Nice analogy OP, and I understand what you are saying but when you have no friends at all and you don't see things changing for you it's hard to still want to be a part of the big picture.
I also have no friends. a tough job. a wife i fight with constantly. house & car payments. a daughter..... i coasted through life. accepting what life gave me and waiting for it to give me something better. it never did. and i eventually attempted suicide. it's a shame that i let things get that bad. but it did open my eyes. i may still have no friends. but several of my co workers visited me in the hospital. if i put the effort in, i'm sure i could make them into the friends i always hoped to have. which would make my job easier. my wife has also come around after this whole thing. she's helping out more which is what we always fought about....things just don't seem as bad.
i know i'm putting kind of a positive spin on my suicide attempt. please don't think i'm encouraging it. i could have died. but i'm lucky i didn't and i'm glad it opened my eyes to things that were there all along. i was just too preoccupied with my self pity to see any of it. Things aren't going to change for you unless you put at least some effort into changing them. again, i hate to encourage my suicide attempts. but it was one of the first real steps i ever took towards shaping my own life. even if that shape was ending it. and the result is that it brought to light a lot of the supporters i ignored.
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