"Grandpa, you pulled the turkey out too soon." "No, I didn't. "

User Rating: 4 | Primordia PC
Grandpa thought the turkey was cooked perfectly. But it had been some time since his senses worked properly. Meanwhile his family didn't want to make him feel bad so they quickly put a bag over the grandson's head who was still too young to understand the situation and ate the burnt turkey anyway. Heck, dinner comprises of a lot more than just turkey. There's mashed potatoes, gravy, vegetables pastas, you name it. If you're lucky a slut might even give you dome under the table. If you're not lucky you may not even have enough money to afford a dinner like this.

See, I'm the kid who got the bag thrown over his face; Primordia, an indie sci-fi point and click adventure game, represents the entire meal; and the overdone turkey is the game's voice acting. While Primordia may have a lot of saviory components, I just can't get over the burnt turkey sitting there like a brain tumor at the center of the table. Sure many will call this complaint petty and irrelevant, but I find story telling in point and click adventures to be the cold beer after a long hard day down in the coal mine. You don't want to crack that brew and taste your dogs lukewarm urine, am I right?

Granted I know this game barely had a budget and somebody had to deliver the lines...Actually, on second thought, why not scrap the voice actors and just make the robots and other junk make wierd farting noises instead? Then have some English subtitles scroll across the bottom. It does seem a little odd that everyone speaks English in this game, even if they do resemble my mutant neighbors.

But then again I guess a lot of people enjoyed this game. I seem to have a problem anything these days. But who knows, maybe all these other reviewers were just secretly also getting dome under the table at the same time.

I'm a vegetarian who also eats meat.