"Another day, a new pair of undies," yawned Yuri, sleepily casting off a pair of dirty boxers and walking naked toward the dresser. As he approached it, he noticed that it was shaking violently, bouncing up off of the ground and thrashing back and forth, tilting slightly from side to side and marring the wall behind it.
Yuri jolted backward and his heart fell into his stomach."What the-?!" He dashed back to his discarded underpants and hurriedly put them on and then ran out of the room. "You guys!"
He found his dad and his sister watching T.V. in the living room, his father wearing his bathrobe sipping coffee and his sis, still in her P.J.s, was watching cartoons.
"Yuri!" his father yelled in a bemused tone, "If you're going to come bursting into the room like a maniac, you could at least do it with your pants on!"
"Yuri's na-ked," his sister giggled.
"I'm not naked, stupid."
"Naked - naked - naked - naaa~ked."
"Shut up!" Yuri turned to his dad, "There's something weird happening in my room."
His father chuckled, "You mean like the time a bright light shined in on you while you were sleeping?"
"Hehe, Yuri thought aliens came to experiment on him!"
Yuri turned red, "Well, when Mrs. Bearman pulls into her driveway, it looks just like an alien invasion. Maybe next time it won't be Mrs. Bearman's Chevy and I'll be ready for them and you'll be thanking me when I save you from having your brains sucked out with bendy straws."
Yuri's mom popped in from the kitchen, the smell of scrambled eggs and toast following behind her. "Breakfast is ready." She looked at Yuri, "Honey? Why aren't you dressed?"
Suddenly he remembered the bouncing dresser in his room. He could still hear it throwing itself around his room. "My dresser's possessed!"
His mom frowned, "Oh, Yuri, we've been over this already. Ghosts don't exist, so there's no way they can "possess" your things."
"But Mom! It was bouncing all over! It even-"
"Yuri!" Yuri immediately stopped mid-sentence. "For the last time, there's no such thing. Now, I don't want to hear another word about it. Come and eat your food." Yuri's mom started back into the kitchen, and stopped at the door, "Oh, but put some clothes on first."
Yuri hung his head and walked back down the hall to his room where he found his dresser still possessed by a demon who seemed to like nothing better than making dressers convulse awkwardly. Finally, Yuri decided that he would solve the problem on his own. He couldn't have some demon taking over his dresser - his clothes were in there and nothing would keep him from his favorite shirts and pants.
He went into the closet and emerged wearing a football helmet and armed with a baseball bat. He slowly approached the rattling dresser. With his bat raised, he opened the top dresser, where he kept his underwear. Inside, he saw his boxers fighting amongst themselves, the elastic around the edges of the waists balled into tiny fists.
One of them saw Yuri. Distracted from battle, it took a hit in its waist elastic. It motioned for the others to stop fighting and pointed at Yuri, and all the other boxers turned to look up at a gap-mouthed Yuri.
"Hey, man!" one of them yelled, using the crotch hole for a mouth. "What do you think you're lookin' at, eh?! Close the drawer and get outta here, dumbass!"
Yuri made a small raspy, gasping sound when his underwear spoke to him. Had he gone mad? Was this all a figment of his own twisted imagination?
...to be continued...maybe.
Inspired by this thread.