. According to online reports though, they didn't bother promoting this locally, and sold just 11,000 tickets to this thing. Way to go WWE!

Randy Orton opens with blah blah blah then Jeff Hardy comes out blah blah blah. When did Randy shave his head? Don't answer that, I don't actually care.

Ken Kennedy somehow beats Shawn Michaels cleanly. I could've sworn I saw the finishing move that he used somewhere else before.

Apparently if HHH loses he won't be in the Royal Rumble. Thanks Vince!

JBL comes out to an endless stream of fireworks. Every time it looks as if he's about to speak, more fireworks go off. Silly JBL! Then he gives a speech about being the wrestling god or whatever and Jericho runs out to fight him. I hope they don't job Jericho out to JBL so soon after Jericho's made his return.

JBL yells at a bunch of officials about how he has a 500 dollar shirt and can buy and sell them. More good stuff.

Beth Phoenix defeats Mickie James and Melina by beating Melina senseless. Then she lords the belt over Mickie in a scene that was oddly... sensual.

William Regal has a "match" with Hornswoggle before refusing to hit him with the brass knuckles that Vince gives him. So Vince gets angry at him and tells him that the whole thing was a "test" and that he never really wanted him to hit Hornswoggle with the knuckles, so Regal storms off while Vince berates him.

Jeff Hardy faces Santino, who's in jobber mode until Orton interrupts on the TitanTron to inform Jeff and the rest of us that he's beating up Matt Hardy and deliver some awkward line about kicking Matt which just sounded... odd, really. So Jeff runs backstage and Santino presumably wins by countout.

HHH and Flair have a pretty good match until William Regal runs down and punches Flair with the knuckles, meaning that Flair wins by DQ and Hunter is presumably out of a spot in the Rumble. So Hunter argues with the referee and then he and Flair hug each other. End program.

So is William Regal a face or a heel? This and more entertaining questions as the WWE tries to sell you all on paying 50 bucks for Wrestlemania this year! But this was a pretty good show, which is why it's sorta sad that the WWE's popularity is at a low point right now. But they're bound to pick it up again sooner or later. Probably. Maybe when they stop trying to combine playing it safe with playing it stupid.