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Blazethorn Blog

Family Guy 'review'

Total score: 16 out of 20

Family Guy

S1/E1: Death Has a Shadow

  Peter Griffin loses his job at a toy factory due to his own negligence. He then applies for welfare; receiving more than he asked for from the government and the taxpayers - he decides to keep it for himself and his family. Eventually, Lois finds out and is furious at what he's done. Brian and Peter end up going on a trip to a football game; where, both of them, throw the taxpayer money down on the field as a sign of sorrow from Peter.

   Stewie has created a device in which it's capable of performing mind-control; when Lois takes it away, he declares war on his own mother - trying to shoot her with a tuna sandwich, cutting a part of her chairs leg, and trying to blow her up using six live, or active, grenades. 

   During the families welfare, Chris received breast implants and Megan had been given brand-new lips. 

Overall, Death Has a Shadow was solid; though, it wasn't as funny as I thought it was going to be. There are some parodies, or references, to other shows but not enough to really make the audience laugh their ass off. 

Overall score: 7.5 out of 10 (75% positive, 25% negative)

S1/E2: I Never Met the Dead Man

  Megan, really, wants to obtain her drivers license; so she asks Peter to teach her. After being taught illegal, also deadly, driving techniques she and her father end up driving into a television outpost - knocking out television all over Quahog. This, severely, angers the community.

   The family is concerned with Peter spending too much time on the television - when they get him off, he doesn't want to sit back down and ends up exhausting his family. He goes to a German festival with William Shatner until they run into a storm brewed by Peter's son: Stewie.

   Stewie has been outraged by Lois's decision to eat his brocolli. He vows he will get rid of the world's supply of brocolli by changing the weather to freezing temperatures. He creates a device which alters the weather; unfortunately, it ends up working against his family members when Lois and Megan get into a car accident with none other than Peter and William. William ends up passing away, while Peter gets up and walks it off.

   Overall, I Never Met the Dead Man was definitely an improvement over its predecessor. The humor was stronger, the jokes were cruder, and it was just plain entertaining to watch. Some parts weren't as funny as they could have been, but, overall, it was great.

Overall score: 8.5 out of 10 (85% positive, 15% negative)


Demo Impression: Fuse

Fuse (Demo Impression)

*I've, last, edited this demo impression at 10:17p.m on Wednesday, May the 18th, 2013*

Fuse impressed me; though, it wasn't the over-used plot or the copy-and-paste characters - it was, ultimately, the game-play experience that offers a lot of enjoyment and excitement. I've completed the Fuse demo both by myself and cooperatively with others online. I have to say both are great either way; one isn't better than the other. The only difficulty you're allowed to play on: normal. Normal difficulty provides a challenge for those looking to just utterly annihilate anything standing in its path. Fuse encourages teamwork - wonder too far off and you'll be overwhelmed with enemies. You see, each character, has their own unique ability. One is a medic; the other a protector; another a sniper; or, finally, a sharpshooter. The best part, though, is you can choose your own play-style: you want to infiltrate in stealth or do you want to engage the enemy in a full-on firefight - the choice is up to the player. Though, sometimes, if you're playing online, others will make that decision for you - which will either make, or break, your experience with the game; to me, it wasn't an overly-big deal.

One thing, if someone wanted to know, that could be improved in the full version of Fuse is the last level of the demo. You, and four others, fight two heavily-armed mechs. The problem is that on the solo difficulty, your partners don't really do much damage to it - leaving you up to the job mostly. The experience, though, disappears when you battle with others. 

Another thing, that myself particularly enjoyed, was the squad system. When you're in the main menu, you can send your friends invites to come play with you. Four of you are then stuck together in a squad and battle against loads of enemies. This, definitely, works well and is an easier way of communicating and interacting with your friends.

During the game, you level up your character - which you can spend on a variety of different perks. The way this is loaded out looks identical to Borderlands. You can increase your health, increase critical damage, or even upgrade your unique given power. In the demo, you're allowed to reach the rank of fifteen before you cannot go any further. You shall not pass, you shall not collect two-hundred dollars. Sorry, I had to say that.

Again, the only real downside so far to this game is the plot and characters. They aren't, particularly, memorable and have been used dozens of times before-hand. Four agents: Jacob Kimble, Naya Deveraux, Isabelle Sinclair, and Dalton Brooks are sent to investigate and infiltrate an alien base to collect a scientific sample of a fusion called fuse. It's a particularly aggressive fusion that is scarce and valuable. In the demo, you'll infiltrate a plant and battle your way to your escape chopper - only to find out something has happened. 

Overall, the demo of Fuse gave me a great impression. I'm considering purchasing the full version, which is released: Tuesday, May the 21st, 2013. The demo, approximately, lasts fifteen to twenty minutes - that is if you watch the cutscenes. Enjoy!

For those who want a score of the trial version of Fuse: I've given Fuse: four out of five.

Demo Impression: Resident Evil: Revelations

Resident Evil: Revelations (Demo Impression)

*I've edited this blog, recently, at 12:54p.m on Tuesday, May the 14th, 2013*

My, brief, experience with Resident Evil: Revelations was good. Though, after completing it, it left a lot of questions and it wasn't an overly long demo. I completed the demo on the easiest difficulty setting in, or around, five to ten minutes. I've tried, also, the normal difficulty setting - I've completed it around the same time. Noticable differences from the easy to normal difficulty would be the lack of shown up items (you'll have to scan, to find); enemies sponge more bullets; and enemies do more damage. So, pretty much, it's the usual stuff when you're dealing with difficulty settings.

After, just, completing the infernal difficulty setting - I, highly, recommend this mode for anyone looking for a challenge and a craving for intensity. The enemy spawn's have changed; a difficulty-exclusive mini-boss; two difficulty-exclusive weapons (possibly a third - I haven't found it yet; though, I think I know where it might be located); an increase in enemies; enemies do significantly more damage; and finding items are, almost, impossible to find. Scanning, using the Genesis, is both recommended and mandatory if you want to survive.

The soundtrack to Resident Evil: Revelations gives a nice, soothing melody of both violin and piano. It, almost definitely, will pull you in even further. 

The plot in the demo doesn't really explain itself. Jill Valentine, a BSAA Agent, is looking for another BSAA Agent named Chris Redfield on what appears to be an old, abandoned, ship left to rot in the sea. She's accompanied by another agent: Parker; who remains, almost, anonymous throughout the demo. The demo ends with a disappointing cliffhanger; the worst part, it didn't convince me to purchase the full game next week - not the entire demo, just the plot itself.

I'm, however, intrigued with the new mechanic of exploration: Genesis. Basically, what you can do, you can scan the environment and search for helpful items such as ammunition; herbal herbs; and quest items. Resident Evil: Revelations, definitely, seems to encourage exploration. Not that the others didn't encourage exploration, Revelations seems to make it mandatory. This is a good thing and made the game more enjoyable. 

The graphics in Resident Evil: Revelations are solid; though, it's nothing to really brag about. For most of the demo, you'll be walking through small hallways and sharp corners. In one part, if you decided to explore every nook and cranny in the demo, you'll actually leave the insides of the ship and walk around a small part on the outside. It, actually, doesn't look that bad - though, I was interested to know how the water looks like in the demo. You cannot see the water since there is a minor storm from above you or the ship in its entirety. Anyway, the graphics do make the game more intense - the small corridors, and sharp corners make for an uneasy and tense feeling that feels great. 

One thing, if someone were to ask, that could be improved in Resident Evil: Revelations is the melee system. It's stale, boring, and not that effective against enemies. In Resident Evil 4, 5, and 6 they were pretty much devastating to use on your disturbing foes - in this it's like your character forgot everything. All Jill does when she's close to an enemy is stab in the most ineffective way possible. The demo had even encouraged using it in the control guide; note to self, never listen to what is most effective in guides. You'll find what is effective and what isn't by yourself; not by listening to others or reading posts from others. 

Another thing, if someone were to ask, that could be improved in Resident Evil: Revelations is the menu map. It's a 3D model, or landscape, of the actual ship. Now, as cool as that sounds, it didn't work as well as the in-game map; the in-game map made more sense and gave a clearer direction of where to go. I'm not going to expect the best of both worlds; so, even if, Capcom doesn't take care of this problem - it wouldn't be a worry to me. I'll just end up using the in-game map. Maybe it all boils down to personal preference; am I the only one here? 

Overall, Resident Evil: Revelations looks, and plays, solidly. It's disappointing the demo only let's you briefly play it; this also terrifies me for the full version. Maybe the game isn't that long in the full, and they're trying to keep players from understanding the demo to a minimum. I guess we'll see when it releases next week on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013. 

For those who want a score of my overall impression of the game; I'd give Resident Evil: Revelations: four out of five.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S 'review'

Overall score, so far: 149 out of 200

Episode I: 'The Pilot'

The Pilot was a solid episode, and a decent introductory to the F.R.I.E.N.D.S television show. In this episode, Monica, played by Courtney Cox Arquette, gets into relationship trauma with a man named Paul; Rachel, played by Jennifer Aniston, runs away from her wedding and relies on her parents financially; Ross, played by David Schwimmer, divorces his wife, Carol, who turns out to have become lesbian, while maintaining a romantic interest for Rachel. The only thing that really took a good portion of this episode out, was that they didn't get a chance to tell more about Joey, Phoebe, and Chandler's stories. The three of which were played by Matt LeBlanc, Lisa Kudrow, and Matthew Perry.

Overall score: 8 out of 10 (80% positive, 20% negative)

Episode II: 'The One With the Sonogram at the End' The One With the Sonogram at the End was a decent episode, albeit slightly poorer compared to the previous episode. In my opinion, it wasn't as good as the previous - it lacked some interesting narrative, forgot more parts, and stale newly-introduced characters: Carol and Susan. Ross finds out from his ex-wife, Carol, she's pregnant; and, that, she will raise the child with her lesbian lover: Susan. This ends up turning into a war over the unborn child's name between Ross and Susan. Rachel brings back her ex-husband's engagement ring after a troublesome food incident. Monica panics when she has to host her son-loving parents. I don't, quite, get why they left out Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe's story again. They just feel like comedic supports to poor character-driven stories. Overall score: 7 out of 10 (70% positive, 30% negative)

Episode III: 'The One With the Thumb' The One With the Thumb was an entertaining episode; a, definitely, stronger episode than the previous one - better writing, introduction of two friends, and a solid episodic plot-line. Monica dates an influential man named Alan - whom everyone loves; though, things get emotional when Monica decides to break up with Alan and worries about how her friends will comprehend with the news. Phoebe gets frustrated with her bank giving her free money, and a football phone, in her monthly statements. Eventually she gives it all away to a homeless woman on the streets and ends up getting a pop bottle with a thumb inside of it. Little does she know, there is a hidden surprise in the can - a thumb. After helping Joey with his practice audition, Chandler gets addicted to cigarettes. Thoughout the episode, the friends struggle trying to break him of his habits. Overall, it was nice to finally see Chandler and Phoebe getting some attention - and the situations, for the most part, were a riot. Rachel and Ross took support characters in this episode; they seem to be better being a support character, than a primary character.

Overall score: 8 out of 10 (80% positive, 20% negative)

Episode IV: 'The One With George Stephanopoulus' The One With George Stephanopoulus is another half-baked episode. Don't get me wrong, it isn't totally bad - though, it feels as if it's aimed at the female audience. After Rachel meets her, incredibly-annoying, friends at the Central Perk; she gets depressed and attends Monica's sleepover with Phoebe. This, quickly, turns into a drag when Rachel brings down the apartment with depression. Though, things get better for the girls when they see a politician having sexual relations with a woman from the building across; they, eventually, end up with his pizza and gossip all along the front balcony, while watching from across the street. Meanwhile, Ross, Chandler, and Joey go to a hockey game. Though, it becomes a boring experience when Ross finds out that today was the day he first consummated with his ex-wife. This makes the hockey game all so boring - that is until Ross gets hit by a flying puck in the face. At the hospital, Ross, Chandler, and Joey are all frustrated due to the lack of medical attention in the facility (it's making fun of the Canadian health care system - I'm Canadian and it sucks). The ending of this episode was confusing and, mildly, disappointing. This episode seemed to try and implemented a connected storyline between all characters and it turned out to be more of a mess than anything. Don't get me wrong, it's a decent episode but it's just as weak as the second episode.

Overall episode: 7 out of 10 (70% positive, 30% negative)

Episode V: 'The One With the East German Laundry Detergent" 

The One With the East German Laundry Detergent was a step-up from the previous episode; the inter-connected plotlines were decent this time around and made, overall, a more entertaining episode. Ross takes Rachel out on a date at the launderama and get into a battle with a nasty, old, woman. Joey and Monica team up together to take down a couple and keep the pieces for themselves. Chandler and Phoebe decide to break up with their partners together. It's nice to see the "comedic supports" getting air-time and having their own personal drama. Chandler's, in particular, was the most entertaining. I still don't like how there hasn't been much of an introduction to Joey; he's kind of there, but not, if you know what I mean. Overall, it was a better episode than the last. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are on the top F.R.I.E.N.D.S list as of now.

Overall episode: 7.5 out of 10 (75% positive, 25% negative)

Episode VI: 'The One With the Butt'

The One With the Butt is, pretty, funny. Chandler falls in love with a woman; who, currently, has a husband and a boyfriend. The gang make fun of Joey's latest audition: Froyd! They also make fun of his upcoming audition where he plays Al Pacino's butt double. Monica's obsessive-compulsive disorder kicks in, and turns out to be quite funny. Overall, this episode was solid; this episode finally introduced the last of the gang: Joey Tribbiani. Chandler's hilarious performances continue to keep this show on its all-time high.

Overall episode: 8 out of 10 (80% positive, 20% negative)

Episode VII: 'The One With the Blackout'

The One With the Blackout was great; it wasn't excellent. New York goes without power; causing some mischief and mayhem with each friend. Chandler gets stuck in an ATM vestibule with a model named Jill Goodacre. Joey learns that Monica had a crush on him when they first met. Ross tries to ask out Rachel - but can't due to her falling in love with a foreign italian man named Paolo. Phoebe gets upset when she is the last to learn everything. Sadly, most of these "storylines" are miniscule and the ones that are the main, or primary, plot aren't that great. The whole Rachel story, in this episode, was getting a little tiresome, dull, and boring. Everyone else, however, had almost a secondary-to-none plotline in this episode - Chandler as an exception. Chandler's part in this episode was the funniest and the most entertaining; therefore he's done it again - he's brought up the show when it needed it the most; without him, the show seems like it would be horribly stale.

Overall episode: 8 out of 10 (80% positive, 20% negative)

Episode VIII: 'The One Where Nana Dies Twice'

The One Where Nana Dies Twice is, no doubt, the best episode filmed so far. Monica is furious at her mother for consistently pointing out her wrong-doings. Ross and Monica are heartbroken to hear about their Nana's passing; or did she die? It's quite funny what happens in the hospital. The dialogue was exceptionally well written - making it for an enjoyable episode. The funeral, itself, was the funniest part in the episode - be warned, this episode does have a more twisted, darker, sense of humor this time around. It was nice to see. Chandler is mistaken for a homosexual; everyone telling him he's got a quality about him - this plotline was also hilarious. Chandler continues to make me laugh throughout each episode; and it was nice to see Ross and Monica have their own tied story together this time instead of the tiresome and boring Rachel and Ross drama.

Overall episode: 8.5 out of 10 (85% positive, 15% negative)

Episode IX: 'The One Where Underdog Gets Away'

The One Where Underdog Gets Away is a funny episode; though, Rachel is beginning to irritate me. She's very whiny throughout this episode; Chandler, again, manages to perform at a hilarious level while revealing some of his, most, depressing childhood pasts. Joey tries to hit on chicks; though, his job has recently made him look really bad - so bad it's a laugh-out riot. Poor Monica, has to deal with everyone's mopey food choices. Ross, Phoebe, and Joey all want different potatoes to the point it stresses out Monica - eventually they all get locked out of their own apartment; their food is burnt, and the feud begins between one another. Overall, it was a good episode - the thanksgiving theme was what kept this going; though the whining of Rachel and some lack of story mechanics or elements left this episode to be desired.

Overall episode: 8 out of 10 (80% positive, 20% negative)

Episode X: 'The One With the Monkey'

I think the writers are starting to realize what an atrocity they've created within the character of Rachel. In this episode, she was whiny as ever - and eventually got beaten up at an airport. Ross brings his monkey to an announced New Year's Party: Marcel - who want's nothing to do with Ross. It's sort of funny, but for the most part, though, it remains stale. Chandler brings his annoying ex-girlfriend Janice to the party, where he dumps her again. The back and forth thing between these two is sort of funny. Overall, this episode was just as solid as the last one - but not something entirely memorable.

Overall episode: 8 out of 10 (80% positive, 20% negative)

Episode XI: 'The One With Mrs. Bing'

The One with Mrs. Bring was solid; though, again, nothing worth a second watch. Rachel continues to make-out with her italian boyfriend: Paolo. Though, Ross's jealousy is starting to get overwhelmed - and celebrating Chandler's mother's success stories; he ends up letting his emotions run wild and kisses Chandler's mother.This, eventually, leads to chaos between the men. Monica and Phoebe become attracted to a man at the newspaper stand; that is, until he ends up in a coma and they both take care of him - until it becomes, almost, a competitive rivalry. This was a solid episode; though, the show is starting to lose its predictable charm. 

Overall episode: 7 out of 10 (70% positive, 30% negative)

Episode XII: 'The One With the Dozen Lasagnas'

The One With the Dosen Lasagnas, finally, started to pick at some links. Paolo has been found cheating on Rachel; attempting to have sexual relations with Phoebe. This, eventually, leads to Ross's opportunity for the love express. However, he's shut down when Rachel says she doesn't want to be with any other man. Joey and Chandler are frustrated with one another since they cannot agree on purchasing another table for their apartment room; this is actually, quite, funny. Eventually, they end up getting a memorable object in the series: the foosball table. Monica gets into a verbal argument with her foul-mouthed grandmother; she, eventually, needs to find a place for a dozen lasagnas. The plots, at points, don't really mix well together - but, overall, this still was a strong episode and, even better, ultimately, lead to a more emotional climax.

Overall episode: 7.5 out of 10 (75% positive, 25% negative)

Episode XIII: 'The One With the Boobies'

The One With the Boobies was funny; though, it wasn't very broad in terms of depth. Basically, Chandler catches Rachel half-naked in her room and it becomes an issue mainly with Rachel. This, eventually, escalates into a full-blown shower invasion with each friend. It's, quite, hilarious. Overall, there was more to it - but, right, now I've lost brain cells listening to Hannah Montana. 

Overall episode: 8 out of 10 (80% positive, 20% negative)

Episode XIV: 'The One With the Candy Hearts'

This was, another, well-written and story-storied plot. Chandler, accidentally, gets involved with his annoying ex-girlfriend on Valentine's Day; when he breaks up with her, she doesn't think it's over this time making Chandler almost deathly paranoid. Everyone meets Phoebes new, psychologist, boyfriend: Rodger. It turns out, in the end, everyone hates him. It was a strong episode, and most of the characters were likable - even the newly introduced Rodger. Though, again, it wasn't the most amazing thing I've ever seen - I'd recommend watching this.

Overall episode: 8.5 out of 10 (85% positive, 15% negative)

Episode XV: 'The One With the Stoned Guy'

The One With the Stoned Guy was an absolute riot; After Chandler grows tiresome of his repetitive work, he quits. Though his boss liked him so much, he offered him a position he couldn't refuse: his own office with an increase in pay. Though, this leads to trouble when he's asked to fire a decent-looking woman and he doesn't - instead he goes out with her and lies to upper-echelon staff. Phoebe offers Monica a job offer by a man who appears to be high on drugs; chaos begins to ensue. 

Overall episode: 9 out of 10 (90% positive, 10% negative)

Episode XVI: 'The One With Two Parts'

The One with Two Parts was emotional but great. Joey goes on a date with Phoebe's sister: Ursula. Meanwhile, she feels upset - in the end, there is a plot twist, and Joey ends up kissing Phoebe. Ross has entered a nervous state; in which he doesn't know if he'll actually make it into fatherhood with his unborn son. Monica and Rachel switch health insurance to cover each other and eventually go on a date with two doctors (one of them being performed by George Clooney). Overall, it was an exceptionally-emotional episode but it set itself apart and made it more distinctive than the others.

Overall episode: 8.5 out of 10 (85% positive, 15% negative)

Episode XVII: 'The One With All the Poker'

The One With All the Poker was a great episode; it really brought together Ross and Rachel - which stopped the endless whinyness of them both. Basically, the girls don't understand why the guys never play poker; so they're invited to play - and it turns out they blow. They, eventually,hire a nasty poker tutor to teach them but they learn very few due to the guys knowing the tricks they're hiding up their sleeves. Overall, it was good for people that like references to poker; though, that's all the episode really shows. There isn't, any, secondary plot-lines.

Overall episode: 8.5 out of 10 (85% positive, 15% negative)

Episode XVIII: 'The One Where The Monkey Gets Away'

This is was a solid episode - until the ending, or conclusion, absolutely ruined it.  Basically, Ross gives Marcel to Rachel to babysit and she loses him. Things start to get hectic when Animal Control is called in and threatens to not only to take the monkey but to throw Ross in prison for two years: in possession of an illegal, and exotic, animal. Rachel wants to start dating again after hearing about Barry and Mindy's wedding; then in the ending, Barry runs off to find Rachel - invades their home and tells her he loves her. What absolute, unrealistic, bull. This episode was unrealistic, and the conclusion was, obviously, a rush attempt at throwing this episode out.

Overall episode: 6 out of 10 (60% positive, 40% negative)

Episode: XIX: 'The One With the Evil Orthodontist'

This was, in my opinion, my least favorite episode - so far. Rachel has brought her character back to being a whiny bitch. Surprisingly, this time around, Chandler's plotline took a bit of a dive - in terms of quality. Chandler likes this girl but she never calls him on the phone and throughout the entire episode they banter back and forth; it's not as funny as it sounds. Ross becomes jealous over Rachel's decision to go back to her cheating husband. Overall, this episode clearly lacked everything that the previous episodes had offered. Some parts were funny, but they were few and far between

Overall episode: 5 out of 10 (50% positive, 50% negative)

Episode XX: 'The One With The Fake Monica'

This was a, definitive, improvement over the last episode; though, it still wasn't as entertaining as I would have liked. Monica finds out that someone has stolen her identity and has used her credit card multiple times on events such as dancing or theatre. Monica finds this interesting and eventually becomes best friends with her identity thief. Ironically, this is funny. Ross finds out that Marcel's humping has to do with him reaching sexual maturity - where, in time, he will become aggressive and assertive if he doesn't get his monkey love. Eventually, they send him off to a San Diego Zoo. Overall, it was a funnier episode - though, again, it needs some improvement

Overall episode: 7 out of 10 (70% positive, 30% negative)