Since we're talking about young kids, I figured I'd share my story.
When I went to pick up my copy of Kart there were three kids in Gamestop, and they stood in between myself and the elusive Gamestop employee who would allow me to complete a much desired Mario Kart transaction. It was clear from the beginning; those kids were there to fight.
The first kid came at me with speed and determination, he tried to knock me over but I was able to keep my balance by grabbing hold of a rack filled with used PlayStation 3 consoles. I knew that system was useful for something.
Regaining my wits, I grabbed the child by the throat, lifted him in the air, and yelled, "DIE VIGO !!!", because to me all children represent the villian from Ghostbusters 2.
I threw him to the ground and then took a battle ready position, knowing that the other two kids were also going to try and stop me from getting my Kart on.
The next child came at me. He looked like Goldberg the Goalie from The Mighty Ducks, but I wasn't going to let his obscure celebrity likeness stop me from going home and enjoying Koopa Cape.
He ran at me with his arms swinging through the air, he was yelling at a very audible volume. I believe he was speaking in tongues, but I can't be sure, since I don't speak jive.
As soon as he darted my way I juked to the side, sending him face first in a pile of DS games. While he was lying there, bleeding with used copies of Brain Age covering his prone body, I grabbed a DS console, ripped out the sylus, and shoved it in his eye. While doing so I uttered the action movie-esque catch phrase, "You're cramping my stylus."
The line made me chuckle, and made him bleed, which means it was a win/win situation.
All that stood between me and the Gamestop front desk was one final child, this one resembled the pop singer JoJo, which was odd, since he was a young black boy.
Anyhoo, JoJo came at me and quickly lifted me up in the air. I was hoisted on his shoulders and at that moment I saw my life flash before my eyes. In an act of desperation I clutched the XBox 360 display set up, but he quickly pryed me away. I should have been able to hold on for longer ... I blame Microsoft Tech Support.
While on JoJo's shoulders, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a Wii Zapper. I quickly grabbed it and used to to whack him in the back of the head, causing him to drop me to the ground immediately.
Dazed and confused he stood up. Zapper still in my hand, JoJo regained his wits and rushed at me like a fat man at Ben and Jerry's Free Cone Day. While he was running, grunting like a young Tim "The Toolman" Taylor, I looked him dead in the eyes and said, "I've got your peripheral right here ...", and shoved the Zapper straight down his throat. He fell to the ground instantly, and victory was mine.
I walked over to the counter with my head held high. I looked the cashier straight in the eyes and said, "One copy of Mario Kart Wii please ...". He smiled, looked right back at me, and said, "Sorry, we're sold out".
I left and bought one at Target an hour later.
Real good game, my online code is in my sig.
Log in to comment