Contrasting the beginning of this month to the end, I feel I've come a long way and began a personal transformation. Leaving behind my previous job last year was a rough first step, and it was necessary to move on from that part of my life, but it's making more sense to me now that other parts of my life needed to be changed as well.
I still haven't got things all figured out. I still don't have many close friends and I can't always maintain my happiness. But I think I'm finding my way towards becoming happier on my own, without others there to rely on. Dealing with certain people anymore is hardly ever worth it - it just puts me in a bad mood and is frustrating. I think I am at the point now where I could go for two weeks without talking to anyone in person outside of work or in stores, and that might be alright.
Right now I guess my mindset is, I just want to spend my free time with myself, and games, books, shows - stuff where I'm not having conversations but just enjoying a creation. At work, I want to be surrounded by friendly people, I want to work alongside friendly people. And I want to spend less time searching hopelessly for things I can't find, driving around and wasting gas.
Today I made a huge amount of progress on changing my apartment around. I threw lots of old things away, bagged up tons of things to donate, and I'm through pretty much the bulk of it. There is still work to be done, but I feel like my day off was a productive one. I rearranged my room and did a bit of cleaning in anticipation for my upcoming Switch purchase. The Switch is a major piece of the puzzle, but I can already see where there will be phases to things I update over coming months.
Looking around at the more organized environment that is forming around me, I think I will be a lot happier this year than I have been in some previous years. I may not have everything, but I feel like I'm taking back my home, and that's big.