It was a dark and stormy night...

User Rating: 8.6 | Nosferatu: The Wrath of Malachi PC
I am a huge fan of haunted houses, forests, and castles. Every year at around Halloween, the local theatre flunkies and Savini wannabees contribute their oft-impressive talents toward building a temporary home for wraiths and zombies. Just this week, in fact, no less than four spook cities opened along my route to work. The only possible repellent to my love for stumbling through a darkened hallway, waiting for the next stuffed ghost to fly by or facepainted part-timer to chase me with a fake chainsaw, is bad word-of-mouth; for my own contribution to the grapevine, the haunted mansion at Six Flags Over Georgia is the worst, lamest maze of half-hearted scares I’ve ever seen, while to name my favorites over the past few years would take a while.

I bought a copy of Nosferatu based on the promise of a similar boogers-and-haints experience, and I’m glad to say that the game delivers on that promise. Malachi’s castle is lousy with all manner of evil dead, many of them of the vampiric variety. Ghouls, zombies, and even genuinely unsettling demons broaden the menagerie to include just about everything I ever dreaded as a kid. With little more than burning stakes to light my way, I was frequently startled into firing my sole musket round into the moldy floorboards of Malachi’s castle as my attacker carved bloody gashes across my field of vision. To that end, the weapons were balanced just right for a heightened sense of panic, although I quickly learned to follow the game’s music cues to avoid most ambushes. The available weapons were also very creative; chalices of holy water, flintlock pistols, and the requisite crucifix were a welcome change of pace following the extensive WWII-themed FPS binge that preceded my purchase of Nosferatu.

Nosferatu’s room randomization feature was a bit overrated, mostly because its main purpose was to add more urgency to the game’s execrable beat-the-clock element. There are two (thankfully rare) FPS conventions that I cannot stand: tightly-timed sequences and a lack of quicksaves. Nosferatu does allow the player to save anywhere (although it’s possible to reload with something dreadful already waiting nearby), but friends and family members will drop like flies (or, more accurately, hang like butchered meat) in short order. Many of the game’s deadlines are set far too early in the evening considering that the protagonist has until dawn to save the world. The ever-present timer wasn’t too much of a problem – I only lost dear Melissa to Malachi’s depravations – but I still don’t like to rush through a game in favor of thorough exploration.

Otherwise, Nosferatu was an adrenalizing blast on a level of the best seasonal spookfests. A sequel set in a haunted forest would be perfect, as long as the timed objectives are put to rest. In the meantime, The Wrath of Malachi is a fairly satisfying fix for funhouse fans.