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Hellboyx Blog

New banners

Still feeling a little rusty hehe but i have produced a couple today that I am happy with and thought i may show em off to you lot :P, both for other users on the site so they have there names over em, but as always if you got the urge for a new banner let me know your preferences etc, and i never let anybody have a banner until i am 100% happy with it (quality control or what!) take a look at these :D

On a side note Chaos_Spawn is a real life friend of mine and had just joined the community :) he is a fellow gamer (obviously) and will hopefully come up with some cool blogs so please welcome him if you got the time and friend space lol.

Will return to madcap bloggin at the end of the week when my script is done :D


Quick catch-up blog

Hi Folks!

As you may have realised I have not been active for the past 2 weeks... been hard at work on my latest script to which I have not got a name to yet.... maybe you guys can help me? ooh yeah lets role with that! who can come up with a good name for my latest movie, the plot revolves around a group of guy friends who are at the awkward stage of their lifes in which they are no longer teenagers and worry for how their lifes will play out from here on, Steve has had 3 girls he considers "the one" run off with other guys and contemplates suicide due to his addiction to drugs, alcohol and his inability to find that 1 girl even tho the only one who has never left his side for the past 10 years is his best friend to which he is too blind to see is the real one for him. Matt is a university student at the age of 23 with another 3 years to go, looking around he realises his age as 18 year olds are in his class, is he wasting his time and needs to settle down? there are several other strands that I do not wanna give away at this time because Gamespot is getting the first exclusive trailer :) - since this is produced by me and is near to my heart in terms of content I hope this one comes accross as heartbreaking at times, believable and sincere to the point that you can relate to the content in your own lifes since im sure a few of you may be at this point too in your life.

In terms of games that ever so annoying Warcraft thing is still consuming all my time, but come the end of the month that may change after playing the demo of Killzone 2... I can only describe it as a visceral piece of eye candy with sheer power to get the adrenaline going - to which most games should do! so good news if you ask me :)

Also i notice that a few people are requesting banners, this is really ancouraging and I am always happy to make them, those of you who have received your completed banner I hope you are happy (hell i know you are Azure lol) and if anybody else would like to request a banner please feel free to do so :)


Resi Evil: Degeneration review

For a few years now we have had to sit through Resident evil films made by people who have no idea about the games they are envisioning to film and its always bugged me that people go to the cinema to watch them, critics are supposed to have a fair opinion but nowadays I gave up on that philosophy and will simply refer to them as complete and utter zombie turd.

It seems like Japan have realised this issue and gone and made their very own CGI resident evil film starring a hottie and a plank from my favourite of the series resident evil 2, the two are brought together by their favourite neighbours the Zombies... and thus the apocalypse starts all over again this time in an airport which is not really that refreshing considering they have pretty much covered everywhere else from resident evil 1 to 5... on a side note how are we only up to resi 5? There's more games in this series than sense!

Back to the movie it is all very predictable and a special award must go to Claire redfield for being the first cgi character I have found attractive and another award must go to Leon for he is more wooden than a skateboard and any scene which requires the boy to show an ounce of emotion is met by complete and utter lack of interest...

Being the movie lover that i am i opted for the slightly dearer blu-ray release and i must say it does look very nice in hi-definition, the colours and especially the extreme long shots show great detail, plus the hair movement is nearly flawless, the only thing to let it down is the dubbing of characters to the point that it was distracting me as the lips are moving differently to the voice, understandable in old style cartoonography but modern day lip synching would of allowed for the CGI crew to edit the lips for other languages so its really lazy if you ask me!

The movie as a whole is ok... run of the mill, the kind of film you will sit through and walk out indifferent from just like eating a snack a jack or playing darts.... its great that its there, but it won't change your life which for resident evil fans is a good sign that you have not been burned again by Paul W.S Anderson and his pen... but every time I see a flashback to resi evil 2 in modern day cgi I couldn't help but wish I was watching that film... oh and that Leon got some kind of personality!.

3 out of 5

The friday night blog! (3)

Hello hello its me again! and its friday again! two good things in 1 hit... u lucky people! how have we been? hope we have all been well and are ready to go out and get drunk yet again this weekend and wake up in a place u have hever been before and hopefully will never be in again!

Tonight useless gadgets are a varied bunch of things i have found on my times when im not being a demi-god at work or being a nuissance to everyone around me, so lets get the ball rolling with a completely pointless purchase:

Disc Eraser

My usual response to gadgets that are useless upon first site usually is WTF (what the fajiggin if you don't understand text talk) the disc eraser does not melt, or burn information off a dvd/cd, nope, you just run the slider accross the surface of a CD a couple of times and let it do its magic by scratching the data to an unreadable state.. of course we all know two hands and a bit of force does the same trick, but this is really the toy for someone you really hate... get hold of their special edition DVD of MGS4 and watch their faces in shock as the scratches go along the surface.... enough to turn a man insane!

The Butter stick

No i did not whip this image up on photoshop.... this does exist.... yes you can buy butter in the form of a glue stick, im shocked as you are i am sure, gone are the days of a tub of butter and a knife, all you need is a stick of butter and your toast and you are sorted, of course this cuts down on knife cleaning duties i am sure, but lets also remember there will always be one prankster out there who will switch it with a glue stick ending up with you having toast stuck to your teeth and a but of butter holding your new space marine 40k model together!

Protective food eating collar

Only East would this kind of thing be invented... i still cannot believe somebody thought this was a selling idea, let alown somebody marketing it! the protective collar helps you get over the age old issue of sloppy noodles by protecting your face, but not anything else! (i always find noodles fall down the front of my shirt... is that why this kind of thing would exist?) there not much to say about this one, its just rediculous! but funny tho...

Lazer line scissors

Again no photoshop was used, and these guys have a cult following on google search apparently, this is the lazer guided scissors, an incredibly flawed gadget by the fact you would never get a straight line due to the fact that no human hand can keep it straight while following a line that is not actually there, its possible when the line is drawn on the piece of paper in the first place for the person to follow, but think about it... if you are in complete control of the line from start to finish it will never be straight... im certain about it so i really need to buy a pair of these to prove my point lol!

The Now watch

Unarguably the most accurate watch you will ever buy... the now watch can tell you the exact time in any timezone throughout the world without ever the need to be adjusted... pee off your friends when they ask "what time is it?" see how many times you can get away with saying "now!" before you and the watch take a splendid dive off the top of a mountain at the request of everyone around you.

and finally... if you thought the pillowig was funny.. wait till you meet:

Wear your seat:

Yes with this little bad boy you can sit down pretty much anywhere you like! cant find a bench... no problem, this wear over the back chair i must say does look half comfortable, but can you really get away with wearing it around town just like the pillowig? at the very least you can claim to be a ninja turtle just as long as you have weapons handy and paint it shell-green.

In other news I have watched the new animated resident evil (future blog) and work still sucks at present, anybody got anything fun planned for the weekend? tomorrow is my cousins 21st so you know im gonna get smashed for that and run around town like a drunken idiot... but hey special occasion... its not like i do it every week *cough*, whatever you are up to i hope you have fun and i will catch you all soon with your new blogs :D


Confessions of an MMORPG geek!

MMO's have been around for a long time now and have a varied amount of content genres ranging from sci-fi to fantasy... actually its pretty much either sci-fi or fantasy but thats a different story, many of them fall by the wayside and get erased from peoples memories, others have a following and have been going for a few years now, the one i play is a little known one called "World of Warcraft" to which i have been playing for 4 years now... and im still hooked, along the way though i have noticed a few things to which can be considered bizarre... some are funny, others are just sad, but anyways from an MMO geeks perspective let me introduce you to this world:


Is my in game character, now straight off you may notice it is in fact a girl, yes i play as a girl... this is not due to some perverted fantasy or i have the hots for an elf, its down to the fact that so many players in wow out there are so gullible to think u are a girl and will bend over backwards to help you out in quests etc just as long as u wink at them, they think they have a shot at making u there in game wife... yes people do get married in game, a tradition i have never understood but what can you do when you are the minority of people who think it is strange!

The great thing to wow is its community, a vast amount of players log in each day and sit there moaning about wow in dalaran... a big floating city in the sky... think im kidding?

Think again:

The great thing about wow is that you can quest by yourself, or join others on epic raids where you all sit there on teamspeak saying about how your last grouped sucked and they cant even beat ragnaros (chumps) for a solid 4 hours or so... grab the popcorn and beer and sit down in a comfy chair because if you say "sorry guys, gotta go" you get that really worrying silence of dissapointment treatment... like a chubby kid when the all you can eat sign is taken away from the restaurant window when they see u walk in... which really makes you feel guilty! the best way to avoid this would be to not raid, but in a game where you can inspect other players armour, you dont want to be frowned upon for not having the latest in fashion shoulderpads or the "defenders of the lost axe" (think about that one, u will get the pun eventually) quest drop.... this game almost makes you feel poor if your not keeping up with everybody else.

Other things you will pick up on are great quotes of complete idiocy from other players... for instance the other day:

Player 1: im the best death knight on this server!
Player 2: prove it, duel me!

Player 1: ok i will.... but i don't need to win to prove my point!

Rest of the server: WTF LOL NOOB!!! (roughly translated as oh dear... you must be new)

The joy of killing big dragons can be very rewarding and you and the guild will feel like you have achieved something great (just in case you dont you get an achievement... much like this one:)

And that chicken was a tough one to beat as well!...

In all honesty i have no idea why i play it so much, the gameplay is dated and so are the graphics, but there is just something about it that has managed to captivate the minds of millions of players worldwide and took them on a Journey around Azeroth... for 4 years now it has dominated the MMO market and does not seem to be losing its appeal, I would say to anybody who is thinking of starting it today that levelling from lvl 1 to 80 must seem really daunting, well.. it is... it totally sucks but still people do it and love it! lol crazy fools. By the way did i mention my character is totally fit?

The friday night blog! (2)

Goooooood evening folks, Hellboy here with another random friday night blog introducing you to the worlds most pointless gadgets and sayings that I have heard from the past week, hopefully by the end of the blog you will feel enlightened and enthralled... I say hopefully but we all know your just here for a giggle so its all good because that works too!

Funny thing actually, anybody like me looking for a definition to every word you say these days? i can't help myself, just hoping that I will come across a word which will make me laugh in its definition, sad i know but what can you do! now when typing in "Define: define" into google I got the very usefull "definition - a concise explanation of the meaning of a word or phrase or symbo" right down to the completely useless omg i knew that already you t*t i just wanted more explaination other than "The act of defining; A definition" - how is that defining define exactly?

Anyways todays the useless gadgets that we have on offer today are as follows:

The Banana Guard:

Lets overlook the fact that i hardly eat fruit.. lets look at the fact that you are carrying around a long shaft of plastic containing a Banana which already has a protection layer as it is naturally! lets also look into to the fact that my mum (bless her) decided to buy one and i was quick to point out the fact that most Banana's you buy at the actual shop are not that shape! and true to my claim the first banana i found had to be bent to fit into the bloody thing, also notice that carrying around a big piece of coloured plastic around can get you some funny looks, what would you do if your doctor walked in with one of these in his pocket? cant imagine? well here you go! you be the judge lol:

Disc Dispenser

Gone are the days when you need to actually untwist the plastic cap on your DVD/R disc stack! with the Disc Pod with just one click of a button this bad boy of ultimate lazyness will dispense your next DVD/R to put in your PC... now i would love to laugh at this one so much, but unfortunately a lot of embarassement comes with it as well... considering it was an English company who designed and made the thing! this surely does not have a market, if it does then good luck to you, if you cant reach over and pick up a DVD normally then i would love to see you go on the weekly shop!

USB Humping dog:

I kid you not, this thing actually does exist! it has no other feature (not even a flash drive) other than plug it into a USB drive... and watch the little boy have his wicked way with your pc/laptop.. and yet, I cant help but want to see the thing in action and no doubt laugh for the first 3 minutes of it having its way... surely an ideal gift for somebody you don't consider as a close friend but wanna get em something anyways, why not get em the humping dog!

Plug Remover:

Has the world actually gone mad? i mean seriously... a plug remover, its a friggin bit of plastic attached to a string! unless touching a plug these days is considered too dangerous, why would u shell out £7 ($10) for a piece of plastic and string?

Sonar II Lazer Pointer:

Essentially a lazer pen, a lazer pen that will set you back £1,000 ($1,670) because it is like a super lazer, pointing it at anybody directly in the eye for more than a split second will cause perminant damage to the retna of your eye! so great for your worst enemy, but not the kind of thing you give to an annoying10 year old. Designed using the same Lazers featured in the PS3 and Sony Blu-ray drives (hence the logo) do you really have that much spare money just for a shiny red dot?

So uotes of the week, so far this week I have found that people pretty much want everything pointed out to them as blatantly obvious as imaginable, and i really cannot understand it. For instance my mate the other day (the time was 12:00 midday) what time i will be heading into town so i say "in half an hour" his response was: "oh so at half twelve then?"............ give the guy a medal and call him Sherlock Holmes... i think he has cracked the puzzle! why state the obvious when you know your going to get a sarcastic response? Other funny quotes i have seen this week came from a church meeting in which people were invited to write a letter to god, one of them stated "God, if you make an appearance at church next Sunday i will show you my new pair of shoes"... cracked me up, nice to see that people still have a sense of humour i guess!

Anyways in other news it is Friday if you have not noticed! its freezing here in England and the cold has indeed given me a cold so i will be staying in for the majority no doubt trying to find comedy blog gold, working on banners and slowly easing my addiction to world of warcraft off even though i have been playing it more often since saying i was gonna kick the addiction... great success!


The fun with movie making

Shorter blog today folks as Im off to go watch 'The Wrestler' later to which i hope will be amasing! but reflecting on the day I have had, i thought i would share it with you in my usual form of blogging!

Happily sitting down with Tea and Crumpets this morning, fluffy slippers and a good old re-run of only fools and horses,when i get a phone call, an international phone call... to most people this would be exciting but to me this always means my producer of my latest film is calling to say hi! now if you don't know what a producer looks like, they are usually money grabbing gits who like to make swimming pools and fill em up with money instead of make a decent film that wont smash the box office... just in case you still don't have an image of your sterotypical producer, then here is mine:

So as I answer the phone with "The Mulock residents gentleman of the house speaking" (i will get to the point of why i'm doing the cliche brit thing in a second) away he goes "hey buddy... how are things over there sir?" (like he cares.... they never do!) the usual response of "up and down mate... not bad dude" he then comes up with the oh so annoying "I love you brits and your funny accents"... now I dont mind when an American person comments on my accent (especially the women) but when its an Australian trying to do his best American accent just to fit in, i really get pissed! considering its called the English language and I am from England how on earth is it me who has the funny accent I ask you... Skippy the friggin bush kangaroo reborn in America... what a A-hole lol... anyways now that that part of the convo is over, i can now move onto the next part.

Now when a producer calls or visits its never just because they thought they would stop by and say hi... oh no its because they have a change of plans or want to advise you on something... In this case he wants to talk money, a topic i hate no matter how much its about. Deciding suddenly that this film is too risky to make during a rescession, they want to cut my funding in half, and then ask the dumbest question... "can we still make the same film on that much money".. a predicted budget is there which sums up how much the vision is going to cost, half the budget gets you half the friggin vision so how on earth can it be done? the answer you are looking for is it cannot be done. Moving back a couple of rants to when he stated that its not rescession proof, how do you figure out that a budget of $12,000,000 with an estimated return of $50,000,000 (current climate taken into consideration) is bad in a rescession? is it just me or does he just want another $6,000,000 to build an extra wing onto his already huge house?

So anyways, now I have either got to fly over to California next week, or get on a conference call with the board (guess which one i would prefer to do) and see what the final say is on the matter, either way if i can leave you with one piece of advise it would be this... work in an office, you lose less hair!

The good news is that while im writing for this movie, i also have another project on the go that revolves around my love for using handycams to keep my skills in tacked behind the camera prior to a big film, and for once i am willing to gain help in the scriptwriting department, any help will get you mentioned in the credits and you can also see your vision on paper, on screen :D if you are interested in even writing a tiny section of the script during your spare time, then please let me know! Tomorrow is the Firday night blog, and we are going to delve further into useless gadgets and stupid real life quotes i have heard over the past week.

- Hellboyx

Game characters i would gladly have a pint down the pub with...

In todays world it seems like all you ever see down your local pub/bar are the moany old people who have not been home in the past 12 years looking for a good argument, and that one random guy that you always have suspected is a bit shifty but cant figure out why but still say hello to everytime you see him just to ensure that he doesnt ask you such pressing questions as "do you ever wonder what makes your skin stay on?" to which you slowly slide to the exit... nowadays i wonder what it would be like to share a drink with some gaming characters, so lets get on with it!

The first in the pub crawl would without a doubt be Solid Snake:

The guy has more war stories than red blood cells and would be a captivating person to listen to, the kind of guy who you can tell all your life stories too and he will make you feel better by listening to all your problems, and then say "oh thats nothing mate" and then go on about the issues with his family, instantly making you realise your life could be a lot worse than it is! The issue with taking Snake out nowadays is that when it comes to a night out on the pull with the lads, Snake has aged badly, and you will have to explain how you thought you would be nice and tell the girls how you brought your grandad out to help him over the loss of his brother's, Dad, Mum and just about everyone who he cares about (remember, he only keeps otacon around because he is a super geek and makes him feel better). Snake would happily buy a round or two for you all but just make sure there are no '!' around otherwise he will go into alert mode.

Next I would bring Duke Nukem:

The Duke must be the ultimate drinking buddy, a night out on town with Duke will gaurantee ladies, cracking one liners, cigars and a hell of a lot of beer drinking! You wouldnt need to worry about a drunken fight breaking out, as soon as one of em squares up to the Duke they would instantly apologise and sit back down, the trouble with the Duke is that he will talk you into going to a strip bar, subsequently then not being able to buy anybody a round because the Duke will just be giving all his money to the strippers, then dissapearing randomly with 5 women, leaving you short on money because he was the 4th person getting the Taxi home with the lads!

Now everygroup of drinkers always has the one guy who always gets drunk too quickly and starts a fight, and in this situation, i reckon that Kratos is the right guy for this:

Kratos has anger management issues as we all know caused by issues with the boss, but when he has had a couple of pints he will turn into the drunken idiot for sure. Mistaking everybody as some kind of foul beast (in some situations he will be right depending on the talent for the night) and you know when one of your mates has had a bad breakup and wants them back? they continually shout out there name in a pub? Kratos would be standing there: "ATHENA! Why do you darn ME!!!!" With Kratos you would have to send him home early because he is throwing up everywhere since he lost his 'godly' powers because he left the blade of olympus in the last pub you went to (wetherspoons) and insisting that he dont need a cab, he will whistle for something called 'pegasus'... at the point the Duke would have lost his temper, punched the lights out on Kratos, put him in a cab and told the driver to "eat sh*t and die".

and finally, making up the final part of the group would be Master Chief:

The Chief would be handy, but completely useless at the same time, lets look into the fact that the chief would not drink because he has a bloody space helmet on all the damn time! also making him unable to go into nightclubs out of refusal to remove the helmet, cutting the night short, he doesnt really have much of a topic of conversation because all he keeps on going on about are giant rings... something that the Duke is interested in until he gets told what kind of rings the Chief is talking about. The chief would be handy because by this time the Duke has sent Kratos packing, and vanished with a bunch of strippers so since the Chief is completely sober, and me and Snake don't have enough money to cover the cab fare, we all hope on the buggy (man the guns of course) and the Master Chief drives us all homes safely... just as long as he is not controlled by the god awful driving AI featured in Halo 3!

So anyways yet another random blog lol! in other news it has been 2 weeks since my "rehabilitation" or as i like to call it "the dark rebirth" of Hellboy and i must say i am having a blast at the mo, happiness is a great tool and as you can tell i am using it fully at the mo because the depressed Hellboy that i was in 2008 was close to breaking point, the fresh year has helped me exile my demons (and there were many) to the point that i feel like a new man, the way i did this was finding a 'life' so to speak, finding what life is to me was finding what makes me happy, writing, drinking and the love of a good woman has helped me find hapiness meaning i have found my meaning of life... which is fantastic! anyways i hope that others who I know are feeling a little down on this site find a state of happiness real soon because nobody truly wants to be miserable forever, take care and i will catch you soon :)

How to teach your kids valuable life lessons by things you see in a video game!

I have already down the years been told by many different ex partners (my tally is impressive, even a relationship that lasted half an hour... beat that!) that I am probably going to be one of the worst Dad's ever! which i seriously reject because how can i be when i already have made plans for my kid to become batman! and since parents are god in the eyes of a child... do u really need more proof?:

Moving swiftly on, today i was thinking, you remember when you was a kid and you asked those dieing questions that you needed answering? well remember how your parents always seemed to struggle to answer them? like you would get some complete rubbish about a sausage and a sandwhich to help explain the forbidden dance? well i now have a plan, Use video games to help explain! untill they grow up obviously... then these guidelines just make u look like an old school geek!

Scenario: Daddy where do Babies come from?

Lets finally throw out the old story about the stork dropping it off on his weekly rounds, lets step it up a gear and use SPORE as the excuse!

Answer: "you see son, you come in on a meteor" kid says "just like superman?" u reply "no not like superman dummy, god did you even play his last game? it really suc... err, i mean it was not the best example of a video game... so as i was saying, you travel far distances to reach planet earth and you crash land in the sea, at this point you are just a teeny tiny spec of a human being, and yes my boy, this was the first scan we got of you:"

"you are the big ugly green thing"!

"And after say oohh 9 months, me and your mom get a telegram to say that our little bundle of joy was now arriving at gate 12: on the eastern wing and we need to pick you up right away!" sure, your kid once he explains this at school will get some bizarre looks and questions, but when he explains that he will eventually evolve into a planet-conquering super-being carnivorous cross-breed they will leave him alone in no time!

Scenario: Daddy, this kid picks on me at school, what do i do?

Now we all know that telling the teacher only makes it worse on the boy, and saying stuff like "sticks and stones" will only double the issue even more when they find out he is a clever sod, so the simple option would be to sit them down and introduce them to Duke Nukem 3D! "you see son, Duke Nukem has lost his girlfriend to these guys over here, and he is upset and the teacher is no where to be seen, so what Duke does to help himself feel better is to say a few words of 'encouragement' to the guys and hope for the best, ok in most situations they dont listen so Duke has to deal with it in different ways, but im sure if you walked up to Billy and said I'm gonna rip off your head and sh*t down your neck... he will understand and wanna be your friend"

Disclaimer: if i read in the future that some kid ripped of a guys head and sh*t down it, im finding out which one of you actually listened to me and slapping you one!

Scenario: Daddy, the boogeyman is under my bed!

Now the best way to deal with fear is to confront it, explaining to the kid that the boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris is probably a safer way of dealing with it, but heres the other way, confront that fear by letting em play Silent Hill. "you see son, the boogeyman has nothing compared to these guys, look at that guy with the pyramid for a head, he would eat the boogeyman for breakfast!" this would immediately get rid of the fear of the boogeyman for sure, now they wont even want to go to sleep and will be scared of just about everything else, but parenthood is one step at a time am i right?

I just thinks its bizarre i noticed the boobs prior to looking at the faces!

Scenario: Dad, whats it like being a grownup?

Since you actually want your son to want to live a long life, the best thing you can do is tell them that it is fantastic and colourful in every possible way, but at the same time you want to subtlely advise them that they are not going to be the next man in space or the next David Beckham, so you use the Super Mario Bros approach to advising them that no doubt there future job in life might well be in the field of plumbing: "see son, super mario has to clear all those drains, and save a princess and deal with that nasty croc, doesn't that look like a fun job?!?" so that when your son turns around to you and says "dad... i want to be a plumber just like Mario" you can sit there with a subtle grin knowing that you have happily not led them on in life.

Thats my boy!

I did have another scenario prepped but after debating it for a while, even i don't have the guts to fully explain "what is sex?" using MGS saga mainly referring to a Big mama, Solid Snake and liquid, thats up for you to work your way through that scenario lol!

In other news work, as you no doubt guess still sucks, the world is still round and I am debating a change in career to plumbing, I recently started work on my first Little Big Planet user created map, damn im not as clever as i think i am lol, great fun though working it all out and trying to come up with gaming gold, my kicking the addiction to Wow idea really is not working, i seem to be playing it a bit more lol but the good news is there is a girl looking after me nowadays, believe it or not im a completely different person around her, so if she reads this she will no doubt think i suffer from some kind of split personality disorder lol. Take it easy guys and i look forward to reading ya blogs ; )

- Hellboyx.

Hellboy's Games dungeon

Down the years I have been a fond believer that every game should be taken on its own merit and you can't judge a book by its cover, well after growing up and finding you truly can judge things just on looks (yep i am that vein) I have been through enough games to realise when a turkey is on its way, so today we are going to sit down and work out the signs that a game will be complete poo rather than outstanding.

Step 1: games released to tie in with a movie.

We have all seen this, too many times i am afraid and by now this is the most obvious sign of a turkey of a game, Movie tie ins have a bad rep because majority of times they are rushed and pathetic excuses for games, not saying they all are but a large proportion of them seem to have this feel, oh and almost anything released by Disney movie tie-ins will no doubt be a complete waste of my incredibly easily earned cash, the problem starts by having to tie it in with the movie instead of approaching the idea from a different angle, that what works on screen may not always work on Joystick (and vice-versa) and it almost seems as if we have a game tie-in to every movie going nowadays, ranging from Scarface to the godfather, hell it wouldnt surprise me if the next game to come out is Frost/Nixon and you sit there for the 4 hour gaming time just having a chat with the soon to be ex president, with multiple choice on what question to ask next... Just in case it does happen let it be known that i called it first!

Step 2: Tv commercials consisting entirely of pre-rendered cinematics

Its a show of complete lack of confidence in your game if you cannot show to the general public any actual footage from your new game out of fear of it putting them off, I call this the "Nintendo" way to advertise, considering the Wii is so good at it, not saying Nintendo are specifically worried about there games etc.. but anybody else notice that Nintendo seem to be more worried about showing the public how the sodding controller works rather than what the game looks like? I'm a fond believer that video games are a lazy gits hobby (in my case its the definate answer) so im not really up for pretending to play golf/tennis etc... i will go outside and do that instead, but maybe if you actually showed me what the game looks like instead of how much fun the Redknapp family are having looking like complete tw*ts then maybe i might actually buy what your selling!

Step 3: anything liscensed by the History Channel!

You can pretty much tell that each one of these are not going to be any good, and they never dissapoint! always focusing around war, wethe it will be the trenches of world war 1, the skies of WWII or even the roman empire, it always seems to fail, maybe the History channel are going wrong focusing on war since that market is already packed to the brim with great games, the market needs to be focused elsewhere if you ask me...

Anyways i have chatted for a while and should really get on with my script lol, there does seem to be a long list of completely useless games out there for some reason and I have played through many of em lol! the good news is that nowadays there seems to also be a lot of top quality games coming out as well which is really good news for all of us, maybe one day I might sit down and write a heartfelt blog in which i congratulate the gaming industry on there hard work in keeping us entertained, chances are i wont because i prefer to sit here and b*tch for an hour rather than be serious, but hey thats just me :)

In other news work still sucks (no change there) and I have been happily creating some new banners to show off, created my first God of War one this morning and i am very pleased with it, shrunken to fit on the blog with no clipping so if you actually like it that much then message me and i will send you the original file, other then that I am ready to read and comment on some blogs so catch ya in a bit :)

- Hellboyx