Kabuki Warriors isn't just the killer app for the XBOX, it's better than life itself.

User Rating: 9.5 | Kabuki Warriors XBOX
Very recently I have become tired with the latest generation's overhyped games and their glaring imperfections. The Halos, Gears of Wars, and Soul Caliburs of our time have lost sight of what it truly means to be a game - total escape from reality, an alternate world in which you can do whatever you please, whenever you like.

Kabuki Warriors for the XBOX does just that. Find me one human being whose dream is not to fight in a battle troupe across Japan, performing for audiences by slicing up your (extremely detailed and diverse) opponents. It's not possible. Only in my dreams have I been able to achieve such happiness as Kabuki has granted me. Long story short, Kabuki is less of a game and more of a realm of complete and total understanding of the universe. Kabuki grants you wisdom and infinite karma.

But let's get down to the game itself. From the beautiful opening CG video (top notch graphics, even held against modern 'gems') to the outstanding soundtrack, to the innovative and intuitive combat engine and controls, you'll be hooked. In fact, the only reason this game gets a 9.5 is that it will make you hate your life because you are not a Kabuki Warrior, and sooner or later you will have to stop playing.

The graphics are very nearly reality - you will be so immersed in the Japanese stage that you may soil yourself. I am not kidding. I haven't played one session of the game without either urinating myself or defecating ceaselessly due to the amazement that is Kabuki Warriors.

The game is so good I can't even believe it exists.

Buy it. Now. You will thank me for the rest of your life.