I actually signed a petition online about 10 years ago pleading with this degenerate asshole to stop making movies. I was within the first hundred and it reached 100,000 signatures at least. To which he responded by challenging his toughest critics to a boxing match. No surprise, he won all of them, being that he is a trained fighter and he fought inexperienced internet critics. Very impressive.
Here's the thing, Uwe. You may be able to kick some ass. I'm pretty great at fighting in general, though I don't fight a lot because people actually like me, but you can probably kick my ass as well. But you're still you. I could wake up in a hospital after your beating with a testicle missing and that would be pretty terrible but I still wouldn't be Uwe Boll. And that's fantastic. In fact, I could make a movie with voiceover from the perspective of my remaining testicle and it would still be better than any movie you have or ever will make in your life.
Then, in mockery, I might make an account on kickstarter to fund an operation for a replacement testicle, and I would very likely make more money than you have for Rampage 3. But In the end, I would instead use that money dishonestly and pay Floyd Mayweather to beat you down. He's probably busy so he'd send his 62 year old dad, who would have an odd appreciation for my testicle movie, and he'd beat you down right before dropping dead of a stroke. And Floyd Jr. wouldn't even be upset, because his dad went out like a champ, beating your talentless ass.
Are you still reading? This is kind of how it feels watching one of your movies. Like, "How did we get here? Why did I keep watching/reading? The universe confuses me. Can someone please put a gun in my mouth?" You're welcome.