Kryptnyt / Member

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Along came a spider

So, I had a dream a night or so ago. It was one of those simple dreams that you really think about for no reason at all.

It was also one of those dreams where you could feasably be awake; I was in my room, which is where I usually sleep...

So anyway, I was in my room doing whatever, and I look up and see a huge spider in my room. Huge. Boss class spider. 3 and a half inch abdomen diameter. It was big! So immediately I rise to do battle.

Apparently my weapon of choice was one of the boxes holding magic cards I keep in my room. The boxes are like bricks but 1.5 times larger and about the same weight. I began my assault on Captain Tickles as soon as possible, since the only good spider is, of course, a dead spider. A spider that large has a lot of hit points, it took one whack to knock it onto the floor but I had to be quick to finish it off before it scurried under my bed to recuperate and have revenge later. SMASH! BAM! Spider demolished. Dream ended there.

After waking up, the first thing I thought of was, hmm, why a dream about spiders? Then I began to ponder why exactly my first instinct upon seeing any spider- in dreams and in real life- is to grab something and squish it. I mean, realistically, the spider is not out to get me. It probably would want nothing to do with me. Ever. Maybe its a territorial thing. Maybe I'm defending my room from arachnoid invaders? Or, perhaps, I'm just afraid of spiders enough to not wish to coexist with them. Is that a form of racism? Don't know.

Anyways, I'm not all that afraid of spiders. I know this because i'm afraid of centipedes!

Theyre cute up close, but when you see a 3 foot centipede wrestle a snake on youtube well thats just disturbing. First instinct upon meeting a centipede? Find knife, CHOP CHOP CHOP FLEE.

Viktor Reznov's 8 Steps to Spiritual Healing; Part One

"Welcome to Anger Management class, comrades."

Four men and one woman had stepped into the small room and taken seats. It was about noon, and the room was well lit by the autumn sky gently coming in the windows. The chairs were each rather comfortable looking and placed in a circle around a medium sized coffee table. There was a fresh pot of coffee off to the side of the room, its soothing aroma wafting around to each person in the room.

"I am glad you all could join me today. It is my privelege to help you all to achieve spiritual serenity." The man who was sitting in the room already when the five arrived had a stout Soviet accent to his voice, and a certainity behind it that immediately commanded respect without asking for it.

"You can all address me as Viktor. I am your equal," he explained, calmly addressing all of them in turn, "and I cannot tell you what to do, but I am here to be a guide, a muse, so that you may leave this program armed with the necessary tools to fight back against your fears, angers, and sadnesses that you find rushing to the surface and causing harm to those you love.

"Now, let us learn about each other. We will go clockwise." He waved to his left and nodded to the first man.

"Hi, I'm Paul." Paul looked nervous to go first but plunged in with success anyway. "I'm a lab technician... I work around people I like, and I have a wonderful family... a wife, and three kids I love to death."

Viktor nodded, then looked at the next man, signaling that that was all that the group needed from each individual.

"I'm Red," the next man explained. "I work in the copper mine. My wife left me years ago for another man, but we had a daughter together that we both cherish."

"I'm Alexandra, and I work at PetsMart. I've never married but I have a son who is fourteen."

"I'm Hank, and I have a wife and a son, and two daughters. I work at the scrapheap."

"My name's George, and I'm a dentist. My wife and I have never had children."

Viktor nodded. "That was very good, very good. We are all calm today... no one came to this meeting harboring hidden feelings of dissent and regret?" Lots of heads shaking no.

"Then let us commence.

"Every journey begins... with a single step. This... is step one." He looked around at them all, making respectful eye contact. "Step one, we will call, 'Secure the Keys.' It is a bit of a stretch of a metaphor for some, but I will do my best to help you digest it."

"Most recovery programs begin with admitting fault, and blaming oneself," Viktor explained. "Mine is unique in that it is a direct assault on our own psyche. Rage is a prison, my comrades. When we feel angry, we become someone we are not. What causes us to be angry? Those, my friends, are what we will call the 'prison guards.'

"Seven years ago I was trapped in my own world of anger, and those around me only suffered," Viktor reminisced aloud. "My own personal prison. In order for me, and you, to secure the keys, we must find and take out the prison guard.

"How do we do that? We must fake a fight to lure him out into the open. Hank."

Hank nodded.

"If you don't mind me asking, what was the initiator for your being here today?"

Hank looked around at the others, then looked down at the table. "I was at work," he began.

"See, at the scrapheap, we do a lot of heavy lifting, we get a lot of cuts, bruises, and so forth. We often don't treat injuries that arent serious until we are on break or something, so that we get the work done faster... we always clean open wounds, though, to prevent infection.

"A man and Durago and I, we go way back. We've been working for twenty years. The man is a great friend, one of the best men I've ever known." He sighed. "One day, Durago, myself, and a new worker named Frank, about twenty years old, were sorting out metal things when Durago got a cut along his arm.

"He probably could have kept working comfortably, he's a very strong man, but he went back to disinfect it anyway. It was just the smart thing to do, you know?

"Yet Frank decided to go on about how much of a pansy Durago was for taking a break from work. I don't know how, but I got mad, real fast, and before I knew it, Frank was eating a knuckle sandwich. Hank-style."

Viktor nodded. "I thank you for being so open about your incident. I know it is not easy.

"See, in that scenario, your anger caused you to overreact. When you start to react that way, a prison guard has come over to secure your cell door. But if instead we catch the prison guard by surprise, knock him out, and secure the keys, we have taken our first step to freedom, my friend. And once we Secure the Keys, we can move onto our second step.

"Step two; Ascend from Darkness." Victor Reznov smiled. "We have a meeting sceduled tomorrow afternoon, and I would like to continue this with all of you then. Until then, be free, my comrades."

A breakthrough in the world of portable gaming...

Reggie Fils-Aime is introducing the Nintendo 3DQS, the new handheld with four screens in 3D that you wear on your head. The year is 2019.

"For the first time, we will be able to capture a gaming experience so real, its like you're actually in the game.

And don't worry. We have launch titles from many third parties as well as from Nintendo. Like Super Duper Mega Street Fighter 5 Budokai. Producer Yoshinori Ono will take it from here."

(Yoshinori Ono appears on the big screen behind Reggie and speaks in Japanese, with English subtitles displayed on the screen.)

"With Super Duper Mega Street Fighter 5 Budokai, our newest title in our franchise, players will have over 140 characters to choose from. But that's not the part that makes it so great. The title utilizes this new handheld console to its fullest extent.

"With the 3DQS strapped onto your head and the Fire Fist and Lightning Feet- cordless motion sensors- strapped onto your arms and legs, you can actually become your favorite character, whether it's M. Bison, Theodore Roosevelt, or new to this game, Goku from Dragonball Z.

"The multiplayer mode is even more exiteing! Did you ever fight your friend over who was allowed to be Dark Ryu? Well now you can literally fight your friend over who gets to be Dark Ryu! *laughs*

"Or, you can fight your boss over that pay raise he won't give you. *Looks dead serious*

"The best thing about this multiplayer mode is that only one player needs to own a 3DQS. Anyone can play as long as one player has the game, but only the player using the console will see the fight rendered in 3D. Have you ever seen a homeless person just sitting by the side of the road? He's a gamer. And that old lady with nine or ten cats? She is too. Everyone is a gamer with the 3DQS! *Smiles broadly* Also, don't worry about damage to the system from a little too much movement. Its made by Nintendo. Its nearly indestructible. Nothing can go wrong."


I think I should start a GS Union based on Magic the Gathering, I was surprised to not be able to find one existant already. But, hrm, never been a leader of a Union before, so it would probably die right away. lol.

I can rant about magic though.

Primeval Titan

Isn't this guy like... insane? He makes almost every other six-drop green fatty look worthless, except perhaps Vigor from Llorwyn. He's gonna see a lot of play in Legacy Reanimator decks, he can search for Wastelands to destroy opponent's lands. And in Standard he is played with Valakut, the Molten Pinnacle, with that he brings lots of pain.

Wizards keeps printing stuff that is better and better. I don't think this card should have been printed, honestly. Being Mythic Rare is their new excuse for letting things get out of hand. This guy is no exception. If you want to play with four of him in your deck, though, be prepared to shell out $160! Lol...

Anyway, Scars of Mirrodin prerelease is this weekend, and I'm going to go. There are a few cards I'm hoping to pick up. here are my favorite commons that have been spoiled;

Stoic Rebuttal is a lot better than Cancel, and will definetly encourage players to throw a few artifacts in their deck. Not as good as Counterspell either, which is fair, since Counterspell would end up defining/warping the format.

Galvanic Blast is similar. Its better than Shock normally, and better than Lightning Bolt when you have artifacts. Wow! Four damage for one red mana. At instant speed. Simply amazing.

Copperhorn Scout, is, well, an elf. And elves like to untap. Yeah, this one has potential.

Glimmerpost, the new locus, is rather interesting. The life gain is worth it since it comes into play untapped, and with four of these on the field, with four Cloudposts, and four Vesuvas copying Cloudpost, you get exactly 100 colorless mana to play with. And how do you do that? Well, mr. Primeval Titan at the top of this blog will help you there for the low low price of 160 bucks! heh... money decks.

I'll post my favorite uncommons/rares/mythics some other time, till then, i'm out.

On the Pokewalker.

When I heard that Pokemon Gold and Silver were being remade, I was ecstatic as I could get for such a revelation.

When I heard that it came with what sounded like a Tamogachi included with it, I was heavily skeptical.

But hell, its not god-awful. I just turn the sound off and go on my rounds at work (security guard). Then when I'm done with a round, I toss a pokeball or two. Not a huge commitment to this additional piece of hardware. That is, until I need to change the batteries, then our relationship may become strained.

I doubt the pokewalker could solve the rising problem of childhood obesity, however. The little fatties will probably duct tape the pokewalker to the kitchen cieling fan and go back to their beloved couch. Oh well, Japan, it was a nice try, and I appreciate where you were going with this.

I need a laptop...

Yeah, the title tells you more than the actual blog itself. Isnt that amazing?

Anyway, been thinking of either a nice laptop or a great desktop. This one is starting to get klunky, and the monitor is downright oppressively huge. Its time for me to spend some money on this issue. If I get a laptop I can take it to work too ;) that would be cool.

Hell, I could probably take this thing to work, but... damn... it'd be harder to move this thing than my actual job. :P

Tell me what you want in my next blog, it couldn't hurt. in the meantime here's some funnah

Who needs a topic, really...

Well im back up to 40 work hours, looks like I'll be able to keep them this time. Been through hell and back fighting for em, lotsa random circumstances jumping in my way, but finally looks like I can be comfortable where I am. Its all third shift which is not so bad (better than thirds/firsts/seconds mixed together) and as a security guard I have not a whole lot to do, so its basically "stay up five nights a week and we give you free money." Not bad at all, eh? Envious you are? Jealous that I have a good reason to explore the vast libraries of GBA/NDS games? I'm sure you are. Rofl.

So erm... nobody cared about the candy halloween night. so far as I know.

Going to a MTG tourney this evening, idk even if its sealed-deck or Type-2 or whatever, but I'll be ready one way or the other, and I'll have my gameface turned on so high the enemy will die from gameface cancer.

...this blog is boring, I can even tell while im writing it. Ok, i'll just post some lolcats and youtube videos and everyone will be happy.

Oh crap nuggets!

Ran out of Halloween Candy... Fearing the consequences... yikes.

So many damn kids in our neighborhood these days, its a wonder where they all come from, most of em I've never seen before, like, omgwtfbbq lols

Also, have a happy halloween y'all

Toenails arent Fritos!

So yeah its another blog. I could post more often but stuff doesn't really happen to me :P or I'm just not good at remembering small things to exaggerate into big things.

Anyway, heres whats up.

Current Interests= Molé dip, Volcano Tacoes from Taco Bell, Pokemon WiFi battles, wanting the old Dew Game Fuel back (released for Halo 2 or 3 or something :P), bottle rocket wars, getting a digital cam so I can show u guys my kittahs.

Current Dislikes= People who yell at newbies who try in online games, people who don't try at all in online games, potato famines, work, dyslexia, people who don't believe that I don't do drugs, aggressive pets, deadlines, being skinny (seriously I wish I was a fat dude I stink at eating competitions :cry: )

My neice has lived to age three, and tomorrow there will be a picnic. I'll probably give her a bunch of my old toys, because of course she needs them... more than I do... *sob*...
It's actually a surprise that she's lived this long. My sis and her husband are also lifelong gamers, so I was worried about them taking advice from NPCs on how to raise her. If they did idk but they didn't implement "If all else fails use fire" and that is a bit of a relief.

As my only current gen machines are DSi and PC, I do a lot of PC gaming. I've been playing a lot of WolfTeam from Aeria lately, which is a cool lycanthropic FPS. Also, I've been playing Pokemon Diamond a bit, and Pictobits/MariovsDonkeyKongMinisMarchAgain are pretty good DSi downloads. Seems to me like the people making DSi downloads have felt limited to puzzle games, idk why though, it has much more potential than that, like ports of NES games for $2 would be a great asset to it.

To make this blog deeper I'll try to be deep for a sec here XD

uhh... I guess i'll try a haikou.

the village aflame
burning like the lover's soul
smites like ignorance

Uhh thats about it. Like I said I'm boring :P Just like my job, 3rd shift security guard -____-

And make sure to clip your toenails. Do it, you unclean savages. It will appease me!

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