The following is another JOKE blog, so I don't wan't to hear all the angry fools. You should know how I write by now.
You know with the whole economy in a big mess and money getting harder and harder to get one has got to ask themselves? Why am I hungry and how do I stop this hunger? Well there is a simple solution....Cannibalism. WHAT you say, that is terrible and I will have no part in such a cruel atrocious act, no way, no how. Ok, Ok you win it is cruel but by the end of this little blog I tell you what, you will be making the best fried intestine with BBQ sauce of all time but first alittle history on the subject and the human body.
Cannabalism is such a nasty word, so lets just call it. Extreme cuisine....Yeah that will work. EC has been around for ages, it has been in everything from Mythology, to tv entertainment, video game and of course real life. Back in the 1600's when food would go dim people would dig up corpses and use them for food. We will be doing the same thing, but thankfully we have the tools to make our food taste great. Now to do EC you have to remember the human body is not like one of an animal. Humans have more "Game" in their bodies, no not game as in halo or Killzone, I mean games as in they are more active then most animals.
Now say you manage to get your hands on a nice body of meat what do you do with it? Well cut it open duh? But before you grab that chainsaw and act like your living in texas relax. Preparing human is just like preparing anything else. You need to be focused and logical. So put away the chainsaw and get yourself a set of these babies.
A clean and precise butcher set. Things will be alot less messy and clean up will be a breeze.Now on to the fun part. The cooking. Now with my wife being my sexy panther Martha she was so ready to help out with explaining this. As we said before the human body is very different from animals. Your not going to be able to just cut off a slab of meat and fry it, no, no, no. You need to take the carving knife and carefully cut the skin and save it because I have a wonderful idea of what you can do with that. Now when you reach the stomach you will see all of the human body's beautiful oragans, all of which can be cooked if you do things right. Now here is a dish that is sure to get mouths watering. Fried intestine,
Now that is a picture of fried porky Pig's intestines but you will be eating the real deal. First thing is first find your favorite batter. Next remove the intestines from the area, trust me it is really simple, just reach and pull. get a bucket and squeeze out all of the yucky stuff inside. Now you must clean them. Put them in the sink and wash. For best results marinate the intestines first.....For those who don't know what that means-It is the proccess of soaking meat to give it more flavor. Pour some water over the meat, chop up a few onions add your favorite seasonings and then let it sit in the fridge over night...
Yaaawn. Good morning. Lets get back to cooking. Mhhhhhmm, you know you have done things right because the meat smells cooked already. Pre-heat a deep fryer to 350-375 degrees. Take your meat and chop it into little portions. It will look like friend squid when we are done. Dip it in your batter and then put it in the fryer....Mmmhhhmmm Smell that good ol cooking. After your done cooking your food. Plate it nice and just drizzle some BBQ sauce over it. There you go, you have made Fried intestines with BBQ. Now for the rest of the body. Make sure you store it in a freezer. Now what can you do with all that meat. Eat it, give it to the homeless, or feed the kids on holloween. The Possibilities are endless. On behalve of me Chef Freaky wolf and Chef sexy panther we say Bonappetit.
- Like we said before, certain parts of the body have more game, especially in the legs and arms.
- Avoid steroid users
- Properly store the meat in a place that will help age
- Soak the meat in buttermilk
- Stew with potatoes and other veggies always help
- With the skin you can create dumplings, stuff them with whatever you want.
- Don't let people judge, remember the ones who judge get judge later on your plate hahahaha.
- Have fun with it.