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*SpikeSpiegel Blog

I Hate Going to the Mall

I went shopping for some new clothes for the first time in...a few years, I think, and I just remembered how much I hate going to the mall. It's all white and colorful and there are all these crumby booths with people calling to you when you just want to be left alone. It's so annoying.

And I couldn't find anything I liked. It's like every piece of clothing there sucks, with collars and frilly, silky, polyester, whatever-the-hell materials. Bleh. Why can't I just find a nice simple cotton shirt -- maybe one with a marijuana leaf on it? Where do slightly morose, geek, slacker, stoners like me go to get some decent clothes? :(


I currently don't have any, and I'm bored, so it's seeming like a good idea. I was thinking about getting one in my bottom lip, maybe a couple in my eyebrow and a few in my ear. I dunno yet, though. I'll think it over for the next week or two before I decide.

Broke My Leg

I was walking across the edge of a planter box this morning, goofing off playing acrobat. It was wet, so I slipped and I felt my leg snap on the way down. My friends drove me to the hospital and I had a cast put on.

The good news is I get to roll around in this spiffy wheelchair and since I'm kind of stuck at home, I've started writing again. What's even better is that I don't completely hate what it is I'm getting written. I guess Thomas Mann was right, great artists (or in my case, mediocre artists) really are great invalids.

Drug Testing

I found out last week that I have to take a drug test on May 2nd, so I've got to lay off the pot-smoking...I mean, marijuana is bad...anyway, I can't...protest it until then if I'm going to have any chance of passing. I wish it was the 2nd already; all that lovely marijuana waiting to be...protested against. :(

Damn whoever made it illegal! :evil:

Of All the Awesome Things...

It seems like I only write in this journal when something horrible's happened to me. All of my entries have unhappy faces at the end of them, it seems...

Well, that's all done with. No more "I'm sick. *cough*" or "OMG! I spilled scalding hot water on myself!" No more holding back. Now, back to what's really important here: me.

A few entries ago, I told you about how my roommate, Jamie, and I "hooked up" (it was only a matter of time before she could no longer resist my magnetic wit and charm ;) ). While we're still technically "just friends", we've been going at it a lot since the first time. Maybe it's just because of all the pent up sexuality errupting in the span of a few months - maybe it's just what happens when two people with extremely high sex drives live together.

For the most part, it's awesome. During the day, we'll hang out like usual and then soon or later, one of us will say something like, "Hey, wanna **bleep**?" and of course the answer is "Psh, hellz yeah!", you know, since we're both so totally hot. 8)

Anyway, we've been keeping the whole thing secret from my other roommate. The three of us have been hanging out together for most of our lives, and neither of us is sure if telling him about how his two childhood friends are having casual sex every other free moment is a good idea. It's probably best he doesn't find out for at least as long as we're all still living together. I mean, there's no reason to make things weird for him, is there? Besides, keeping it secret makes it more exciting. :D


I burned the roof of my mouth eating one of those frozen pizzas. I was in too much of a hurry and I didn't let it cool long enough and now I've got a blister. Yes, a blister in my mouth. What's worse is that every once in a while, it popped because I kept rubbing it with my tongue, so I have a steady stream of pus oozing into my mouth. Yummers. :(


It's only been a few weeks since I got over my flu, and now I've caught something else. Now I'm stuck in the house wrapped up in my blanket drinking orange juice. Why does this have to happen now, of all times? :(

Mexican Boxers

"Another day, a new pair of undies," yawned Yuri, sleepily casting off a pair of dirty boxers and walking naked toward the dresser. As he approached it, he noticed that it was shaking violently, bouncing up off of the ground and thrashing back and forth, tilting slightly from side to side and marring the wall behind it.

Yuri jolted backward and his heart fell into his stomach."What the-?!" He dashed back to his discarded underpants and hurriedly put them on and then ran out of the room. "You guys!"

He found his dad and his sister watching T.V. in the living room, his father wearing his bathrobe sipping coffee and his sis, still in her P.J.s, was watching cartoons.

"Yuri!" his father yelled in a bemused tone, "If you're going to come bursting into the room like a maniac, you could at least do it with your pants on!"

"But, Dad!"

"Yuri's na-ked," his sister giggled.

"I'm not naked, stupid."

"Naked - naked - naked - naaa~ked."

"Shut up!" Yuri turned to his dad, "There's something weird happening in my room."

His father chuckled, "You mean like the time a bright light shined in on you while you were sleeping?"

"Hehe, Yuri thought aliens came to experiment on him!"

Yuri turned red, "Well, when Mrs. Bearman pulls into her driveway, it looks just like an alien invasion. Maybe next time it won't be Mrs. Bearman's Chevy and I'll be ready for them and you'll be thanking me when I save you from having your brains sucked out with bendy straws."

Yuri's mom popped in from the kitchen, the smell of scrambled eggs and toast following behind her. "Breakfast is ready." She looked at Yuri, "Honey? Why aren't you dressed?"

Suddenly he remembered the bouncing dresser in his room. He could still hear it throwing itself around his room. "My dresser's possessed!"

His mom frowned, "Oh, Yuri, we've been over this already. Ghosts don't exist, so there's no way they can "possess" your things."

"But Mom! It was bouncing all over! It even-"

"Yuri!" Yuri immediately stopped mid-sentence. "For the last time, there's no such thing. Now, I don't want to hear another word about it. Come and eat your food." Yuri's mom started back into the kitchen, and stopped at the door, "Oh, but put some clothes on first."

Yuri hung his head and walked back down the hall to his room where he found his dresser still possessed by a demon who seemed to like nothing better than making dressers convulse awkwardly. Finally, Yuri decided that he would solve the problem on his own. He couldn't have some demon taking over his dresser - his clothes were in there and nothing would keep him from his favorite shirts and pants.

He went into the closet and emerged wearing a football helmet and armed with a baseball bat. He slowly approached the rattling dresser. With his bat raised, he opened the top dresser, where he kept his underwear. Inside, he saw his boxers fighting amongst themselves, the elastic around the edges of the waists balled into tiny fists.

One of them saw Yuri. Distracted from battle, it took a hit in its waist elastic. It motioned for the others to stop fighting and pointed at Yuri, and all the other boxers turned to look up at a gap-mouthed Yuri.

"Hey, man!" one of them yelled, using the crotch hole for a mouth. "What do you think you're lookin' at, eh?! Close the drawer and get outta here, dumbass!"

Yuri made a small raspy, gasping sound when his underwear spoke to him. Had he gone mad? Was this all a figment of his own twisted imagination? be continued...maybe.

Inspired by this thread.

It's Mah Birfday! :D

Yup. I turned 19 on the 19th. I just came back from my party. I don't usually like parties, but this one was way cool. I decided that, since it was my birthday party and all, I should be in my birthday suit. No one seemed to mind my casual nudity. In fact, I actually got a few people to join me in my nude endeavour (yeah, my friends are so cool. ^_^ ) and my party kind of turned into this weird nudist-type thing. By the end, I'd say at least half of everyone that was there had gotten completely naked at some point in time. It was just a frenzy of drunk/stoned (drugs are bad, kids), pretty, naked people dancing around like a psychiatric ward gone utterly out of control. I loved it. :D

Two Entries in the Same Month?!

Yeah, I know. Mind boggling, right? Wrong!! ...wait, no, that was right. Sorry, forget I said that.

Anyway, nothing new is really happening. Today, I mostly sat on the couch and watched T.V. No game playing, no chatting with friends, no classes, just me and my old friend television. And you know what I noticed while I was watching T.V.? That T.V. sucks ass. I mean, the only thing I can find on T.V. that's worth watching is Rugrats! Not the new ones - no sir. The new Rugrats are horrible. The ones they used to show when I was a kid I still think are great, though. They're hilarious (well, at least more funny than the crap they've got on nowadays). It was the only thing I actually wanted to watch this morning.

Oh, but the good thing is, Daria came on - four times! I loved that show when I was a kid - and it's most likely what influenced the apathy that I carry with me this very day. Thanks, Daria! You rock! :D... I mean - Thanks, Daria. You rock. :|

Well, that's all for today. Tune in next time, same Spiegel time (whenever I feel like), same Spiegel channel (this place, you idiot).

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