Horsez (with a z) is so terrible, it made me vomit blood until I could see forever.
For starters, the opening FMV is laden with clouded pixels and some faux-Harry Potter music. The epic tale of a girl at a horse... school begins, her train boarded for wherever. When she gets off, she finds the school and the real fun begins. Bad voice acting is coupled with bad voiceover editing as the characters duel with bad dialogue. She is let into the academy but tragedy strikes! A fire has broken out in the stables. You firsthand experience the horrible camera as you run to the stables to save a horzey, bumping into everything as epic music blasts behind you. Once inside, the music shuts off and you fumble over a lock until a horse stands over you like the killer he is. You faint. The instructor who let you in runs to you with a gait that can only be described as "the epileptic conquistador's mad dance" and talks to you without his mouth moving, a la The Granstream Saga. You wake up in your room and play dueling dialogue with the sexy bad boy latin lover classmate dude with a dark past. What does all this have to do with horsez? Nothing.
However, after more horrible Ecks vs. Sever quality story, you're finally allowed to work with horsez. You race them poorly, you wash them poorly (although trying to drown them is kinda funny if you can last up to this point), you even pick up their dung and leftover hay with poor controls. You brush some horsez, poorly, and then you go right into a stealth mission! Wait, what? Ok. You have to sneak around the academy and mess with the instructor's game of checkers when he isn't looking at one point. Why? So you can find the gift your hot-blooded latin friend bought for some party that's going on. Why? I don't know. The controls and camera here are the same as your stable excursion so I didn't get very far. I did, however, bump into the headmaster during the stealth mission and he didn't notice. My head started hurting so I turned it off.
Horsez. Not the best gaming experience I've ever had.